


portions for foxes

by adreamaloud, daneorange (adreamaloud)



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, interns au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:12:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2007072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adreamaloud/pseuds/adreamaloud, https://archiveofourown.org/users/adreamaloud/pseuds/daneorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That ridiculous interns AU in which Alex tries not to get wheedled into the Grand Office Bang-Off but gets tangled in a bet anyhow. There are AUs your mother warns you about. This is probably that AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ask a writer

**Author's Note:**

> In which Alex Vause tries hard not to sleep with her boss's daughter. Title is from Rilo Kiley.

"Vause." Alex chews on the end of her pen absently, staring at her screen as she answers her phone. It's decidedly early, but her first deadline is in a couple of hours, and she's approximately three thousand characters short of a submission. Why she even thought about answering the phone to begin with is dubious, but at least it's better than email.

There's a pause on the other end before a familiar voice kicks in. "Do you know what day it is?"

 _Nichols._ Alex sighs, rolling her eyes and glancing toward the direction of Nicky's cubicle down the hall. "I have something to turn in before lunch, Nicky, I don't have time--"

" _Interns_ , Vause," says Nicky in her faux whisper. "Filing into a second-floor orientation as we speak."

 _Great,_ Alex thinks, groaning inwardly. The onset of intern season coincides with the section's closing. _Perfect. Like we all need additional distractions._ "Remember that thing at last week's planning?" Alex asks, diverting. Nicky just hums in response, like she isn't really listening. "Well. It's due _today_."

" _That_ thing?" says Nicky back, unusually unperturbed. "That was like _one_ interview."

"That ran for _one and a half hours,_ Jesus -- where were _you_ when I needed help with the transcription?"

"Oh come on, Alex -- luck of the draw." Nicky laughs, but at least it's thankfully short. Like at least Nicky cares about Alex's _feelings_ about transcription.  "Besides. I'm sure Bill wouldn't mind if it came in half an hour late."

"Sure, because I'd need more reasons for the managing ed to hate me."

"Bill doesn't hate you," says Nicky. _Just one of the many things she has wrong,_ Alex just thinks. "Anyway -- back to the point of this phone call. Second floor in five minutes. They're doing the whole Ask A Writer thing -- should be fun."

"Knock yourself out," Alex just says, laughing as she hangs up. _Interns,_ she just thinks, putting her earphones back on to listen to her recording for the nth time.  _I fucking needed you last week._

*

Alex hears all about it over lunch. She meets Nicky and Boo at the fifth floor conference room, which was thankfully empty.

"Your article done?" asks Boo, biting into her sandwich. Boo's in Motoring and they're closing their pages over the weekend too, whereas Nicky's with Tech, and they're not due until next week. Which explains Nicky's smug smile through it all.

"Sixty, seventy percent, maybe," says Alex, settling down in front of them. Today's lunch is a strange-looking tortilla that Alex does not remember ordering. "How's the orientation?"

Nicky smiles, glancing sideways at Boo, who just smirks right back. _This does not look good,_ Alex notes, lifting her brow slightly. "Orientation was _good_ ," says Nicky. Boo laughs out loud. "Really good, in that we're resurrecting the Bang Off."

"The what now?" Alex asks, laughing. If she meant _that_ Bang Off from a couple of years back -- well, Alex can't say she wasn't particularly invested in that round considering how heavily she'd participated in it at the time, and man, was that a disaster of epic proportions or what?

"You know _what now_ Vause," says Boo, waggling her eyebrows at her. "You in?"

"Oh God," says Alex, shaking her head. "Absolutely not. I'm--No, thank you."

"No, _thank you_?" Nicky repeats. "You haven't even _seen_ the interns we're having this intern season."

"They're practically _children_ , Nicky."

"Not to mention gorgeous," says Nicky.

Alex wipes at her lips with a napkin, ending her lunch. "And we all know how that turned out the last time, right."

"Splendid for me," says Boo. "What about you, Nicky?"

"Well," Nicky begins, threading her fingers together in mock serious thought. "Oh, right. I _won_ that round."

"You guys are sick," Alex says, though not unkindly; she's smiling as she stands and moves for the conference room door.

"And you were with us that time," Nicky calls out after her. "Don't you even deny having fun that year."

Oh, Alex remembers the fun -- everybody had been decidedly _younger_ then, and man, the things you could do with younger selves, younger bodies. Right now though, merely _thinking_ about all that is already exhausting on its own.

"Enjoy your lunch!" Alex just says back, closing the door behind her, wondering briefly where the time had gone.

*

When the interns finally enter the newsroom sometime in the mid-afternoon, Alex realizes how Nicky's assessment is pretty spot-on all along, and Alex finds herself gripping absently at a nearby desk to steady herself. _Children, Vause,_ she remembers to think. Besides, they all usually start with the City beats anyway before dispersing to their desks of choice. Boo and Nicky often get their fair share of interested interns, whereas Alex would be lucky to have _one_ who'd like to try out at Entrep for _two days_.

Truth: Business and entrepreneurship aren't exactly the sexiest and most interesting of things, but some days Alex feels like she's got all the wisdom of billionaire tycoons down pat in her head after all those interviews.

From where Alex is standing, she can see Nicky eyeing the doe-eyed Italian-looking one, her lips a startling shade of red. _High fashion desk, definitely,_ she just thinks, smiling to herself. _Good luck swinging that one to Tech._ Off the other side, Boo is holding her own pocket recruitment session with a couple of girls.

Alex is about to leave when Jenna from HR approaches her. "We were hoping we could ask a favor." 

"How may I help you?" she asks, keeping her tone level. For the most part, Alex is surprised.

"One of the interns asked to be assigned to Entrep. We're hoping you could accommodate her despite the short notice."

Alex blinks. "Are you even serious?"

Jenna looks over her shoulder and waves at one of the girls there -- a young blonde who's too pale for her own good. "She's pretty… dead-set."

Following her line of sight, Alex tries not to let out a low whistle. _Nicky and Boo would kill me_ , she thinks idly. "All right, I'll take her," she says, almost too quickly. She adjusts her glasses, flashing the new girl a smile. _Easy, Satan. We're all here for the learning experience, aren't we_?  "I mean -- sure. She looks… _eager_."

"That she is," Jenna says, tapping Alex's shoulder awkwardly. "Thanks, Vause." Jenna beckons the girl closer, who approaches quickly with hurried steps.

Alex breathes in, suddenly tense. "Hello," she says, extending a hand. "Alex Vause from Entrep." This close, Alex can see more clearly how the girl's smile is actually a bit nervous around the edges.  She hands her resume over before turning her face away shyly.

The girl's name is Piper Chapman. _Chapman. Shit._ Alex looks up, trying to hide her realization _. HR gave me Chapman's kid, for fuck's sake._ "So," she says instead, clearing her throat. "Piper, hm?"

Piper nods, pulling out a notepad and a pen out of her bag. "That's me," she says, breathing in. "Where do we start?"

 _Initiative,_ Alex notes, trying to curb her smile from getting any wider. When she looks around, she finds Nicky and Boo signaling slyly at her from the corner, and all she does is lift a brow at them, like she's saying, _Watch and learn ladies._

 _Or maybe not,_ Alex exhales. “How good are you at doing things simultaneously?”

*

“I think you should see the list,” is how Nicky approaches Alex first thing the following morning. Nicky ambushes her in the elevators, where Alex is only half-listening with an earphone in one ear playing an interview snippet she’s reviewing.

“What list?”

“ _The_ list,” says Nicky, flipping her binder open. “Guess which intern is worth the _most_ points?”

“Jesus Christ, Nicky,” Alex says, walking straight to her cubicle and tugging her earphone out of her ear. The buzz falls away from her mind and for a moment she manages to focus on Nicky’s grin. “Can we _not_ include me and my intern in this ridiculous list, because _I_ think my intern season is going to be a handful.”

“Is that, like, a metaphor?” Nicky asks, laughing. “Can I quote you on that?”

“Fuck off,” says Alex, laughing in kind. She has the most ridiculous co-workers, but truth is, she’s actually very fond of them. Even if they’re always up to things like this – or, perhaps, _especially_ because they’re always up to distasteful things like this. “Also, no, I do not wish to know which intern is worth the most points.”

Nicky shrugs, running a hand into her hair. “I will ignore that comment and proceed to say that it has since come to our attention that Chapman’s kid—”

“ _No_ ,” Alex says, pushing Nicky into her cubicle. “We are _not_ talking about Chapman’s kid, and we are _most definitely not_ putting her on that list. Are you fucking nuts?”

Nicky keeps her eyes on the list presumably written in her binder, chewing at the end of her pen. “No, not fucking, not yet,” she says cheekily, and Alex swats at her arm in response. “Also – how can we _resist_ putting Bill’s kid on this list? Come on, she’s not a minor, is she?”

“In case you’ve missed the memo, she is the managing editor’s daughter—”

“Who is hot, considering her father.”

“ _Jesus Christ._ ” Alex shakes her head, still laughing. “This is ridiculous. I’m out.”

“Suit yourself,” says Nicky, standing aside as Alex prepares to head out with her earphones and recorder in hand. “Chapman’s like, _fifty_ points. You could easily swing that. One girl, win everything.”

Stopping by the door to her cubicle, Alex just says, “Not a competition, Nicky.”

Nicky pouts, shutting her binder. “Where’s the fun in that?”

*

Piper comes in a little before eleven, all apologies. “I’m _so_ sorry,” she’s saying hurriedly, walking into Alex’s cubicle, her hands full. “It’s just that—this ridiculous thing, it was—” Alex just looks at her quietly, calmly swiveling her chair around to watch Piper make a mess of herself. “You’re not really going to believe anything I say, would you.”

“How about,” Alex begins, standing and taking Piper’s things out of her hand slowly. “We don’t discuss the morning traffic first thing and just off-set the whole time-thing for this afternoon?”

“You’d let me do that?”

“This isn’t prison,” Alex says. “But it does mean I’m moving your deadline to tonight.”

Piper lights up considerably, looking so relieved. “Of course,” she says, breathing out as she sits in the corner Alex has prepared for her in the section. “I’m actually sixty percent done.”

For someone who’s only begun transcribing an hour-long interview the day before, Alex finds this somewhat impressive. “Good,” she just says, adjusting her glasses. “You get to the part where she’s talking about dropping out already?”

Alex turns away just in time to catch the tail-end of Piper’s small smile. “Yeah,” she says, and Alex finds herself having to try harder to focus on her screen. _Chapman’s kid,_ she repeats in her head. “I don’t know why there aren’t more people lining up for this, because God, the people you get to talk to.”

“You like talking to people?”

“Most of the time,” says Piper. “Some people are more interesting to talk to than others, though.”

Alex chuckles at that. “Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose,” she says, turning back to her document. She plugs one earphone in and resumes her portion of the interview, jotting down notes and time stamps in her notebook. “Though I’m sure if you’ve got any interview requests, you could always tell your dad.”

The cubicle goes quiet as Piper stops typing. There’s a subtle shift in the air – subtle but nevertheless noticeable – in that Alex almost immediately regrets bringing it up. “Sorry kid,” she begins saying. “I didn’t mean—”

“Not that I wasn’t expecting you to know. After all, I handed you my resume. But my dad and I, we made it clear: No favors,” says Piper. “I hope you know I’m pretty set to do anything—”

“Wait--back up, Pipes,” says Alex, turning back around to face Piper. “I wasn’t saying anything like that--I just meant we could pitch your dream interview story or whatever. Like, a totally legit assignment. That’s all.”

"Oh," Piper says, hanging her head. "I--um."

"Look, let's forget I said anything, okay?" Alex offers. "You want to try storifying your end of the transcript?"

“Are you serious?”

“Are you committing insubordination just now?” And then, off Piper’s paling face, Alex is quick to add: “I’m just messing with you.” In the end, Alex is unable to keep her laugh in. “Jesus, Chapman.”

Piper cringes, blushing furiously. “I’m literally _days_ old here, Alex – Ms Vause – god, what do I even call you?”

“Call me Ms Vause again and I will _fire_ you.”

Piper nods, despite the obvious confusion on her face. “All right. _Alex._ Cut me some slack here, will you?”

“So you’re not up for it?” Alex leans back, noting the smile that’s slowly returning to Piper’s face. _Damn,_ she finds herself thinking, for a moment distracted. _The girl’s a looker, fine._ She hates it when Nicky’s right.

“No, I want to, but—”

“Nobody gets it right the first time. I don’t expect you to.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Alex laughs. “Not what I meant, but suit yourself.” Piper makes a face before breaking out into a small laugh as well. “Listen, just -- get it done, turn it over, then we’ll see.”

“Like, the raw transcript _and_ story tonight, or—”

“Get to work, kid,” Alex says, turning back around and putting both her earbuds on.

*

“You guys planning to starve yourselves to death or can we interest you in lunch?”

Alex tugs at her earphones as she looks up at Nicky, who’s standing by the door to her cubicle with Boo, mischief written all over their faces. _Here we go._

“Piper,” Alex begins, clearing her throat. “You know Nicky and Boo from Tech and Motoring.”

It takes a moment before Piper catches on, engrossed as she was in her corner. “Hi,” she says when she comes to, turning around to flash them an innocent smile. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Nicky glances over at Alex knowingly as she says, “The pleasure’s ours. Lunch?”

The word seems to throw Piper off, who checks her wristwatch out in a mild panic. “Shit, what time is it?”

“Let’s take a break,” Alex says, watching Piper fumble for her phone. By the cubicle entrance, Nicky is motioning for Alex to invite Piper along. _Jesus,_ Alex thinks. _That fucking list._ “Listen kid, you could join us if you want.”

“Oh,” Piper says, distracted. “Sorry, I can’t – I’m meeting someone.”

“Boyfriend?” asks Boo.

Piper looks up from her phone for a moment, smiling. “Best friend duties. She’s interning a couple of buildings from here and we thought it’d be fun to have lunch together. Big girls in the city – you know how it goes. Corny, right?”

Alex feels herself exhaling, relieved to know that Piper has _plans._ “Not at all,” says Alex, standing and getting her purse. “See you back here by 1:30?”

“I won’t take long,” says Piper, pocketing her phone as she slips between Nicky and Boo. “I’m so sorry I can’t join today. Tomorrow, maybe?”

“You’re welcome any time,” says Nicky, following Piper with her eyes as she walks out. Then, turning to Alex after Piper disappears from Nicky’s line of sight: “So. You seem to be getting along.”

Alex shakes her head, chuckling low. “I know where this is going, and the answer is still no,” she tells Nicky, who gives her that trademark _Who, me?_ look that gets her off the hook every time.

“Fine,” says Boo. “We’ll just have to make up our own bet about you then.”

“Oh _Jesus Christ._ ”

“A hundred bucks saying Alex gets the girl by the end of intern season,” says Nicky. Boo considers for a moment before shrugging and shaking Nicky’s hand. “That’s it,” says Nicky, sitting down. “That’s the bet.”

 _That’s it,_ Alex thinks, reminding herself that intern season is only about five months long. “Knock yourselves out,” she tells them, grinning into her sandwich.


	2. you're an acquired taste

Piper is already halfway through her pasta when Polly arrives twenty minutes late for their lunch appointment, but she looks so harried that Piper cannot find it in herself to be mad.

“I am so _so_ sorry,” says Polly as she takes a seat across Piper. “It’s just – what a day this has been.”

“It’s all right,” says Piper. “I got til 1:30.”

“Jesus – what time is it?” Polly asks, pulling out her sandwich. Piper lifts her watch toward Polly, and Polly goes, “Shit. I have to be back in fifteen.”

“ _Seriously?_ ”

“Not everybody’s interning in daddy’s office, Piper.”

“ _Hey._ ”

“Sorry,” says Polly. “I didn’t mean that. It’s just – people could be so _so_ horrible.”

Piper blinks. Sure, many times she’s wondered if people were only nice to her because of her dad, but some of them – Alex, in particular – really feel somewhat authentic. “Sorry to hear,” she offers. “Give it time? Maybe people will warm up to you in time.”

Polly just shakes her head. “I want this over with. Seriously. Maybe I’m better off making scented soap or something.”

“I have nothing against scented soap,” says Piper. “But give it time, okay? You’re... an acquired taste.”

“Gee, thanks Piper,” Polly says, rolling her eyes. Piper just laughs. “You know what the saddest thing is? That is actually _not_ the creepiest thing that’s been said to me today.”

Piper makes a face. “I’m afraid to even ask about it.”

“One of the older accountants kept passing by my cube, singing some random song and asking me if I knew what its title was.”

“So it’s like being stuck in a musical, only with more older men?” asks Piper and Polly just nods, speed eating her sandwich. “I have no words for how sorry I am, really.”

Polly takes a moment to finish her food, and Piper’s actually amazed to find that she could actually eat that fast. “Enough about me, I’m depressing,” Polly says. “How’s daddy’s office?”

It’s Piper’s turn to roll her eyes. “Thanks for asking, but I’m interning _not_ in my dad’s office per se, but in one of the paper’s Biz sections.”

“Biz? Posh,” says Polly. “How’s your boss?”

“Alex? She’s pretty chill.”

Polly raises a brow at that, in a way that tells Piper that she’s intrigued. “Seeing that you’re on first name basis already, I am not surprised.”

“Well, she did threaten to fire me if I called her _Ms Vause_ ever again, so.”

Polly actually giggles into the last of her sandwich. “How cool is her name, huh?”

“I _know_ ,” says Piper, trying to keep the flutter in her chest out of her voice. “Kinda digging the drug dealer vibe to it, know what I mean?”

“ _Piper_ ,” Polly says. “I know that tone.”

“What tone?” Piper asks, her eyes going wide anyhow.

“Come on, make it quick,” says Polly, glancing at the clock. “I have five minutes. Spill.”

“Are you insane, Polly? Alex is my _boss._ ”

“And Alex’s boss is your _dad_ ,” Polly says, dabbing at her lips with a napkin. “Also, I did not hear any assertion that this Alex person is not hot, which probably explains the blush you’ve had on since I first saw you in this lunch table.”

“It is _warm_ out,” Piper says, touching her cheek gingerly. “I have a _blush?_ ”

“Yep.” Polly stands and leans in to plant a kiss on Piper’s cheek. “I have to go. Please stay out of trouble.”

*

Piper spends the rest of the day jumpy, suddenly overly aware of everything – the tattoo on Alex’s left wrist, the rich depth of her voice, the way she is so tall _all the time_ , and _Jesus,_ Piper thinks; she really hates it when Polly is right.

“Chapman? Hello?”

Piper blinks. _Shit._ “I—sorry.” Piper turns away as she fumbles for the words, wondering if she’s got _that_ blush again.

Alex laughs, that low rumbling sound, and something clenches in the pit of Piper’s stomach. “I was asking how your article’s coming along.”

“It’s coming—” Piper coughs out, all the air stuck in her throat. “Coming along just fine.”

Narrowing her eyes at Piper, Alex asks: “Are you all right? You seem to be...” Alex trails off briefly, gesturing at Piper with a hand. “ _Twitchy_. Too much coffee?”

 _That’s exactly what it is._ “Maybe. Or one of the things I had for lunch. Polly’s... weird.”

“Weird. Right.” Alex smiles as she turns back to her computer. “Back to work, kid. I expect a draft by seven.”

Piper looks at her watch: Five thirty. Polly’s on her way home by now, perhaps. Right on cue, her phone vibrates with an incoming message. _Putting in overtime for your hot drug dealer?_

 _Fuck you,_ Piper texts back succinctly, tossing the phone back into her bag. Behind her, Alex’s chair creaks as she takes in a long, deep breath. Piper holds hers, looking over her shoulder just in time to see Alex stretching, pushing her arms up and rolling her shoulders.

 _This is not creepy at all, Piper,_ she tells herself, returning to her article. Truth be told, her confidence has been building since she started; after all, she isn’t going to get this right however she tries, right? Nobody does, so might as well just wing it.

She goes at it for an hour, earphone plugged in one ear, and the other listening for Alex’s instructions. Alex just continues typing in the background, the sound of her keystrokes filling the air. At this time of the night, their wing is still somewhat busy; somewhere, Piper can hear someone stopping and starting a tape recorder, and she wonders how there are still people who use these decidedly archaic devices, when they could easily record things on their iPhone.

“Hey Alex,” she finds herself whispering. “How do I send this to you?”

“Why are you whispering?” Alex whispers back before laughing out loud. “Is this a secret?”

“Shut up,” Piper says, laughing in kind. Looking at Alex this way, Piper thinks about how Alex could actually be this huge child, after all. “What’s your email?”

“Now you’re just hitting on me,” says Alex, biting her lip as she hands Piper her card.

Piper swings her chair around, feeling a warmth wrap around her neck. _Now I’m definitely blushing._ She lays the card right on the table, just below her keyboard, and types in the address with shaky hands. To calm herself down, she thinks about Polly, but then she ends up thinking about how she’s about to tell Polly about this night, and that doesn’t help at all.

 _Goddamnit,_ she’d probably begin, _Even her email address is sexy._

Piper is jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of Alex shutting down her computer. “Hey Chapman,” she says, just as Piper hits send. “I’ll read your work over dinner and drinks. There’s this bar across the road—”

“Queens,” says Piper, nodding. “The occasional burlesque show. I remember quite vividly that one night in our household.”

Alex laughs. “I think I remember the night you mean,” she says. “In any case – if you’re thinking of following, _don’t_ bring your dad. Clear?”

“Clear,” Piper replies instantly. And then, realizing what Alex had just implied, Piper makes a face. “Why would I even _think_ about doing that though?”

Alex shrugs her jacket on, flipping her hair from under it before adjusting her bag over her shoulder. Piper holds her breath throughout the exercise: Like this, Alex looks decidedly _younger_ , like someone just out of college, and when Alex fixes her glasses right there, Piper feels her mouth go dry. _Remember to ask how old she is next time,_ she thinks to herself.

“Just covering all the bases,” Alex says. “So.”

“Yeah,” Piper manages, after a while. “I’ll—thanks for today.”

Alex looks at her, for a moment confused. “Stay weird, Pipes,” she just says, before walking out.

Alone in their cube, Piper stares as the “Message sent” pop-up appears on her screen. _Shit,_ she thinks, replaying in her head their last exchange _.  Could that have been any less embarrassing?_

Right then, her phone starts buzzing in her bag, and Piper scrambles for it, jolted. It’s Polly. “I’m off work,” says Piper immediately. “Just now. Actually.”

Polly laughs. “So am I,” she says. “I need a drink.”

The first word to Piper’s mind is _Queens._ She bites down on her lip for a moment, hesitating. _Oh, fuck it._ “There’s a bar across our building—”

“ _Queens_?” asks Polly, incredulous. Piper rolls her eyes as she pins her phone between shoulder and ear, trying to get her bag in order. “Wasn’t that the bar your mom and dad fought about once?”

Piper laughs. “Well, yes.”

“Is there a _burlesque_ show on tonight, because I swear to God, Piper, I just need a drink.”

“I don’t know, actually,” says Piper, preparing to leave anyhow. Truth be told, she’ll be a little heartbroken if Polly doesn’t say yes.  _But just a little. Right?_ “But wouldn’t you like to know what the fuss was all about?”

“Of course _not_ ,” Polly says. “Besides. We’ll just get hit on by old men your dad’s age, and I have had _enough_ old men for today. Seriously, Piper.”

“But what if I told you,” Piper begins. _Here we go._ “That’s where Alex and the other younger editors are going tonight?”

There’s a quiet pause on Polly’s end, and Piper holds her breath. “This Alex person and her friends better be an attractive bunch,” Polly says finally. “Meet you at your lobby.”

*

Piper checks the door before entering. “See,” she tells Polly. “Burlesque is not until a couple of days from now.”

“Let me calendar that, so I’ll know when _not_ to have drinks with you,” says Polly, pushing at the door tentatively.

Inside, the bar is warm, and Piper’s first instinct is to shrug off her coat. Polly finds a table and takes off her blazer in kind. “It’s not too bad,” Piper says. “What are you having?”

“A mojito, probably,” Polly says. “Do we go to the bar, or—”

“I’m not sure, actually,” says Piper, distracted. She’s already seen where Alex and the rest of them are at, and her insides feel like they’re being twisted tight. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’ve seen them,” Polly says, grabbing at Piper’s wrist. “Come _on_ , start pointing.”

“ _Wait,_ ” says Piper, spotting Alex standing. _God that woman is so tall._ “I’ll be right back.” She wriggles out of Polly’s grasp with a small laugh before heading to the bar, trying not to follow after Alex so closely. _She’ll think I’m a stalker,_ Piper thinks, hesitating half-way through.

She hasn’t even reached the bar yet when Alex spots her. “What do we have here,” she tells Piper, putting an arm around her shoulder casually. Piper freezes at the contact, surprised. “You drinking alone, kid?”

“N-no,” Piper says, shaking her head and hating her stutter. “I’m with someone.”

“Oh,” Alex says, pulling her hand back to herself, just as casually. _Damn it, Piper. Why can’t you say anything right around this person?_ “I hope it’s not your dad though? Because I specifically told you—”

Piper laughs, a little too loudly to be normal. “Yes. I mean – no, not my dad. Because yes, you specifically told me. I’m here with Polly.” Piper turns her head, waiting to catch Polly’s eye. She finds Polly looking back at her expectantly. “She’s over there.”

Piper holds her breath as Alex turns around and nods toward Polly’s general direction. Polly smiles and waves right back. _Please be normal. Please._ “Well, Nicky and Boo are over there,” Alex says in turn, and when Piper looks over, they’re already smiling at her, like they’d been waiting. “You girls don’t have to join us, but what are you having? We’ll send some over.”

“No, we’re okay,” Piper says, but then when the bartender comes along, Alex decides to stay, smiling at Piper as she waits for her order. _This charming fucker,_ Piper notes. “A margarita and a mojito, please,” she tells him, before turning back to Alex. “I guess you have your answer.”

“I guess I do.” And then, after lingering for a bit: “I should probably get back.”

“Yeah – sorry to keep you from your... _thing_.”

“All right,” Alex says, lifting her mugs of beer off the bar. “Later, kid.” Piper takes a moment to watch her go, feeling herself let out a long, shaky breath. _Shit. This is what I think this is, isn’t it._

Back at their table, as Piper hands Polly her drink, Polly goes: “Your sort of boss is sort of hot.”

“Jesus Christ, Polly.” Piper rolls her eyes, though she knows Polly can tell she’s blushing anyway. “I know, right,” she concedes, sipping from her margarita. “I shouldn’t be even thinking about this. I’m going to be assigned to her over the next few months!”

“Then have yourself transferred,” Polly says, poking into her drink intently. “I mean, don’t interns get reshuffled every now and then?”

Piper thinks about it; the thought gives her a sinking feeling. “But why would I want to do that to myself?” she asks, glancing over at their table, where Alex is laughing at Nicky, currently animatedly telling a story with full gestures.  “I mean. It’s just a _crush_. It’d pass.”

“Sure,” Polly just says, drinking up. Piper knows what she’s thinking; she knows, just by looking at the way she’d pursed her lips around the word.

“You’re thinking I’m shallow,” says Piper.

“I wasn’t saying anything.”

“You were pursing your lips that way.”

“In _what_ way?”

Piper tries to imitate the gesture, and Polly laughs out loud. “Never mind – I’m just saying. She’s nice to look at, fine, but she also seems... very intelligent.”

“You don’t have to defend your taste in women to me,” says Polly. “God, did I just say that out loud? Your taste in _women_?”

Polly’s not exactly narrow-minded, but Piper understands how Polly could be confused; after all, she’s confused herself. “I’m not—are there rules? I like hot guys, and apparently, I also like hot girls. You’re right, I _am_ shallow.”

“Still – your word, not mine,” says Polly. Right then, one of the wait staff comes round to their table to serve them another round of drinks. “Piper?”

Piper smiles as she looks over at Alex’s table; Nicky and Boo are also looking her way, flashing her thumbs up signs. _These dorks._ Meanwhile, Alex just adjusts her glasses at her, elbow on the table. With her sleeve rolled up, Piper notices for the first time the shadow of another tattoo on her right arm. _Jesus. Can this woman just not._ “Thank you,” she mouths right at them, before turning to Polly. “It’s from Alex.”

“What, she’s trying to get you drunk already?” Polly teases. “Anyway. I like her better already than that last guy – I don’t even remember his name.”

“Andy? No, _Danny._ I guess?”

“Whatever, I like this Alex person. She seems... fun.”

Piper sighs, trying not to stare too hard at the tattoo peeking from under Alex’s shirt. “I’m getting my first draft handed back to me tomorrow, though,” she says, moving for her second margarita. “Let’s wait a bit about that fun part, shall we?”


	3. queens

Nicky shoots Alex a confused look the minute she comes back to their table with the beer, but not Piper.

“Vause. Seriously?” says Nicky, eyes wide with that trademark disappointment. “Come the fuck on.”

“What?” Alex hands them their drinks before sitting down, smiling to herself. Boo only lets out a low chuckle as she drinks.

“Couldn’t you have at least invited the girls over for a proper round of drinks?” asks Nicky. Alex shrugs, pushing the beer into Nicky’s hand. “God Vause, if I were still in the running for those fifty points—”

“Nicky,” Alex says, lifting her beer to her lips. “There’s _no_ fifty points. Piper is _not_ on that list.” She looks at Nicky as she takes a swig. “Besides, she said hi.”

“Yeah, from a couple of yards out, on what planet is that an acceptable hi?”

Alex laughs. She knows what Nicky’s doing, of course – this is all worth a hundred dollars, if she remembers correctly from their last conversation. Might as well play along for a bit and make it more enjoyable. _Torturous._ Beside Nicky, Boo just keeps drinking quietly. Status quo means she wins; no use rocking the boat.

“Listen, Alex,” says Nicky, shifting in her seat. That usually signals one of those lengthy drunken pontificating segments, and Alex just sits back, breathing in. “Suppose that we completely disregard the fact that Piper is her father’s daughter--”

“And I repeat: In case you missed the memo, that’s actually the _biggest_ thing about her,” Alex says.

Nicky raises a hand. “No, listen – just. Hear me out for a bit, will ya?” Alex nods, gesturing for Nicky to continue. “Thank you. I was saying – that taken out of the equation, the girl’s your type, isn’t she? Innocent and wide-eyed blondes, isn’t that your specialty?”

“Fuck off,” Alex says, sticking her tongue out at her. “I’m—I _have_ graduated from the whole corrupting young innocents gig, okay? And I am absolutely done with straight girls. Like, seriously.”

“Seriously?” Boo asks without looking up from her drink.

“I’ve seen the look on her Vause,” says Nicky. “And that girl is _definitely_ negotiable – if you know what I mean.”

“Have you even seen a girl who isn’t _negotiable_ , Nicky?” Alex teases, and Nicky shoves her lightly from across the table. “Also: Really, guys, you know me. I’m _not_ interested.”

“I saw you put your arm around her shoulder earlier,” Nicky points out.

“It was _friendly,_ Christ,” Alex counters. “Can’t a girl have a new friend?”

“We’re friends, but you don’t casually put your arm around me or anything,” Boo interjects, and Nicky laughs out even louder, the two of them high-fiving each other in between bursts. Alex can’t help but shake her head at the ridiculous way this conversation is unravelling. _My friends are insane,_ she just thinks, laughing along.

“Okay, _supposing_ she isn’t Chapman’s kid – she’s still interning under me. I am still technically her superior, and have I told you how done I am with the whole teacher-student thing? I am. _Really._ ”

“You should consider shifting to contact lenses, because Christ Vause, have you seen yourself?” Nicky asks, grinning at her like a madwoman. Alex rolls her eyes, removing her glasses out of habit and wiping them. “You’re like a fucking magnet. You draw these types, get what I mean?”

Alex blinks, putting her glasses back on. “Well then. Not my fault anymore, is it?” She arches her brow at Nicky and Nicky laughs out even louder, head thrown back.

“You smug bitch,” Nicky says, all too fondly.

“I know, right,” Alex just replies, drinking up.

*

“You know what?” Nicky says after finishing her beer. “We should totally send some drinks over.”

Alex nods, drumming her fingers on the table. This night has her intoxicated in ways other than beer, and truth be told, she has missed this sort of buzz. _Wrong on many levels, but still – just for tonight, yeah?_ “You’re right,” she tells Nicky, reaching for her wallet and calling for one of the wait staff. “We should totally. They’re drinking margaritas and mojitos.”

“Jesus,” Boo laughs. “How predictable.”

Alex shrugs, whispering the orders to the guy who comes over and slipping him some cash. She points over to Piper, who’s having an intense conversation with Polly at the moment. Alex notes the way Piper talks with her hands. _How adorable_ , she catches herself thinking. And then, _How drunk am I already? Damn._

“You’re staring, Vause,” says Nicky, elbow digging into her side.

“What?” Alex feigns inattentiveness. If all else fails, she could always say she was too drunk to know better. The three of them stare at Piper’s table, waiting for their surprise drinks to be served, holding their breath throughout.

“Here we go,” Boo mutters under her breath as the waiter finally arrives with their drinks. Piper’s friend is confused, whereas Piper knows almost immediately where to turn.

“Score,” Nicky says, ecstatic. She and Boo flash their thumbs up signs toward Piper, whereas Alex tries her hardest not to blush, smiling at her anyhow and fiddling with her glasses. _It’s the drinks,_ Alex tells herself. _It will all look different in the morning._

When Piper turns back to Polly, Alex lets out a breath. “We need more beer,” she says, blinking. Nicky thumps her on the back, getting up from her chair.

“This round’s on me,” says Nicky, heading to the bar.

When Nicky’s out of earshot, Boo leans in toward Alex, tone hushed. “Don’t tell Nichols, but honestly? I’ll just be as glad to lose this bet. I mean, look at _her_ ,” Boo says, nodding toward Piper.

Alex leans back into her chair, shaking her head. _Shit,_ she thinks. _Now that’s two against one._ She says nothing, but the nervous laugh that finds its way out of her mouth says volumes anyhow.

Boo shakes her head in kind, grinning at her like she’s saying, _You are so fucked, Vause._  “Scratch that,” she says, waving her palm at Alex’s face. “Look at _you._ ”

“Fuck off,” Alex just says, laughing as she tries to push Boo’s hand away.

“What? You voodoo-ing the shit out of this bet now, Boo?” asks Nicky, lowering their beers on the table. “I don’t think you can voodoo your way to victory on this one.”

“Too late,” says Boo. “She’s already _bewitched_.”

Nicky laughs into her drink. “Ooh, nice one,” she says, moving for a high-five.

 _God, this is going to be a long night,_ Alex thinks, focusing on her beer instead.

*

When Alex gets to the office the following morning, Piper is already there. Alex squints at her, like she’s too bright to look at. “Someone’s early,” Alex says at the cubicle’s entrance, trying her best version of a sober individual. _These old bones_ , she can’t help but think. There used to be a time when it was much easier to bounce back from an all-nighter with Nicky and Boo.

“Morning,” says Piper, a cup of coffee in each hand. “Do you coffee? I get how some people do not coffee when hungover—”

“Girl, I _coffee_ ,” says Alex, taking one. “Though really, that is how you kids ask people now if they like coffee in the morning?”

“Sorry,” Piper says. “It’s a Polly thing.”

“You always blame Polly for your missing verbs?”

“Are you always this ungrateful in the morning?” Piper asks, her tone light and teasing, and _God_ , Alex thinks, _Did I really expect things to look different after last night?_

“ _Thank you,_ Piper,” she says, taking a tentative sip. The coffee is black and solid and absolutely heavenly. "Not to perpetuate this whole stereotype where the intern does nothing but make coffee, but _damn,_ if this is how you make coffee--"

“I love making coffee,” says Piper. “I could always make two.”

“You would?” Alex smiles. “Are you bribing me into something, Chapman?”

“What? No, absolutely not,” says Piper, smiling right back. “Or maybe a little? What did you think of my piece?”

Alex lifts her cup to her lips and breathes in before sipping. “How about we finish our coffee first?” she says, motioning toward Piper’s cup. “You like to hit the ground running when you’re hungover too?”

Piper sits back, lifting her cup in kind. “Please, I had like, three margaritas. I am _not_ hungover. And I got in before midnight.”

“Good girl,” Alex laughs. “At least we’re not getting on daddy’s bad side that way.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Piper says, pursing her lips. “Can we at least, for the duration of this internship, conveniently forget that I’m related to anyone here?”

 _Girl, you don’t know what you’re asking for,_ Alex thinks. “Trust me. We’ve all been trying,” she says instead.  “Besides – I’m kidding, all right? You shouldn’t take any of it too seriously.”

“It’s just—I knew this was a bad idea, actually,” Piper says, staring into her coffee. “But I think I could be good at this—I think this is something I can actually do well. You ever get that feeling?”

Alex leans back, finishing her coffee in silence. Right here, it’s like she’s seeing Piper for the first time – all naive hopes and big dreams. _Lucky you,_ she thinks, remembering Bill in his office, and all the doors he can open on his daughter’s behalf. _Or maybe not, who knows._ When Piper finishes her coffee, she takes a moment to just stare off into the mid-distance for a bit, looking somewhat _lost_. Like this, Alex thinks, Piper looks actually _burdened_ by the possibilities.

Alex clears her throat. “You all right kid?”

“Yeah,” Piper blinks, straightening herself. “Coffee okay?”

“Tolerable,” says Alex, tilting her head and winking at her. Piper just makes a face in response. “You ready for my suggested revisions?”

Piper breathes out, rubbing her palms together. “Nervous, actually. But yeah.” Alex reaches into her bag and retrieves Piper’s draft, marked in red pen along the margins. “Oh god,” Piper says. “You’re one of those?”

“Yep,” Alex says, adjusting her glasses as she lays the draft on the table. “Come closer.” Piper drags her chair over eagerly, shoulder bumping against Alex’s in the process. “ _Easy._ ”

“Sorry.” Piper leans in closer, and Alex tries not to notice too much, like how Piper still smells like fresh mornings tinged with caffeine. _Easy,_ she tells herself this time around. “How much of it did I get wrong?”

“Not too much,” Alex says, swallowing hard. When she looks up, Piper’s already there, too close to be comfortable, and Alex steps back a bit, trying for some space. Suddenly, the air’s somewhat thick and difficult. She lets out a small cough. “But I do have some arguments about the reconstruction of some quotes.”

“Oh,” Piper says, lips wrapping around the sound. _Stop that,_ Alex thinks. “I’m sorry, I tried to be as faithful as possible, but some parts had to be re-worded and some of the verbatim stuff just sound so _awful_ —”

“Sometimes when we hate people we keep the grammatical errors in and just put ‘sic’ all over the place,” says Alex, managing a grin, enclosing the word ‘sic’ in imaginary parentheses.

Piper is confused for a moment before, “Is that what we’re doing here now?” she asks, dropping her voice. “Do we _hate_ this interviewee?”

“Well,” Alex begins. “She’s the CEO of the city’s biggest real estate development, not to mention one of our bigger advertisers – no Piper, we don’t hate her,” she says, laughing softly. “Which is also why we have to be extra careful about our quotes. All right?”

Piper nods, extra vigorously. “Of course,” she’s saying, leaning even closer. “I understand. How do I proceed?”

“We go back to the transcript,” Alex says, encircling a huge chunk of text toward the bottom of the page. “Especially this part where it says something about the board’s sentiments when she was appointed last year. We should definitely attribute some of these things to her in a direct quote.”

Alex notes a ghost of a flinch crossing Piper’s face. “But that’s where the statement gets a bit awkward. If it had been quotable, I would have--”

“Let’s see that transcript,” Alex says.

Piper sighs, pushing away from Alex’s table to get to her own station. _Headstrong and combative,_ Alex thinks. _Not bad at all, Bill._

“That part should be about here,” says Piper, coming back with a sheaf of papers – well-worn printouts that Alex notes with slight amusement. “She kind of rambled.”

“It was a touchy subject,” says Alex, taking the papers from Piper’s hands. “I expected that. It was a big issue then, and it seems like it’s still a big issue now.” She takes her pen to the page and draws a line along the margin to mark the quote. “We’ll lift some of this – the sensible parts, at least. I think you should also put some of those _pauses_ in, know what I’m saying? Her stutter in some places is perfectly audible.”

“I—” Piper hesitates. “I’m not sure how to pull that off.”

Alex raises her brow at that. “Fine. I’ll do that part; can you just revise this to reflect these corrections?” Piper just takes her draft in hand and looks at it with a sort of relief, saying nothing. “Questions, Chapman?”

Piper shakes her head slowly, retreating to her station. “No, I—” she trails off, eyes running over all the marks Alex left on her paper. “I’m fine,” she says instead, squaring her shoulders like she’s getting ready for a fight. “I got this.”

*

Alex waits for Piper to pause for lunch, but with the way she’s so focused on just _going_ , Alex might as well just leave her alone. “Hey Pipes,” she calls out, cracking her knuckles. “You want anything to eat?”

“Hm?”

“I was just about to go out for lunch, can I get you anything?” Alex is already standing by their cubicle’s exit when she finally catches Piper’s attention. “You seemed to be... in the _zone_. Didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Sorry, I—yeah,” Piper says, blinking. “Thanks, I’m fine. You go ahead; I think I’ll just go later or something.”

“Come on—for the coffee. Get you a sandwich or something. I’ll probably be eating back here anyhow.”

“What about Nicky and Boo?” asks Piper.

“We were together just last night. I could use some space,” Alex says, smiling. “So. Sandwich?”

Piper stands and stretches, fishing her phone out of her bag. “I could use some air. Mind if I come with you?”

Alex freezes for a moment; she hadn’t expected Piper to actually want to haul her ass off her chair, and _now_ it feels like she’d just backed herself into this corner. _A good-looking corner, but still._ Alex shrugs. “Sure,” she says, trying to be nonchalant. “Ready when you are.”

The walk over to the sandwich shop is quiet. Piper seems lost in her own thoughts throughout, eyes fixed on the pavement, her hands in her pockets. Alex starts to wonder if it’s something she’s said. _Don’t be ridiculous. It’s called character building._

At the street corner, she touches the small of Piper’s back briefly, like she’s saying, _This way._ Almost, it feels like Piper stiffens under the touch, so Alex quickly withdraws her hand as soon as they make the final turn toward the store around the corner. Having left a few minutes ahead of everybody else’s lunch time, they find that the shop is thankfully not yet full, and for that Alex is glad. At least, they don't have to stand in line for too long.

It takes all of eight minutes, yet to Alex it feels much longer, with Piper feeling so _unsettled_ right beside her. “You’re quiet,” she says, breaking the silence when they’re on their way back to their building, sandwiches in hand. “Anything I can help with?”

Piper shakes her head. “No—sorry. It’s just a ridiculous headache.”

“We have a clinic on the third floor—”

“I’ll be fine,” says Piper, pushing the building’s door open when they get there. “I’ll eat, then I’ll be okay.”

“Suit yourself,” says Alex.

Alex eats lunch in front of her computer, like she’s always done when on deadline, careful not to make too much of a mess over her keyboard, crumbs and all. Behind her, she tries to keep track of Piper’s movements _without_ turning around and actually letting her know she’s keeping an eye on her.  

“Is it always this quiet around here during lunch time?” asks Piper finally, out of the blue. Alex turns around slowly, chair creaking.

“Kind of,” says Alex. “A little bit in love with this quiet though. I mean, aren’t you?”

Piper smiles. “When I grow up, I wanna have a cubicle just like this,” she says. “I can actually _sleep_ for half an hour after a quick lunch. How convenient.”

“I try sleeping here,” says Alex, fiddling with her mouse absently. “It always gives me deadline-related nightmares – I actually dream up _entire_ first paragraphs. It’s more exhausting than refreshing.”

“Interesting,” says Piper, leaning back into her seat. She’s still halfway through her sandwich, whereas Alex has already finished hers. “And when you’re not sleeping in the office, what do you dream of?”

 _For someone who’s got a headache, she asks some good questions,_ Alex thinks, brow lifted. “Well,” she begins, pushing her glasses up over her forehead. “You want the long story, or the short one?”

“We got time,” Piper says.

 _Something safe,_ Alex tells herself, reaching for her glasses and wiping them. _Nothing too revealing._ “Places, mostly,” she says. “Guess which section I initially applied for?”

“Ah, of course,” Piper says. “I didn’t think the travel section was accepting interns _at all_ , so I didn’t even try.”

“They’re not,” Alex says, smiling. “But I thought you were pretty dead-set on Entrep? Oh my god -- did you actually get HR to _lie_ for you?” Alex asks, feigning offense, a hand to her chest.

Piper laughs, and Alex feels herself exhaling a bit in relief at the sound. “I heard the competition for slots wasn’t going to be that stiff,” Piper says. Alex just raises her brow at her. “Too soon?”

“Too soon,” Alex says, though her stern look is betrayed by the laugh that keeps trying to get to the surface. “Suppose a slot magically opens for Travel section intern – you’d take it?”

“Only if the editor’s half as cool as you,” Piper says instantly, and in that moment Alex feels all too warm in a way that she hasn’t in a long time. _Oh,_ she just finds herself thinking, turning away from Piper.

“Well then,” says Alex, when she finally manages it. “Let’s just hope they never ask for interns, because that woman handling Travel is _definitely_ cooler than I am.”

“Really? You worked together before?”

“We had a thing.” It rolls off her tongue just like that, and Alex barely had the chance to edit it out.

“Excuse me?”

 _Whatever happened to ‘nothing too revealing’ Vause?_ Alex bites down on the tip of her tongue briefly. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. Can we go back to the original question?”

“But this is a much interesting question,” Piper says. “What is she like?”

“She _was_ fantastic,” Alex says, relenting. “That’s all I’m going to say about her.”

“If she was fantastic, then why did it end?”

Alex laughs, turning back around to face Piper. “Are we seriously having this conversation over lunch? Because I’m not having this conversation without alcohol.”

“We’re allowed to drink in the middle of the day?”

“ _Piper_ ,” says Alex, though now that she mentions it, it just sounds all the more appealing. “As I’m sure you know, drinking in the middle of the day does wonders to your subject-verb agreement.”

Piper just gives her a look that says, _Did you actually just say that?_ “How about tonight then?”

“Are you asking me out to drinks just now?”

Piper pauses, like she’s thinking about it. There’s this panicked look that briefly ghosts across her face that Alex surprisingly adores, and Alex thinks, _Fuck, this does not bode well at all, does it?_ “Yes,” Piper says, breathing out. “Please don’t make me ask again.”

“All right,” Alex says, trying her best not to laugh out loud. “First round’s on me.” And then, “Provided we finish tonight. I was thinking we could turn in a draft for your dad’s initial comments before leaving.”

“Of course.” Piper finishes her sandwich off, wiping at her lips with a napkin before crumpling the wrappers and tossing them into the bin. “I was almost done anyway. Sorry I—there were too many mistakes I could have caught if I was just more careful, and—”

“Don’t worry about it, Pipes,” says Alex. “Really. That’s what editors are for, but the effort’s always appreciated.”

Right on cue, the lights come on a bit brighter as people start going back into the cubicles, signalling the end of lunch time. The wing gets a bit noisier, and Piper retreats to her own corner with a small smile.

“And now, for the rest of this day,” she just says to Alex before turning back around to face her computer.

 _Right._ Alex takes a moment to stare at the back of Piper’s chair. Truth be told, all she can think about is Queens.


	4. the richness of human experience

“You what?”

Piper’s pacing in the ladies room when she finally makes the phone call to Polly that she had wanted to make since lunch time, and really, nothing feels remotely better than having Polly’s incredulous voice in her ear after six hours of waiting.

“I asked her out to drinks tonight,” Piper says. “God it’s so weird to actually say that out loud and hear myself.”

“Can you repeat that part where she actually tells you she’s into girls? She _dated_ the Travel ed?”

“She said they had a _thing_. That’s what it means, right? Or did she actually mean she had this completely _platonic_ thing with a fellow female editor?”

“Well, the richness of human experience—”

“Don’t start with me,” Piper interrupts. “Jesus. I’m falling apart. Are you _sure_ you cannot make it tonight?”

“Oh hon, I’m so _sorry,_ ” Polly says. “If I could get out of it I would. I mean, your first date sounds infinitely more interesting than this thing I have to do for work.”

Piper forces herself to keep breathing. “It is _not_ a date. It’s just drinks.”

“Fine, your first non-date then -- keep telling yourself that.” 

Piper pouts at the mirror, fixing her hair. “I need you to be supportive,” she says, pinning her phone between her shoulder and ear. “Tell me to calm down.”

“Calm down, Piper,” Polly complies. “You can do this.”

 _You brought this upon yourself,_ Piper tells herself, looking into the mirror harder. Just then, somebody walks in and Piper nearly drops her phone into the sink in her surprise. “I got to go,” she just tells Polly before ending the call. “Updates later.”

When she gets back to the cubicle, the air seems somewhat off. Alex is back at her computer, rifling through her notes. “Hey,” Piper says, knocking lightly at the cubicle wall as she walks back in. “Thought we already turned that in?”

“We did,” says Alex without looking. “Your dad wanted a handful of things added in.”

“Oh,” Piper says. “Anything I can help with?”

Alex shakes her head, taking a moment to turn around and face Piper. “Nah, this is all on me – his additions were in my parts of the transcript.” And then, looking at Piper seriously: “Listen, I know we said drinks tonight, but this could take a while – we could always reschedule? Maybe you should make plans with Polly instead.”

“Polly has this big dinner thing for work,” Piper says. “And going home early just sounds awful. I think I’ll stick around. How long does a ‘while’ usually last?”

“Stay and find out,” says Alex, turning back to her computer, a small smirk hanging at the corner of her lips.

Piper feels her chest pound a bit harder at that. _Breathe,_ she reminds herself, turning back to her computer in kind. _Surely, there must be things to read around here._ In the end, she settles for archived Entrep interviews -- Alex’s, mostly, if only to get a feel of how she sounded like much younger.

In between, she’s texting with Polly. _Dinner awfully boring,_ says Polly about half an hour into it. _Save me._

 _Dinner + drinks stalled,_ Piper replies. _Still in the office._

 _With your hot boss. Tough luck,_ Polly shoots back.

Piper chews on her lip to keep from making an actual sound. _Fuck off, Polly. :)_

To which Polly replies: _God, I can see your blush from here. Pull yourself together ;)_

When Piper lets out a small, irrepressible laugh, Alex asks, “Everything all right, Pipes?”

“Sorry,” Piper just says. “I’ll be quiet.”

The quiet is promptly broken by Nicky and Boo talking loudly as they walk past their cubicle. “Yo Vause,” Nicky says, poking her head in. When she sees Piper, she smiles widely. “Oh. Hello, Chapman.” Then, turning to Alex: “Hey Vause – stop slave-driving your intern.”

“Do I look like I’m slave-driving her right now?” Alex says, though she sounds like she’s grinning anyhow. Then, without looking at Piper: “Hey kid – am I slave-driving you right now?”

“Nope,” Piper says, smiling. “The work load’s fine.”

“Okay then,” Nicky says. “If you want, you could join us for dinner and drinks. That all right with you Vause?”

Alex shrugs, typing on. “She’s technically off duty. Aren’t you, Piper?”

Piper takes a look at Nicky and Boo’s expectant faces before smiling a bit wider. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m actually still finishing something.”

That prompts Alex to turn around and face her, giving her that slightly arched brow that by now already gives Piper the shivers. “You are?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“All right then,” Nicky says, patting Alex on the shoulder. “You workaholics stick together. We’re heading out.” Boo just waves in the background, laughing loudly at something Piper doesn’t quite get.

When the noise dies down, Alex pushes her chair over closer to Piper’s area. “Finishing something, hm?”

“Can I be honest with you?” says Piper, dropping her voice. She has been trying to rationalize this feeling since Day One, but without success. When Alex leans closer, Piper closes her eyes, breathing in. A handful of days into this and already Alex feels like a sort of safe place. “Nicky and Boo kind of intimidate me.”

“Seriously?” Alex asks, wide-eyed. Piper notes how quickly Alex shifts from her edge-of-laughter face to something more sympathetic as soon as she realizes that Piper’s actually serious. “Aw, kid. Don’t let them get to you, they’re basically harmless. Besides, this place has seen worse.”  Piper just nods as Alex goes back to her computer. “Ten minutes,” Alex says. “Then we’re out of here.”

Piper turns back to the archives and gets lost in old words as ten minutes become thirty, and even much later, an hour and fifteen. Not that Piper minds – just being in this space of _anticipation_ has set Piper’s nerves on fire.

The small shuffling noises in Alex’s area tell Piper that she’s done, and when Piper looks at the clock, she finds that it’s already past 8.

“Fu-uuck,” Alex says, drawing it out as she stretches and exhales, and Piper finds herself gripping at her armrest tightly. _Hot damn, the lady curses,_ she thinks, shaking her head and looking away. “God, I feel like my brain’s been fried, or something. You still ok?” And then, looking at the clock in kind: “Jesus. I’m so sorry, how did you keep yourself amused after all this time?”

“I went through your archives,” says Piper. Off the impressed look on Alex’s face, she adds: “I read some of your early work.”

“You _what?_ ” asks Alex, trailing off with a laugh. “Now that’s just embarrassing. Jesus.”

“Really?” Piper says. She honestly thinks Alex’s early work is rather well-written, considering how the first ones to show up are dated six years ago. _God, where was I six years ago? She probably used a microcassette._ “If I could write these things this way now, I wouldn’t be embarrassed at all.”

“Hindsight is cruel,” Alex just says. “Every time I turn something in, I spend the next couple of nights agonizing over how I could have worded some portions better.”

“Okay, so when I started I was thinking I wanted to grow up to be like you, but now I’m having all these second thoughts about that.”

Alex looks at her, her face half-amused, half-confused. “Like me? Like--a tortured soul like me?” Alex smiles, walking over and perching herself upon the corner of Piper’s desk. Piper leans back into her seat further, like she’s trying to keep away from a fire. “Or like me--someone who leaves the office two hours after everyone else?”

Piper tries to speak. _Now would be a good time to work quickly, brain._ She opens her mouth, willing the words to come out. “I—just. Like you.” And then realizing how that sounded: “Okay, that came out weird, but I’m just saying – you’re... _cool_.”

“Cool.” Alex laughs, pushing herself off Piper’s desk to retrieve her jacket. Piper closes her eyes. _Really, that’s the word you settle for?_ “All right. Just for that, you’re getting _two_ margaritas.” Piper finally manages a shaky laugh. “ _Cool_. I’ve never had anyone say that about me before.”

“No way.” Piper stands, walking after Alex. The rest of the wing is quiet, with some lights already dimmed. “Where are we going?”

Alex opens the door to the hallway, gesturing for Piper to walk out first. “I don’t know,” she says, closing the door after her. Across their wing, she can see the newsroom still abuzz with activity, as the next day’s paper is still being put to bed. “I suppose you wouldn’t like to go to Queens, which is where Nicky and Boo are going.”

“Oh. Of course. That would just be awkward,” Piper says. “Where else do you guys go?” She watches Alex quietly as she tries to go through the choices in her head, pleasantly surprised to find the elevator empty and waiting. Piper goes in first, pressing the basement button.

“Whoa,” Alex says, hand just about to press the ground floor button. “You _drive_?”

Piper winces. “I know what you’re thinking – rich brat driving around in dad’s car—”

“Getting warmer,” Alex teases, and Piper just gives her a look. “Sorry. I sometimes forget that not everybody lives in the area.”

Piper smiles, stepping out of the elevator after the soft _ding_. “Traffic’s hell--I’d love to live in the area,” she says. “But for now.” Piper looks around, trying to remember where she parked, and when she realizes just where, she feels her knees go weak. _Of all days to park in daddy’s parking slot._ “Okay, don’t judge me—”

“Not yet,” Alex says, the sound of her footsteps echoing throughout the basement as she walks after Piper toward her car, and when she realizes for herself where they’re headed, Alex laughs out loud. “Fuck,” she says, her voice bouncing off the walls. Piper feels it wrap around her warmly. “You are totally kidding me.”

“He said I could use it if I arrive ahead of him,” Piper sighs. “You must think I’m an entitled asshole.”

“If I had a car, I would,” Alex says. “But I don’t have a car, so I just think you’re an entitled asshole who’s about to give me a ride.”

“I’ll take it.”

Alex is still laughing as she gets into the front seat. Piper’s car is by no means new – it’s a hand-me-down sedan she got from her dad when he upgraded to an SUV a couple of years back – but her dad has made sure it is maintained well, upholstery and all. _Does not exactly subtract anything to my rich kid cred._ Piper tosses her bag to the back seat after retrieving her phone and setting it upon her dashboard.

“Anyway. If not Queens, where?”

“Well, call us creatures of habit,” says Alex, shrugging. “If I’m not in the mood for Queens, I just pick up a bottle of wine and drink at home.”

“Drinking at home alone,” Piper notes, trying not to picture Alex walking around in her room, dressed down, with a wine glass in one hand and a newspaper in the other. _Shit._

“Still cool in your book?”

“Absolutely,” Piper says, swallowing hard. “Makes me wish I lived alone, actually.”

“And not with your parents?”

“Or in university housing with roommates.”

“ _You’re_ in university housing?” Alex asks, incredulous. “But isn’t your uni—”

“One-and-a-half hours away from here, yes,” says Piper. “Which explains the initial lateness, but I seemed to have found the perfect time allowance for morning travel, so.” Piper starts the engine, pulling at her seatbelt and fixing the rear view mirror. “Hey,” she says, touching Alex’s wrist lightly. “Seatbelt.” And then, surprised by her newfound courage: “There’s this excellent Serbian place we like going to, if you’re into a bit of adventure.”

“Girl, I’m sitting in your car, wearing a seatbelt because you asked me to,” says Alex. “Drive.”


	5. now what?

Alex watches as Piper enters the joint – it’s a small, second-floor restaurant, brightly lit and fairly quiet with multisized picture frames lining the walls and big windows. Alex walks in after her, somewhat impressed. _So this is what you uni girls are up to these days?_ she just thinks, following Piper to a table by the window near the bar.

“What do you think?” Piper asks. Alex notes with great amusement the slightly nervous tone in which she asks.

“It’s great,” says Alex, gesturing for the menu. A tall bald man approaches them with two, and Piper greets him. _Of course, she knows these people,_ Alex thinks, turning to the drinks list almost immediately.

“Late night?” he asks Piper. “Drinks?”

“Sort of,” she replies. And then, turning to Alex: “What are you having?”

Alex smiles, unable to shake out the feeling that the tables have just been turned. “Whatever you’re having,” she says.

“In which case, I’m having tequila,” Piper says.

“Now you’re just trying to get me drunk.”

Piper smiles, turning to the waiter. “Do you still have that bottle of Cuervo we had last week? Great, that, and that burger with smoked bacon and cheese inside?” The waiter gives her two thumbs up before retreating into the kitchen with their orders.

“Full disclosure: Tequila and I are not exactly friends,” Alex says.

“But you were in it for the body shots,” Piper replies. Alex laughs. _Am I drunk already, or was that actually a suggestion?_ “Come on. Everybody was.”

“Really?” Alex says, turning to the window and biting down on the tip of her tongue. _You got to keep this together, Vause,_ she tells herself, looking at the street below. It’s an unfamiliar area that Alex doesn’t really recognize; all she knows is that she’s at least a half-hour drive away from home. A kind of a good thing, actually, considering that she’s out with her boss’s daughter.

“So. Were you?” Piper asks, breaking into her thoughts.

“What?”

“In it for the body shots?” Piper tries to keep a straight face, only to be betrayed by the small laugh she eventually lets out.

 _Ah, kid. Must you make this so difficult?_ “Who wasn’t?” Alex says, finally caving. “But Jesus, I can’t remember the last time I had tequila, so.”

Right on cue, their orders arrive, complete with salt and halved lemons. Alex stares at the setup for a moment, trying to remember that last time – was it at the office anniversary party? She wishes she remembers more, and then she remembers Nicky. _She probably had that night properly documented in a fucking timeline,_ she thinks, and Alex finds herself laughing at the thought.

“Well?” Piper asks, offering her the salt shaker. “Shall we make a toast?”

 _Fuck it then._ Alex rolls her sleeve up, getting ready. She remembers preferring the underside of her wrist to the back of her hand, which was how everybody else used to do it. _Used to,_ Alex shakes her head, getting some salt on her skin. _Feels like so long ago._ When she looks at Piper, she has her shot glass lifted, and she’s looking at Alex with already half-drunk eyes, and in her head Alex goes, _Shit._

“To Vera,” Alex says, remembering the toast and dedicating it to their interviewee – certainly the safest toast to make. “To first interviews, first stories, and other first times.” Alex finds herself staring, holding Piper’s eye as she tries to negotiate with her salt and her shot. _Damn._ Alex almost forgets she also has a drink in her hand, only to remember it when Piper scrambles for her lemon.

“Fuck yes,” Piper says, and at that moment, Alex is already downing her shot, the tequila warm as it shoots down her throat. Through the haze of it, she catches a glimpse of Piper, looking on with her mouth half-open, and in that half-second Alex cannot decide which is pounding harder: her heart or her head.

“ _Jesus,_ ” Alex says, blinking and shaking it out as she moves for her own lemon slice, trying not to look at Piper altogether. _At least, I can now blame the blush on the alcohol._ “I now remember why we’re not friends. Tequila, I meant.” She brings the shot glass down to the table with a shaky hand, wiping at the corner of her lips with the back of her thumb.

“You drunk enough to start talking about that travel editor?”

“Hah,” Alex laughs, poking into her share of the burger. “Not by a mile. Besides, we are not getting wasted – one of us has to drive.”

“Too adult already?” Piper pouts. “Fine. Tell me some other story.”

“My life’s boring,” Alex says, eyes on her plate – it’s the only place that’s safe. _Nothing’s safe with a face like that,_ she just thinks. “Not like I run drugs for an international cartel or anything. Nothing exciting like that.”

“Can’t say I’m not disappointed,” says Piper. “But at least we’re not being chased by an invisible kingpin.”

“Truth,” Alex agrees. “With a legion of editors breathing down my neck – your father included, of course – I suppose it doesn’t make much of a difference though. My hands are just as full.”

Piper laughs, sounding much louder. _A shot of tequila in and already everything is too amplified?_ Alex blinks, her head swimming slightly. “Is it really that bad?” Piper asks. She sounds genuinely worried, in that Alex tries to straighten her face and _focus_.

“Takes some getting used to,” Alex admits. “After a while, the notion of _not_ having control over your hours already seems normal and ordinary.”

“Even if you’re already an office-based senior reporter?”

“ _Especially_ if you’re an office-based _employee_ , which means they can just pop in and just—well, you get the idea.”

Piper winces. “My mother used to complain about this all the time,” she says. “There was one time she thought it’d all end the moment dad got promoted – now she still can’t get him off his phone.”

Alex shakes her head. “Not how it works,” she says. She thinks about Bill and the gazillion of meetings he has to attend every other day. _The higher you go, the less control you actually have._

“Learned that the hard way, yep,” says Piper. “You’re never going to answer any questions about that travel editor thing, are you?”

Alex sighs before motioning for the waiter and asking for a beer. “She’s okay, I’m okay. Simply no point in saying something about it, you know?” Piper shrugs, pouring her lone tequila shot. “Just one more, all right? Then we’re going home,” Alex says, eyeing the shot glass.

Piper takes the shot before answering, throwing her head back and hissing right afterwards. “Please,” she says, sucking on her lemon. “No way I’m showing up at my mother’s doorstep like this.”

“Thought you’re in uni housing?”

“Curfew,” Piper says.

“Shit,” Alex says. _Shit. Now what?_ Alex watches as Piper pours herself another shot, her hand already unsteady. Alex reaches over and grips her by the wrist, trying to stop the shaking. In her hand, Piper feels all too warm. _It’s the tequila,_ Alex reminds herself, dismissing the blush on Piper’s face.

“Now what?” asks Alex, looking on as Piper downs her third shot for the night. “What’s your plan C?”

“Wait until morning,” Piper says matter-of-factly. Then, off the look of disbelief on Alex’s face: “It’s a Friday night. There are _armies_ of us doing the exact same thing.”

“Armies, huh,” Alex says, grinning into her beer. “You always do this on Friday nights you’re out?”

“Only when Polly scores,” says Piper. “I mean, the waiting until morning, because when she scores, she has the guy over, right? Otherwise, I just crash at her place and leave in the morning. Young, wild and free. Or whatever. I’m rambling, aren’t I.”

“You are,” Alex replies, laughing softly. _Sleepovers, huh?_ “Anywhere but your parents’ house, am I right?”

“They have this... _perfect kid_ illusion going for them. I’m just letting them have it for as long as I could.”

“Ah. Of course.” Alex notes the slight change in Piper’s temperament as she goes ahead and lines up her fourth shot. _God, I hope she’s not a crying sort of drunk,_ Alex thinks. _Been a while since I’ve had that and I’m definitely out of practice._ “What’s your tequila limit?”

Piper’s staring at her now-empty shot glass on the table, fiddling with the salt on the table. “Five? Six, if it goes around in a circle, and I have time to think about my life choices in between shots, and anyway, if I start speaking in Spanish—that’s usually the start of it.”

 _Jesus._ Alex downs the rest of her beer, but even then, she just feels all the more sober in the face of this. _Children,_ she just thinks. “How about we don’t get to Spanish, Pipes?” she says, reaching over and taking the shot glass from Piper’s hand, their fingers brushing together, and _Christ,_ Piper’s hand feels like it’s burning. “Let me get you a glass of water.”

Alex is just about to turn to the waiter when Piper pushes herself out of her chair and stands, walking toward the other end of the restaurant on obviously shaky knees. For a moment, Alex sits there, confused until she realizes where Piper’s headed.

“Everything all right?” the waiter says when he gets there.

“Can we have two glasses of water?” she tells him without looking, eyes glued at the narrow hallway that leads to the restrooms. “I’ll be right back.”

When she gets to the restroom, Piper’s already washing her face at the sink. “You okay?” Alex asks, hip against the counter. “Let’s call this a night, I’ll go get the tab.”

“Time is it?” Piper asks, wiping at her mouth with a wet hand.

“Midnight.”

“Only?” Piper looks at Alex through the mirror, wide-eyed. “This isn’t supposed to happen until about 3 in the morning.”

“Does this make me a shitty drinking buddy or a super efficient one?” Alex asks.

“Everything about you is intoxicating,” Piper says, and looking back at her through the mirror, Alex feels her throat go dry. _She’s drunk Vause,_ she reminds herself. _She’ll remember none of this in the morning._ Alex can’t decide if she’s happy or sad about that.

Alex looks away from the mirror and turns toward the paper towel dispenser, pulling a handful out. “Here,” she says, approaching Piper slowly and pushing the towels against Piper’s hands. She fixes her eyes on Piper’s shoulder, ultimately unable to resist brushing away Piper’s hair off it. _Keep this together._

“I wish I met you when you were younger,” Piper says, voice dropping to a whisper, turning toward Alex. The movement half-wraps her in Alex’s arms and Alex lets her hand fall from Piper’s shoulder down her arms. Under the fabric of her blouse, Piper’s skin feels all too warm, and this close Piper is all tequila and generic bathroom soap, and _God,_ Alex thinks. _I have to step back from this,_ but still she’s glued to that spot, unmoving.

Alex knows she has to say something to break the moment, but instead she finds herself saying, “You wouldn’t have liked me when I was younger.” _Goddamn, if that isn’t the least appropriate response to a thing like that,_ she thinks, chewing on her lip.

“I would have liked your sense of adventure,” Piper says, leaning closer.

“Are you saying I don’t have a sense of adventure _now_?” Alex asks, smirking. Somewhere at the back of her head, she’s somewhat thankful drunk-Piper is not the crying sort but the _flirty_ sort. _Like that makes things any easier._

“I’m saying you would have had more tequila.” Piper lowers her eyes from Alex’s, fixing them instead on a spot in the middle of Alex’s chest, somewhere nearer her eye-level. Alex breathes in, hand settling lightly on Piper’s hip.

“Because I’m not drunk enough for you?” _God I just have to stop talking, don’t I_.

Piper moves closer, hand over Alex’s chest. “Yep,” she says, patting the surface gently, smoothing the fabric out. Under her clothes, Alex starts breaking out in goose bumps. “You _definitely_ need to be drunk for this.”

Alex closes her eyes as Piper presses herself up against her so dangerously _close_. “Piper,” she says when she finds her voice. Alex breathes in and decides finally: _Enough._ “ _You’re_ drunk.” She holds Piper firmly by her elbows and pushes her gently back, a hand tipping Piper’s chin up. “Eyes on me. You all right to go?”

Piper refuses to look at her, shrugging off Alex’s hands and running her fingers into her hair. “All right,” Piper says, voice soft and hoarse around the edges, and in that instant, Alex feels the tense moment dissipate – the shift so palpable Alex swears she can hear it hissing. Piper steadies herself against the counter with one hand, taking a moment before pushing past Alex and going out the door.

Alex breathes out, turning toward the mirror, both hands braced against the sink.

_Now what?_

*****

When Alex gets out, Piper’s at their table, downing the second glass of water. On the way over, Alex stops by the bar to settle the tab, watching Piper from afar. _Fuck,_ she thinks. She’s forgotten how awkward things could get after something like _that._

“Hey,” Alex greets softly as she approaches, two fresh glasses of water in each hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Like my brain’s _beating_ ,” Piper says, taking one glass of water in hand and drinking. She leans back, hand digging into her pocket, presumably to pull out her car keys. “Here,” she says, tossing the keys on the table. “I think you should.”

Alex picks it up. “I definitely would,” she says. “I’ve settled the tab, by the way. We can go when you’re ready.”

Piper shrugs, moving for the other glass of water. _Thirsty, aren’t we._ “Let me just—god, my throat’s so _parched_.”

“That happens,” says Alex, and right then, Piper pushes herself up on shaky legs, bag in hand. _Here we go,_ Alex thinks, walking after her toward the elevators.

Alex takes a few moments before she recognizes Piper’s car. “Over there,” Piper giggles right beside her, threading her arm into Alex’s casually as she drags the both of them toward it.

“Right,” Alex says, just letting Piper hold on, balancing her shaky steps with solid ones and pulling her upright. When they reach the car, Alex deposits Piper carefully in the front seat, fixing her seatbelt first before going around and into the driver’s seat.

As expected, Piper is quiet throughout the drive, eyes glued to the night lights on the highway. Thankfully, at this hour the traffic is finally light, and they reach their destination in half the expected time.

“Where are we?” asks Piper finally as Alex slides into a parking slot right in front of the building.

“Home,” says Alex, pushing her car door open. And then, turning to Piper, she says sternly: _“Stay.”_ Then she scrambles out of the driver’s seat to help Piper with her seatbelt, then eventually, out of the car. Once outside, Piper shields her eyes from the building lights, looking around and blinking.

“This is not my parents’ house,” Piper says.

“Nope,” says Alex, holding Piper by her elbow as she leads her into the lobby. “This is where _I_ live.”


	6. three tequila, floor

Piper should have known better – tequila has always been bad news, and apparently it still is, but then again.

_Then again, tequila has landed me here._

Piper blinks under the too-bright elevator lights to Alex’s floor – god, tequila still does that time-lapse thing that freaks the _fuck_ out of Piper, usually, but the feel of Alex gripping her by the elbow is fairly comforting. Like she’s safe, and _anchored_ , and the next thing she knows she’s being led into a better-lit space with dimmer lights.

 _Yes._ “Ow fuck,” Piper finds herself hissing as she stumbles into the room after Alex, her eyesight swimming. “Sorry.”

“You okay?” Alex asks, hand on her shoulder. She sounds a bit louder than usual, and Piper finds herself wincing at the all-too-amplified sound of keys being deposited on a dish by the doorway.

When Alex flips a switch open, Piper shields her eyes out of instinct. “Too bright,” she murmurs, and Alex flips it back off, muttering an apology herself.

“You should get to bed,” says Alex, shrugging her jacket off and tossing it onto the couch. “I mean. As long as you promise not to puke on it in the middle of the night.”

Piper finds herself laughing at that despite the dull thudding somewhere inside her head. “Very funny,” she says, lowering herself slowly on the couch. “Can I take off my shoes?”

“Be my guest,” Alex says. In the dark, Piper can sense Alex watching her from across the room, arms crossed. “You need anything? There’s Gatorade in the fridge.”

“Gatorade’s also your hangover cure of choice?” Piper asks, pleasantly surprised.

Alex laughs, shuffling into the kitchen and opening the fridge. “I learned from the best,” she just says, opening the bottle before handing it over.

Piper drinks from it greedily. “Thank you,” she sighs, feeling slightly revived. She can see Alex a bit clearer now even as Alex walks around her living room, picking up stuff and putting them away. She’s got two buttons of her blouse undone and her sleeves rolled up haphazardly, and all of it makes breathing slightly more difficult for all the wrong reasons. Piper sits up straight, trying to pull herself together.

 _I’m in Alex’s flat,_ she tells herself, looking around. The space is both expected and surprising -- like _of course_ this is how a flat maintained by this person _should be_ but then there are far too many quirky details as well, and those one would not necessarily expect -- like that small army of matryoshkas standing right beside her row of Alice in Wonderland books on one of the upper shelves. Alice in Wonderland _books. Plural._

That Alex’s living room is lined with shelves is the most predictable thing – in her head Piper imagines Alex retreating to this place after a long day, drinking wine while browsing through her magazines, and just like that, Piper feels just inordinately warm.

“If you see anything you like,” Alex says, breaking their silence. “People borrow from my collection all the time.”

Piper smiles. “Like a library?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a librarian,” Alex replies, adjusting her glasses in a way that makes Piper feel like her stomach’s plummeting.  “Feeling better? You’re not so pale anymore.”

 _Fuck, I’m blushing._ “When I close my eyes I feel the ground shifting, but aside from that.”

Alex laughs, turning around and disappearing into a room. _Her bedroom._ A shiver runs down Piper’s spine at the realization. Piper sinks into the couch further, leaning back to cross her legs. When she looks at the clock, she finds that it’s only 1 in the morning. _This is going to be a long night._

When Alex re-emerges from the room, she’s out of her office clothes and in _sleep wear_ , and Piper has to blink, torn between _I’m too drunk for this_ and _Thank fuck I am drunk right now._ “You’re staring Pipes,” Alex says, smiling as she sits beside her on the couch, book in hand. “Anyway, if you want to get comfortable, I put some clothes out for you on the bed.”

“You do this for all your interns?” Piper asks.

“Only the drunk ones,” Alex says, nudging her gently. “Go pass out on the bed. I’ll be out here reading.”

“I knew it. You _don’t_ sleep at all, do you?”

“Sleep’s for the weak.” When Alex laughs, Piper feels the sound right on her chest, and _goddamn_ she is sitting on her sort-of-boss’s couch wanting to sort of kiss her in this drunken stupor.

 _Girl, you are full of bad ideas._ Piper forces herself to blink. “Well, weak’s a good word for me right now, actually,” she finds herself saying. She tries to get up but her shaky knees only take her so far; in her clumsy attempt, she finds herself braced against Alex instead, an unsteady hand gripping Alex’s shoulder.

“ _Easy_ ,” says Alex, book now forgotten on the couch as she holds Piper up with both hands. Her hands are warm and just – the way she looks at Piper right now— _Is it the hour? The alcohol? The proximity?_ “You’re not going to make me have to carry you to bed, are you?”

Piper’s throat goes dry. _I wish._ “I can manage,” she says instead, slowly extricating herself from Alex’s grasp. “Thanks.” She walks past Alex and heads for the bedroom, not looking back.

As promised, Alex had left some clothes out for Piper to change into if she wanted – an oversized shirt, a pair of pyjamas. Piper touches them gingerly, before smoothing her hand over Alex’s sheets.

The bed looks like it’s perpetually _undone_ , the way Piper expects -- people like Alex, she figures, just leave their beds hurriedly in the mornings without even thinking about making them up, only to come back to them after a full day and slipping back under the sheets, still filled with the previous night’s warmth and exhaustion.

Sitting there feels like she’s _intruding –_ unsettling yes, but not to the point of being uncomfortable; in fact, the sensation’s just enough to spark a little excitement in Piper’s chest. _Breathe, Piper._ Alex’s room smells faintly of lavender, and an all-too-faded tinge of cigarette smoke.

Alex’s room has an adjoining bathroom, and after a moment’s deliberation, Piper picks up Alex’s clothes off the bed and just thinks, _Fuck it._ She changes in the dark; it’s still marginally hard to look at anything bright, and she’s not about to sabotage her ebbing hangover.

Stepping out of the bathroom in borrowed clothes, all she can think about is how _soft_ Alex’s shirt is, and goddamn it, as the night progresses she just gets more and more _ruined_.

 _All this and I’m not even in bed yet._ She tries to delay the inevitable by having a look around – like her living room, Alex’s bedroom is lined with shelves. Everywhere she looks, there are books – on the shelves above the cabinets, on the bedside table, on the table by the window – Murakamis and Didions, Atwoods and worn copies of condensed Readers Digests that Piper recognizes from second-hand book stores, sitting side-by-side between metal bookends. _No wonder she never sleeps._

There's a radio on the headboard -- Piper tries hard _not_ to think about the existence of a headboard, in the first place, because it does just the strangest things to her - strange, embarrassing things.

Alex does not have a TV. Piper is not surprised at all.

Piper’s sitting on the bed looking at the ceiling when Alex pops her head in by the doorway, knocking softly like this isn’t her house. “Hey,” says Alex. “I was just about to get something. Why aren’t you asleep?”

 _Your bed is strange,_ she almost says. “I was about to,” Piper says instead, gradually lowering herself onto the mattress. _Oh shit,_ she thinks as she sinks into it. _The thing fucking hugs you._ She closes her eyes for a moment, trying to negotiate with her fading hangover. The ground’s still shifting, but not as badly as earlier. “Your bed’s nice.”

“Memory foam,” Alex just says, closing a drawer somewhere. “Enjoy.” With eyes closed Piper could see the smile on Alex’s face as she says it, and the last thing Piper remembers from that moment is the sound of the door closing.

*

The next thing Piper knows, it’s almost morning and Alex’s room is chilly and dark. Piper wraps the sheets around herself tighter, trying to get warmer. Although the pounding in her head has since softened to gentle pulses, she wakes up feeling so parched that eventually she convinces herself to get out of bed to look for a glass of water.

The living room is dark as well, but Piper can see the outline of Alex’s resting body on the couch, thanks to the light filtering in through the window. Her book’s open, lying face down on her lap, the blanket askew upon her legs. Piper resists the urge to get closer just to fix it. _Water, Piper._

She tiptoes into the kitchen, stretching her hand out to feel around in the dark. She thinks about turning on the lights, but decides against it. As it turns out, Alex’s kitchen is thankfully pretty straightforward and easy to navigate, even blindly. The refrigerator stands right beside the sink, and Piper grabs the first water bottle she sees, drinking up.

There’s a small noise in the living room and it freezes the blood in Piper’s veins. _Shit._ She closes the refrigerator door and sits at the dining table, trying to look like she hasn’t been snooping around the kitchen in the middle of the night. She holds her breath as she waits for Alex to come in from the living room.

Nothing. Piper breathes out, relieved. _Fucking hell._ She deposits her empty bottle in the sink before heading back toward the room, still on tiptoe. On the way back, she finds that Alex has rearranged herself on the couch – the blanket no longer askew, and the book now on the table. _Well, that explains the noise earlier._ Piper pauses a bit to take in Alex’s sleeping silhouette, her body curved to the side, like a big spoon. _Of all imagery, really?_ she asks herself, shaking the thought out.

Back in Alex’s bed, Piper could no longer sleep. She just spent a huge chunk of it staring at the ceiling, thinking about Alex who’s curled up on the sofa. _That can’t be comfortable,_ she realizes, remembering Alex’s bent body. _She’s going to ache all over if she stays there all night, and it’s going to be my fault._ Piper pushes herself out of bed and walks over to where Alex is lying down, nudging her gently awake.

“Hey,” Piper says, swallowing hard as Alex fumbles with her glasses.

Alex blinks. “You all right kid?” she mumbles sleepily, sitting up. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Piper shakes her head. “I was just thinking we could switch. I’ve had enough sleep, you could take the bed.”

“What?” asks Alex, rubbing at her eyes. “Hell no. You’re my guest; you’re not taking the couch.”

Piper shifts her eyes downward, fixing it on the floor instead. Good thing it’s dark, because she’s probably blushing up a storm. Again. “I can’t sleep,” she says. “Besides, I saw how _bent_ you are over here. I just thought.”

Alex stretches, inhaling audibly. “Okay, tell you what,” she says, sliding closer to Piper on the couch, elbows touching. “You take one side of the bed, I take the other side. It’s big enough for two. Nobody has to take the couch.”

  _Are you fucking kidding?_ Piper wants to ask, her chest pounding painfully. “Didn’t want to impose—”

“ _I’m_ imposing, all right?” says Alex, standing up and tapping Piper on the shoulder. “You’re right; this couch is no good for my back, Jesus—surely this back has seen better years.” At the doorway, Alex looks back at Piper, who’s frozen in her seat. “Follow at will, all right? Night, Chapman.”

 _At will. Like – what does that even mean?_ Piper thinks, arguing with herself in the dark. She does not know what to make of that brief exchange. Did Alex just say that because she was too sleepy to think of better things to say? Was she just being polite? _Maybe,_ Piper figures, trying to get more comfortable on the couch. But, then again, there’s always that _other_ part of her that's asking:  _What if?_

 _What if that was actually an invitation?_ There’s a delicious shiver that runs through Piper at the thought, and really, she wishes it were easier to just let the whole thing go, but _no._

 _Come on,_ she thinks. _Aren’t you just a bit curious? Don’t you want to find out where this could go?_ Besides – so what if Alex was just _saying that_? The bed’s still a thousand times more comfortable than the couch.

 _Now if that isn’t a win-win situation, I don’t know what is,_ Piper thinks, now seated at the edge of the couch. She takes in a couple of deep breaths before finally standing.

 _Fuck it,_ she just thinks, walking back into the bedroom with eyes half-closed.

*

When Piper walks back in, she finds Alex sitting with her back against the headboard, small lamp open on her bedside table. She’s got her knee up and her book open against it. _Of course,_ Piper thinks, smiling slightly. _Alex would totally read in bed._

Piper leans by the doorway and clears her throat. “Can’t put it down?”

Alex smiles without taking her eyes off the page. “It happens.” And then, “Hope the light’s not too distracting? I think I have an eye mask somewhere so you could sleep.”

“No need,” says Piper. “I’m surprisingly awake.”

“There’s something in the water,” Alex says, finally lifting her eyes off her book to look at Piper. “Why are you standing there? Come over and have a normal conversation.”

Piper laughs, surprised at the way her temple beats at the effort. “Shit,” she says, pressing against the side of her head with two fingers, like that’s going to stop anything. “Sorry – still slightly hungover.”

“Well, whatever’s in the water, it’s not miraculous,” Alex says. She gestures to the bed, smoothing the space beside her and patting it. “Come on. I don’t bite.”

 _Oh shit. Now she’s turning the charm on. How is anybody already charming at this hour?_ With a deep breath Piper pushes herself off the doorway and walks over, tentatively taking a seat on the far edge of the bed. “All right.”

“You still dizzy?”

“Very, very slightly.” Piper swings her legs tentatively over the bed, pulling both knees up to her chest, stealing glances over Alex’s shoulder and trying not to stare as her hands turn the pages.

“Why are you even in university housing? You should ask your dad for a curfew-less apartment,” Alex teases, shutting her book and putting it on the bed right beside them. She’s taken off her glasses, and is looking right at her, fresh-faced.

Piper laughs. “Do you know how hard it was to get out of our house to begin with?” she asks. Alex just looks at her, like she’s quietly asking, _How?_ Piper sighs, remembering that long-winding argument and the way it lasted all night. “Let’s just say my dad’s a stubborn asshole sometimes.”

“Who lets you do your internship in his office _and_ use his parking.”

“Thanks for the perspective check,” says Piper. “But you _of all people_ must know what I mean.”

The way Alex laughs at that – like she’s trying to keep quiet because it’s so early in the morning, but she still laughs anyhow, the sound coming from deep in her chest. “Yeah, you’re right,” she says, nodding. “Bill’s a stubborn old thing, but he’s a stubborn old thing who’s taught me a _lot_.”

 “Same,” Piper says, turning to the bedroom window. Outside, it’s becoming slowly light. _Here comes the sun._

Alex gets out of bed, moving for the window. “Here,” she’s saying, drawing the curtains. “You’ve got to see this.”

Piper watches as edges of buildings become more visible right outside Alex’s window as this side of the city slowly wakes. From afar, she can see the newspaper building come into view, the iconic logo perched upon the edge. “Is that—” Piper blinks, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She moves closer to the window, standing beside Alex, who’s resting her arm against the wall right next to it.

“Where we work? Yeah,” Alex says. “I did say I lived in the area, right?” Piper just nods, remembering that detail. _Though you left out the detail about this view,_ she just thinks. “When I was younger, I grew up reading old magazine issues – my mother held, like, _four_ jobs, and one of them was at a salon, and she used to bring home these _really_ old magazines, and I remember thinking maybe if I worked in those things we’d have newer ones on time.”

The thought of a younger Alex reading really old magazine issues in her room put a smile on Piper’s face, albeit a bittersweet one. Younger, Piper had also grown up surrounded with magazines her father brought home from the office – new ones, hot-off-the-press ones. She thought about sharing that bit before ultimately deciding against it.

“Looks like things are going according to plan,” Piper says instead.

“More or less,” Alex shrugs. “Which is actually the scariest part.”

 The last bit confuses Piper. “You’ve got a nice job, a nice apartment, and we’re apparently in the scary part?”

“That’s the thing about having things,” Alex says. “Now you have something to lose.” She breathes in, pushing off the window and heading for the door. “I recall you like coffee,” she calls from the doorway. “Have some in the kitchen.”

Piper’s still right where she left her, Alex’s last words echoing in her head. _Now you have something to lose. So much for starting your weekends on a high note._

“Hey Pipes!” Alex calls out again, this time over the sound of water boiling.

“I’ll be right out,” says Piper, looking at the view one last time before following Alex.

*

Piper takes a moment to watch Alex moving around in her kitchen – opening drawers and reaching up to take out a mug from the cupboards, a small patch of skin peeking from under her shirt when it hikes up with the movement, revealing half a sun tattooed there. Piper feels her breath catching in her throat – Alex’s dining table has two chairs, but all of the things out are just for one – her favorite cup, a set of dining things, like she isn’t really expecting guests.

 _When I’m not in the mood for Queens,_ Piper recalls. _I just go and drink at home._ And now she’s taking out a mug for _Piper_ and washing it in the sink. When Piper looks at the clock, it’s only a little before six. _Too damn early for this._

“Are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to help me make some coffee here?” Alex says without turning, her tone teasing.

“I was waiting for instructions,” says Piper, walking toward the dining table. There’s sugar, there’s milk and a jar of cookies. _Cookies._ It takes all of Piper not to scream in the sheer _adorability_ of it all. “How can I help?”

“The coffee’s done,” Alex says, gesturing to the coffeemaker. “Help yourself. Milk and sugar on the table.”

“Can I have a cookie?”

Alex laughs, turning around with her hip pressed against the kitchen counter, holding two mugs. “You really are five, aren’t you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Piper smiles as she takes both mugs from Alex’s hands. They’re commemorative ones given out during one of the company anniversaries. Her dad has the exact same ones in their pantry; she remembers how her mother used to complain about how it was always mugs. _Don’t you have a say in this, Bill? Make them stop or make them give away something else entirely._  

Piper makes coffee for two as Alex takes a seat at the table, cookie already in hand. “Sorry, I wasn’t exactly expecting company,” she says, sounding actually a bit shy. “If I had, there’d be more cookies.”

“No—are you kidding? Don’t be ridiculous, thank _you_ for letting me crash here last night,” says Piper, taking a spoonful of sugar to Alex’s mug, looking at her tentatively like she’s asking, _One teaspoon or two?_ Alex just waves her hand after the first one as if to say, _Enough._

“Yeah, well,” says Alex, reaching for one of the magazines stacked nearby and opening it on a random page. “I’m not exactly in the habit of getting my interns drunk, so – don’t get used to this.”

 _Ah, but I could,_ Piper just finds herself thinking, staring into her coffee and mentally noting how Alex likes hers. “Yes ma’am,” she just says. “No more getting drunk in Serbian restaurants.”

“No more tequila,” Alex says. She’s looking at Piper over her coffee, adjusting her glasses. “Got that kid?”

“No more tequila,” Piper repeats and the grin on Alex’s face gets bigger. “Piper wants a cookie now.”

“Jesus,” Alex pushes the open jar across the table, laughing with her mouth wide open and throwing her head back. “Please do not make that joke ever again.”

Piper laughs in kind, sticking her hand into the cookie jar, watching as Alex’s face lights up. Right there in Alex’s kitchen, their table fairly lit and pleasantly bathed in warm early morning light, Piper tries so hard not to think about how, despite prior warning, she _could_ get used to this.


	7. secret boyfriend territory

Piper leaves after lunch. Alex watches her go from her window, waiting for her car to roll out and turn in the right direction. _No, you have to go left--that’s a one-way street,_ was how their last conversation went, and when she sees Piper’s car disappear around that specific corner, Alex finally exhales. _Good girl._

It’s been a surreal past handful of hours; understatement of the year, actually. She never really has guests over—not even _Nicky_ , and Nicky’s the closest thing to a best friend that she actually has around here–and the fact that Piper even spent the night, regardless of the complete harmlessness of the thing—

 _Shit._ Alex picks up her phone and hopes to catch Piper before she talks with her dad. Piper answers after the second ring. “Alex? I didn’t leave anything behind, did I? Because your area is fucking confusing, and--”

“No, I,” Alex breathes in, worrying her lip. “Listen kid. Can you do me a solid and not mention last night to your dad?”

There’s a pause on the other end that has Alex really somewhat nervous. “Too bad because I just told my dad about the _mind-blowing_ night I had with you—are you kidding me, Alex, why would I even tell my dad anything?”

“Shit, kid,” Alex breathes out. “Just—don’t, okay? It’s complicated.” _And your father will kill me,_ she wants to add, but she keeps that part to herself.

“In any case—so what? Just two colleagues getting wasted, right? Just another day at the office,” says Piper.

“ _Piper._ ”

“All right, all right,” Piper says. “Jeez. We’re not even _dating,_ but I have to keep you from my dad like a secret boyfriend?”  

“Okay, we need to take this slower – when did we get to secret boyfriend territory again?”

“When this phone call came in?”

“This is _not_ secret boyfriend territory,” Alex says. “This is me making sure I’m keeping my job.”

There’s a pause on the other end—like Piper’s still assessing the urgency of her cooperation. “You’re right,” she says finally. “My dad will probably kill you.”

“Or fire me, which would actually be _legal_.”

“Actually,” says Piper. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to get you into any trouble; I just wanted to hang out with you.” Pause. “I really had fun last night.”

Just imagining Piper’s sincere face – it nearly kills Alex. “Yeah kid, me too,” she says. “But outside of the two of us – last night did not exist. All right?”

“All right,” says Piper. It’s so soft that Alex has to press her phone closer to her ear to hear it. _Shit,_ Alex thinks. _That was totally necessary. Wasn’t it?_

“All right. Now go have a normal weekend, okay? See you Monday.”

Piper hangs up first, the dial tone echoing in Alex’s ear. Staring at her phone, Alex just thinks, _Fuck._

She didn’t use to care how these sorts of things turned out.

*

Alex likes laundry – it’s her thing: Totally uncomplicated and routine, and just the way she likes her Saturdays off. Some people like running, some people do yoga, but Alex – Alex meditates in their building’s laundry area, which is almost always empty and quiet save for the low hum of the machines.

That Saturday is no different. After Piper hangs up, Alex tosses her phone onto the bed and starts collecting the week’s dirty clothes and putting them all in a basket. _At least there’s no way of fucking this one up,_ she thinks, surveying the bedroom.

She finds Piper’s clothes – the set Piper used when she stayed over – folded neatly on one corner of the bed. The sight puts a smile on Alex’s face. _At least the kid isn’t a total mess._ It’s an old shirt, one of Alex’s favorites, actually, but she didn’t really think of _that_ when she set it out for Piper – just that it’s the softest, most comfortable thing around. _Like that makes it sound like you hadn’t gone out of your way for Piper’s sake. At all._

 _Fuck this,_ Alex thinks, tossing that pile into her basket as well before heading out.

The laundry area is almost empty when she gets there, save for a couple of people using one of the machines at the end of the room. Alex knows them only by face, and her interactions with her neighbors are usually laundry-related anyway, so she decides she’s going to greet them with a small wave today, for a change. The couple – a young college kid and his girlfriend, Alex assumes – reply with a small wave of their own, obviously confused by the turn of events.

 _Kids,_ she thinks, shaking her head and smiling to herself. _Why do they always seem so intimidated by older people? Don’t they know we don’t really know any better?_ Alex sighs as she loads her machine, checking pockets for stray coins and paper slips one last time.  

A few minutes into her cycle, the kids at the other end of the room get up and leave. Alex is reading when the boy clears his throat to get her attention, and they exchange nods.

Just like that, Alex is alone. _Naturally,_ she thinks, turning back to her book. It’s the same one from last night, and truth be told she’s been going over the past few pages repeatedly, distracted. _It all goes back to Piper._ Alex shuts her eyes, massaging the space between her brows with her forefinger and thumb. _Jesus Christ._

There’s a soft ding as her cycle finishes and Alex is just thankful to have something else to think about – _to be distracted from being distracted, how’s that working for you Vause?_ she asks herself as she hauls her newly laundered things back into her room.

When she gets back in, hip against the door, her phone is ringing. _Shit._ She nearly drops the basket on her foot as she scrambles to find her phone, thinking it’s _Bill_ with late edits on a Saturday afternoon. She finds her cell hidden haphazardly under her pillow, answering it immediately without checking the caller ID.

“Vause.”

“Hey hotshot--what’s with the heavy breathing? Is this a bad time?”

 _Fucking Nicky._ “Jesus, Nicky,” Alex exhales, catching her breath. “No—shit. I was out doing laundry, and I thought you were Bill. You fucking scared the crap out of me.”

“Well, obviously not Bill, so _breathe._ ” Nicky laughs, and Alex thinks about murdering her in her head. “Where were you last night? We were expecting you and Piper at Queens.”

 _Here goes._ “No, we— _I_ went home after work. It was a long night.” Alex holds her breath, waiting for the lie to play out.

Nicky just says, “Is that right?” her tone disbelieving. “Anyway – come out tonight then. Boo’s taking care of drinks.”

“What? You’re not doing weekly payouts for the Bang Off, are you?”

“It was her idea,” says Nicky. “Not my fault I scored first.”

“ _Jesus,_ Nicky. Really?” Alex laughs into the receiver, shaking her head. _Classic Nicky._

“Come on, Alex – like you haven’t?”

“Excuse me?” Alex shoots back and Nicky just laughs harder. “Just, to address what you implied just now – no, of course I _haven’t_.”

“Whatever – finish folding your things, et cetera, we’re picking you up in an hour.” Nicky hangs up, leaving Alex in the middle of saying “See you.”

 _These fuckers_ , Alex just thinks, shaking her head.

*

Alex walks closer to the curb as she sees Nicky’s car approach, slowly rolling to a stop in front of her building. Boo, who’s riding up front, rolls the window down and calls out at her. “Get in, loser.”

“Fuck you,” Alex says, smiling as she reaches for the door. “From what I heard, somebody else lost this week.”

“Shots fired,” says Nicky from behind the wheel. “Can’t we reserve all this banter for when we are in front of dinner and drinks that Boo over here will be paying for?”

Alex shrugs, pressing her palms against the leather of Nicky’s backseat. “Don’t ask me—I’m just starving.”

“Hey, have you ever heard about _pacing_ yourself?” Boo interjects. Nicky laughs and drives on as Boo turns around in her seat to face Alex. “You’re smart Vause. You know what that means, right?”

Alex lifts her brow, smiling. “That what you’re doing? _Pacing_ yourself?”

“More like prowling,” says Nicky.

“You got to be in it for the _long game,_ ” says Boo, facing front. “That’s what Vause back there is doing, I can tell.”

“ _Hey,_ ” Alex says. “Still not in your game, okay? Bet all you want, I’m not in on _anything_.”

“Suit yourself,” says Nicky, turning the radio on. “Holy shit, I haven’t heard this in a _while._ ” Alex remembers the song from their first few days at the paper; remembers listening to it while riding the train to work, when she still lived an hour away. Hearing it again takes her back a handful of years, the memory so stark she almost sees Nicky and Boo with their younger faces and old hairstyles during those mid-mornings they used to spend smoking outside the building.

 _Old habits,_ Alex thinks, tapping her fingers against the back of Nicky’s seat, singing silently along and nodding her head, and Boo breaks out into song when it gets to the really passionate part, and Alex can’t help but laugh out loud.

“Until this very moment, I hadn’t realized just how hard Boo needs to get laid,” Alex says, catching Nicky’s eye on the rear view mirror.

“Fuck off you two,” says Boo, laughing as she shoves Nicky’s shoulder.

“I’m fucking _driving_ ,” Nicky shoots back.

“And I’m fucking paying for dinner,” Boo says. “Play nice.”

“You hear that Vause?” Nicky asks, still looking at Alex through the rear view mirror. “Play _nice_.”

Alex laughs, sliding backwards into her seat more comfortably. “All right,” she says, looking out the window. “I do nice from time to time.”

*

Nicky goes into blow-by-blow mode right after they make their orders. “Want to make a guess before we do details?” she asks, nibbling on her fries.

Alex exchanges a look with Boo, and in that split-second they agree on a name: “Laura?” asks Alex, before Boo corrects it to, “Lorna.”

 _Of course,_ Alex thinks, remembering that doe-eyed Italian-looking girl with shockingly red lips. “High fashion desk chick, am I right?”

Nicky laughs, slamming her open hand against the table. “Hah,” she says. “I wish.”

“You wish?” Boo looks at her confused. “You mean?”

“Not quite yet,” says Nicky, scratching at the back of her neck like she were actually embarrassed. “It’s Brook.”

There’s a wordless while as Alex goes, _Which one is that?_ in her head. Beside her, Boo gestures silently before settling for an exasperated, “ _Seriously_?”

“What?” Nicky asks. “That’s still one off the list, right?”

“Which one is this again?” Alex asks, genuinely interested.

Nicky turns to her, hand on her shoulder. “Man, I wish I had my binder with me. It has pictures and everything.”

“God, that is _not_ creepy at all,” says Alex, playfully shoving Nicky’s hand away. “So the score’s, like, twenty-zero or something?”

“ _Fifteen,_ ” Boo corrects.

“Fifteen _zero_ ,” Nicky emphasizes.

“And that’s just Brook, who is currently _whose_ intern?”

Boo’s eyes go wide as she turns to Alex. “You mean you _seriously_ do not remember?”

“What’s the point? I’m _not_ in the Bang Off, am I?” says Alex, smiling at the waiter who brings their dinner around. Nicky lets out a low whistle, rubbing her palms together.

“Point taken,” says Nicky, reaching in for a chicken. Then, turning to Boo, “No point scouting the other girls when she’s got just this one—”

“Here we go again,” Alex sighs, handing Boo the mashed potatoes. “For the nth time—”

“Not in the Bang Off, yada-yada, but why do I feel like I’m losing that bet already, Vause?” Boo says. “Not that I mind, but still. Your easiest $100, is that right, Nicky?”

“My momma told me money don’t grow on trees, but that $100--”

Alex laughs, taking her first swig off her beer. “Jesus, people. I don’t even know what you want from me anymore.”

“What _we_ want, Alex?” asks Nicky, fork in the air. “Fuck what _we_ want. What do _you_ want?”

Alex shakes her head, focusing on her beer. _Fuck,_ she just thinks, remembering Piper walking around _her_ kitchen in _her_ old shirt.

 _Fuck_.

*

After dinner, Nicky and Boo go out for a smoke. “You coming?” Nicky asks, teasing. While she’s always been supportive of this small effort Alex has at avoiding cigarettes, she’s always made it a point to include Alex in these invitations.

Alex declines, beer in hand. “I’m good. Maybe I’ll have one more drink.”

“Suit yourself,” says Boo, patting her on the shoulder before heading for the door.

Once the two are out of sight, Alex slides her phone out of her pocket: Three missed calls. She checks them quickly in a brief bit of panic.

All of them are Piper’s.

Alex smiles, typing in her reply: _Is this a bad time to call back?_

 _Not really,_ comes Piper’s reply, not even a minute later. Alex imagines Piper in her room, focused on her phone; maybe with the TV on, or a half-finished book open beside her on the bed. _You busy?_

Alex goes ahead and calls, taking that as her go signal.

“God, you really are old,” says Piper as she answers. “Can’t you hold a conversation via text or anything?”

“Texting is tedious,” Alex says. “Why bother when you can have a proper conversation?”

“I think I just heard my dad in that response,” she says. “Where are you? I hear music.”

“Out,” Alex says, leaning back into her chair, beer bottle still in hand. “Why did you call?”

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Piper says. “You said you weren’t busy—you’re with Boo and Nicky?”

“They stepped out to smoke—I got time to talk. What’s up?”

“No, I—never mind, you’re out being busy.”

Alex laughs, taking a moment to drink from her beer. “Jesus, Chapman. Just talk to me. Where are _you?_ ”

“I hate it when you call me by my surname – it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong at work.”

“Sorry, _Piper,”_ Alex says, humoring her. “Now, will you tell me what it is?”

Piper sighs. “My parents are driving me insane and I need someone to talk me out of murder.”

“And who else to put on speed dial for talking you out of murder, right?” And then: “Polly’s going to be mad at me when she finds out.”

“No, she’s my ‘Someone to talk me out of unnecessary purchases.’ You’ve got the murder thing solo.”

Alex bites her lip to keep herself from laughing out loud even louder. “I don’t know if that’s actually supposed to be a relief or anything.”

“You’re supposed to be touched,” says Piper. “Anyway I was going to ask you to join me for dinner, but that’s out.”

The offer surprises Alex, mostly, and she finds herself shifting in her seat, the butterflies in her stomach coming to life. _Shit, how old are you Vause? Sixteen?_ “Out? Why so?” Alex asks, trying to keep her voice level. “Also, are you sure about that, because two nights in a row? Nicky and Boo won’t even do that.”

“I’m neither Nicky nor Boo,” says Piper. “And you’re already out, so I guess I’ll really have to go out with my imaginary secret boyfriend to get out of this hell hole.”

“Imaginary secret boyfriend, hm?”

“My only escape,” says Piper. “I’ll text you where I am just so someone else knows.”

“Me? Why not Polly?”

“Polly’s a bad liar,” Piper just says, hanging up.

 _What the fuck was that?_ Alex just thinks, staring at her phone. A few moments later, Piper’s message comes in as promised; Alex blinks hard as she realizes the address. It’s the all-night diner on _her_ street. _Really, Piper?_ Alex wants to ask. _If you wanted to hang at my apartment, you just had to ask._

Alex looks up at the sound of Nicky and Boo coming back in, the door shutting behind them. Instinctively, she pockets her phone and finishes the rest of her drink, catching Nicky’s eye.

“You all right?” asks Nicky. Alex just nods, lowering her empty bottle on the table.

“Wanna transfer to where drinks are cheaper?” Boo asks, reaching for her wallet. “Happy hour at the Island starts in half an hour.”

Alex stretches, faking a yawn. “Damn,” she says, looking at the clock. If Piper’s at her parents, she’ll probably reach the diner in under an hour, and that leaves Alex with just enough time to catch her. “I think I’m heading back—”

“You sure about that Vause?” Nicky asks, winking at her. “Because Saturday night at the Island—”

Alex nods. Saturday night is decidedly red-hot in that joint, not to mention _their_ favorite bartender is doing the midnight shift. That girl Rosie’s a looker, Alex has to agree, but Boo’s so into her that Alex avoids going to the bar altogether just to keep out of trouble.

“You guys go ahead—Friday night’s closing is still taking its toll on me,” Alex says. A half-truth.

“You’re going soft, Vause,” Nicky says, patting her on the shoulder. Alex appreciates that Nicky does not go into full ribbing mode at this point, though it does make her just as suspicious as well.

In any case, Alex decides to shrug it off for the meantime, pushing herself off her chair. “Well,” she just says, giving Boo a small salute. “Thanks for dinner.”

“A classic eat-and-run,” says Boo, replying with a curt little bow of her own. “Like a true lady, aren’t you, Vause?”

Alex laughs, stopping to look back when she gets to the door, flashing her middle finger back at Nicky and Boo before stepping out.

Outside, the air is cool and Alex stuffs both her hands into her pockets as she looks down the street for a cab. She flags one down after a couple of minutes, and right on cue, Piper’s on the line again, asking where Alex is at.

“In a cab, headed for home,” Alex says.

“Oh,” Piper says, sounding deflated. “Oh well.”

 _You idiot._ “Piper,” Alex sighs melodramatically. “You’re in the diner across my apartment, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Stop moping and order some fries for me, okay? Be there in thirty.” Alex smirks as she hangs up on her this time, looking out her window, smiling at the way she almost said, _I’m coming home to you._

 _Well. That doesn’t sound half as bad._ The thought’s out all fully formed before Alex can quite catch it, and now she’s torn between wondering how much of that’s the alcohol talking, and hoping she’s not as sober as she feels.


	8. the gambling type

Of course, Piper thinks about calling Polly, but then she’s under specific instructions not to call on this particular Saturday night – Polly’s out on a  _date_  with a  _man_ whom Piper has yet to know but Polly’s all excited about, and just, Piper’s  _really_  trying to be supportive, but then again.

“Piper?”

Then again, now she’s on the phone while sitting in a diner across Alex’s apartment. “Polly?” she whispers into the receiver, looking out the diner’s window and trying to figure out which of the windows there is actually Alex’s.

“Why are you whispering?” asks Polly back. “Are you someplace where you have to be whispering? I swear to God, Piper, I do  _not_  have money for bail.”

“What?” Piper asks exasperated. “Fuck—no.  _No._ I’m just—sorry, I know I shouldn’t be calling, this is  _that_ Saturday, but—”

“But what? Please tell me you’re not up to anything illegal this weekend.”

“Why would you even think that?”

“Why else would you be whispering into your cell?”

Piper clears her throat. She  _was_ whispering. Fucking hell. “Shit,” she says, voice at regular volume. “Sorry about that, it’s just—do you know where I was last night?”

“Can I take this phone call when I’m  _not_ out on a date?”

“This won’t take long,” Piper promises. “Last night, I was out getting drunk with my boss, right?”

“Yes, I remember that conversation. Piper – are you  _drunk_?”

Piper pauses. “Tonight? Not yet,” she says. “But last night, I was absolutely  _wasted,_ it was embarrassing. I took Alex to that Serbian place where we stashed our tequila—”

There’s an audible gasp on the other end of the line. “You did  _not_ ,” says Polly. “What—you know what tequila does to you! What were you thinking?”

“I know, I know – I’ve spent the better part of this day kicking myself for that, but not really? Because being wasted landed me right in Alex’s apartment.” There’s a long quiet pause at Polly’s end that prompts Piper to check if she’s there. “Pols?”

“You did not—did you sleep with her?  _Already_  Pipes? How long have you known this person?”

“Slept as in  _slept –_ or maybe  _passed out_  would be a better term? In her bed. So, Alex doesn’t really sleep, as it turns out? She napped for, like,  _twenty minutes_ on her sofa.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me – last night you were in her apartment, and you just  _slept_?”

“Mm-hmm,” Piper nods, smiling as her orders arrive – two sets of fries, a burger for herself and a large Coke. “Then in the morning we watched the sun rise outside her window and had coffee in her kitchen.”

“Fuck, you skipped the exciting sex parts to get directly to boring but unbearably adorable old couple? Who are you?”

Piper laughs. “So are you happy or disappointed I didn’t sleep with her?”

“Disappointed,” Polly replies without missing a beat, a stunned laugh punctuating her response. “I don’t know why I said that, too.”

“Well, you did say she was sort of hot,” Piper says. “And I’m seeing her tonight. Again.”

“Now that’s just excessive,” says Polly. “Really?”

“I’m in a diner across her apartment. Earlier she was out with the other young editors, and now she’s coming to see me.”

“In which case you should definitely hang up and just—god, I don’t know, pull yourself together,” says Polly. “So. You good to go?”

Piper breathes in. “I guess.” There’s a movement by the diner’s door and Piper  _knows_  that swagger, even from this far. “I have to go.”

By the time Alex slides into the seat across her, Piper’s already got her phone back in her jeans and her hands on her fries.

“You started without me?” Alex teases, taking a fry off the other plate – the one that’s hers. She looks at Piper with her eyes so bright Piper could swear they’re lighting up just for her, and  _god_ , the things that little fantasy does to her insides.

“You did tell me to order your fries ahead,” Piper counters. “You should have told me to wait a little.”

“Nah, this is all right,” says Alex, grinning as she digs in. “You liking your food so far?”

“Sure,” Piper says, trying not to stare too hard. Alex seems lost in her little world for a moment there, until she notices Piper’s drink.

“You’re having soda,” Alex notes, poking at its side, laughing. “For a change.”

“I wasn’t planning on getting super wasted tonight,” says Piper. “For a  _change_.”

“Is that right?” Alex smiles. “So is it my turn to get wasted?”

The way Alex leans closer over the table at her – Piper feels the back of her ears grow warm. “I doubt I could drag you across the street, much less get you in the elevator or up multiple flights of stairs,” she says. “Though of course, I assure you – I am going to try. Like, very hard.”

Alex laughs, looking into her plate intently. “This is why I prefer getting drunk at home.”

Piper tries picturing Boo and Nicky hauling a drunk Alex up into her room; not very long into her visualization, Piper starts grinning like a madwoman.

“What?” Alex asks, brow raised.

“What?” asks Piper back. Then, off the look on Alex’s face: “Nothing. I was just thinking about Boo and Nicky.”

“That makes me feel strangely cheated on,” Alex says.

“Not what I meant,” Piper says. “Just—I could barely imagine them hauling a drunk  _you_  up back into your room.”

“The thing about being five-nine and having friends who are like five-two or five-three is that  _that_ particular task looks spectacularly ridiculous,” says Alex. “Which is not to say it hasn’t happened—I assure you we manage, though.”

“The things I would do to actually view CCTV of that night,” Piper says.

“Too late,” Alex replies, tossing a couple of fries right at her.

 _Jesus,_ Piper thinks, letting out a small squeal.  _This thing right here._

_It’s going to be the death of me._

*

It’s easy –  _talking_. They bounce thoughts off each other effortlessly, like words were an endless stream and all Piper has to do is stick her arm out with a bucket and there they  _are_. Alex likes talking about her younger days in the paper, the decidedly juvenile antics she and Nicky and Boo liked getting tangled in, and Piper just takes it all in, fascinated by these younger persons she thinks she almost knows, only not really.

“I remember that time Boo got into a motorcycle accident during one of her test drives,” Alex says, hands in the air for illustrative purposes. “Your dad got so mad, there was absolutely  _no testing_ for half a year.”

“How bad was it?” asks Piper, and Alex looks at her like she’s actually surprised Piper doesn’t know about it.

“Broke her leg; burns here and here,” Alex says, pointing to her side. “Boo liked living on the edge a bit, and well – she was out of the office for three months, off alcohol for six. That sure taught her a  _lot_.” And then: “I’m really surprised you didn’t hear about that. Bill’s stress levels were off the charts.”

“My dad believes in compartmentalization,” Piper just says. It’s one of the things she wishes she inherited: The power to sort things and keep them apart, according to plan. “If you knew my mother, you’d know what I mean.”

Alex smiles. Piper wonders about what she remembers: Is it the Carol Chapman from a handful of anniversaries back, the one her dad still brought along? When around people, her mother always seems to manage putting herself together like a nice enough woman, but certainly one nobody would dare be left alone with.

“I wouldn’t want to mess with your mom,” Alex just ends up saying.

“This whole picture you’re painting of my dad stressed, it’s somewhat alien to me—I mean, I did say they sometimes make living at home difficult, but it’s always been a joint effort. With my mother in the lead,” says Piper, toying with her food now that she’s full. “Daddy’s just... zen.”

“I’m hearing a daddy’s girl,” Alex says.

“You’re hearing a terrified-of-daddy’s-expectations-girl,” Piper corrects. “Normal people wouldn’t even touch their parents’  _successful_ careers with a ten-foot pole, or something. They’d run the other way. I could be a  _scientist_ , or something else, but no – I prefer this? To be directly under my father’s shadow all the fucking time?”

“Why do you bother then?” Alex asks, setting her eyes on her seriously. Piper feels that chill again slowly cruising down her spine.

“I feel like I’m being profiled,” Piper counters. “You’re getting  _that_  look.”

“ _What_  look?” Alex asks, brow raised playfully, a small smile at the corner of her lips.  _I could actually be dead by now,_ Piper just thinks.  _If that could kill, I’d definitely be._ “Besides—so you’re being profiled,  _hypothetically_. What’s your answer?”

Piper reaches for her drink, sipping noisily until it is empty and sticking her tongue out at Alex playfully after. She’s stalling, of course; Alex just laughs.

“Come on,” Alex coaxes, touching Piper’s wrist on the table. “Play along.”

Piper shrugs, trying to disguise the shiver that runs through her at Alex’s touch. “I don’t know,” she says, breathing out. “I guess I thought it was something we could do together? I mean, my dad and I. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, I know, but I remember watching him work at home – I used to watch as he sat down in front of his typewriter, and I remember collecting all the used papers that fell off the table. It all just seemed so… important.  _Urgent_.”

“Still is,” Alex says. Piper tries to ignore the way Alex is fiddling with the strap of her watch on the table; tries to pretend the whole thing doesn’t feel like it’s burning a hole right through her skin. “Must have been nice growing up with an icon for a father. How was that?”

“I—” Piper swallows, trailing off. She cannot think, not with Alex’s fingers dancing around her wrist like that, these little ticklish patterns. When she looks at Alex, she’s strangely fixated on the small buckle that holds the watch together, even bringing her other hand over to undo it.  _What is she up to?_ Piper stares quietly, dazed.   

Alex lets out a soft  _Hah!_ as she finally figures out how to undo Piper’s watch, slowly sliding it from Piper’s wrist and pocketing it with a mischievous smile on her face. “You never answered my question.”

“Which—which one?” Piper asks, clearing her throat. And then, catching Alex’s eye: “What are you doing?”

“You don’t get to ask questions yet,” Alex says. “Okay, something easier then. Best lesson your dad taught you?”

“Not to get backed into corners I couldn’t get out of,” Piper answers instantly, laughing.

Alex tightens her hold around Piper’s wrist, and Piper feels the rest of her laugh get stuck in her throat as she holds her breath. “How’s avoiding those corners going for you so far?” Alex asks, leaning in and grinning.

 _I have been failing miserably,_ Piper just thinks, looking away. “Depends,” she says instead. “Some corners have been hard to resist.”

Alex laughs, slowly sliding away from Piper, hand still around Piper’s wrist loosely. “That’s a good sound bite,” she says, standing up. “Can I quote you on that?”

“Wait--where are we going?” Piper asks, letting herself be pulled along, walking after Alex as she marches toward the exit.

Outside the night is pleasantly cool, and Alex shoves her non-Piper holding hand into her pocket. “Wanna raid my liquor cabinet?” she asks, staring at her apartment building across the road.

Piper feels her heart beat painfully against the underside of her chest. “I thought you’d never ask,” she says, hand now in Alex’s as they cross the street.

*

Piper sits in the kitchen as she watches Alex take a bottle out. “Now  _that’s_ a liquor cabinet.”

“Vodka,” Alex says, placing the bottle in front of Piper on the table. “You all right with that?”

“For some reason, I somewhat imagined that cabinet would be filled with bottles of wine.”

“Just how  _old_ do you think I am?” Alex says, smirking at Piper as she pours herself a shot. She pulls the door open wider, showing a line of half-filled bottles, bottles of red among them. “I like having options.”

“I can see that,” Piper says, nodding as she reaches over to pour herself a shot in kind. “Just make sure you don’t accidentally set that space on fire or anything.”

Alex shuts the cabinet close, smiling with her glass in hand as she leans against the sink. Even when she’s been here before, Piper feels a strange, new twist to Alex’s kitchen – like the energy’s different. Alex looks down into her glass, swirling its contents around. “So. What do you like to do on this wide open Saturday night, kid?”

Piper feels her mouth go dry.  _We could talk all night,_ she thinks, closing her eyes and imagining Alex’s hushed voice in her ear.  _Wouldn’t mind that at all._

“Pipes?”

Piper blinks, downing her shot. “Up to you,” she replies, coughing lightly at the burn the drink draws down her throat. “It’s your house.”

Alex shrugs, pulling one of the kitchen drawers open and rummaging around it. “Does this make you wish I had television like a normal person?”

“I’ve wondered about that. Why don’t you have a TV?” asks Piper, though mostly out of curiosity. “Just asking, no judgment.”

“TV is  _exhausting_ ,” Alex says, still distracted by the contents of her drawer. “I had one in my old apartment—after getting home, someone would always say,  _Are you watching this?_  and it’s something on CNN or Bloomberg.”

“At least now you can say you don’t have a TV.”

Alex looks at her, smiling like they have a secret. “When did you get so smart?” She walks over to the table and tosses a pack of cards on the table. “Hah. Found it.”

“Ah, so that’s what you were looking for,” says Piper, taking the deck and shuffling it haphazardly. “I once went to class with a girl whose father worked for a casino, and she used to give out all these decks all the time.”

“Did you do casinos often?” Alex asks, reaching for the pile in Piper’s hands.  _Here we go again,_ Piper just thinks, trying to focus.  _Hands, Christ. She’s trying to kill me, isn’t she?_ “You don’t seem like the gambling type,” says Alex, handing out the cards.

“The gambling type?” Piper asks, picking her cards up one at a time, trying to rein in the shake in her fingers.

Alex eyes her over the edge of her cards, like she’s reading her mind. “You kids like to say you’re all about adventure, but in the end you just want something...  _safe_. Something sturdy to fall back on. Not that that’s a bad thing.”

Piper looks away, flustered. She’s had this conversation with Polly a hundred times already -- about just leaving this city and shacking up some place quieter, phone-less and deadline-less, but truth be told, she likes the rush of it all, the way the city is  _solid_  and  _reliable_ and Alex has her down so pat it’s hard not to be the least unnerved.

“What—what about you?” Piper tries asking back, clearing her throat and focusing on her cards. “Are you the gambling type?”

“Find out for yourself,” Alex says, before lowering her cards back on the table, face down. “And for the record, if you were the gambling type, you’d be horrible at it, so.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I’m folding right now,” says Alex. “Let me see your winners.”

 _Fucking hell._ Piper pouts as she presents Alex her cards – she’d dealt her not one, but  _two_  aces. “Do I still win?”

“Is it about winning?” Alex asks, gathering the cards and setting them aside. Piper says nothing, stunned by the question. “Then sure, you win.” Alex reaches for the vodka again, forgotten for a moment there, pouring two shots and sliding one toward Piper’s now empty hands. “My momma told me to fold when you know you can’t win.”

“You still lose that way,” Piper points out.

“But without you seeing my cards,” Alex says. There’s a small smile on her lips, but to Piper it seems a bit melancholy, and the sight tugs at her in entirely unexpected ways.

“Is that what it’s about then?” Piper asks, holding her breath as she moves in to touch Alex’s hand tentatively, the one that’s wrapped around the glass of vodka. Alex stills at that, and Piper feels the air around them shift with  _something._ “Hiding your cards?”

“Careful, Piper,” Alex says, so soft and low it’s out like a hum, pulling away from Piper’s touch as she brings her glass to her lips, looking away.

 _Should I say sorry? Should I press further?_ Piper bites down on the tip of tongue, pulling her hand back in kind.  _Shit, you’re fucking this up, Piper. Hold it together._

 _Hold it._ Piper breathes in, counting backwards from ten in her head.

“Look, kid,” Alex says, shifting on her chair and lowering her now-empty glass back on the table. When she looks at Piper, her chest feels like it’s just about to explode.  _Hold it,_ Piper reminds herself, fingers scratching the table’s edge. “This isn’t supposed to be like  _this_.”

“Like how?”

Alex fixes her with a look. “You  _know_  how.”

“No, I don’t,” says Piper, knocking her shot back swiftly and letting the glass fall back down on the table with a soft thud.

Alex laughs, her voice small. “You really have no idea what this is doing to me, do you?”

Piper breathes in, her mind blanking out.  _Jesus,_ she thinks, blinking. “How much have you had to drink?” she asks quietly instead.

“Come closer and find out.”

“Excuse me?”

Alex sits back, fixing her feet on the floor, like she’s steadying herself. Like she were challenging Piper.  _Oh no – no, no. This isn’t how to hold it together._ Piper feels the blood drain from her face as her stomach plummets. “I said: Come closer and find out.”

“Alex.” Piper knows how it sounds like, but slowly she gets past caring; after all, what power did she have at the face of  _this_  Alex?

Piper pushes herself off her chair slowly, hand braced against the table as she negotiates with her shaky knees. She’s still thinking about the next thing to say when Alex meets her halfway and takes her face in her hands.

 _Fuck,_ Piper thinks. In the split-second before she closes her eyes, she catches Alex looking at her so softly before she leans in to kiss her, soft and slow and so  _unexpected._ Somehow, Piper had always expected Alex to be  _anything_  but soft—she’d expected rough, she’d expected straight-to-the-point, the way she is when she writes, the words perfectly cut and precise.

Not that Piper would have been able to prepare for  _that,_ but this—the way Alex seems to  _meander_  in this space, her hands holding Piper’s face so  _gently_ all Piper could think about is how this tenderness might as well just destroy her.

 _Oh,_ she thinks, sighing into Alex’s mouth.  _Oh this is going to be a horrible mess._

When Piper opens her eyes, Alex is heaving, fingers touching her lips like she’s wondering what just happened.

“Well,” Alex says, hip leaning against the table. “That was unexpected, wasn’t it?”

“Unexpected how?” asks Piper, managing a smile now. “Because—well, yes, I didn’t expect it, but I was certainly hoping for it, and—”

“Shut up,” says Alex, giggling as she comes closer again, lips brushing against the corner of Piper’s lips. “Fuck,” she whispers against the Piper’s skin there. Piper just shivers and  _shivers._ “We’re so  _fucked,_ aren’t we?”

Piper turns her head slightly, pressing her open mouth against Alex’s.  _I don’t care,_ she just thinks, hands coming up to hold Alex’s face closer.

“Who cares?” Piper asks when she comes up for air.

Alex just laughs into Piper’s neck, the sound vibrating against the thin skin of her throat. Piper closes her eyes, feeling her world reduced to  _this one thing_ , the rest just falling away in the background.


	9. one for the books

Piper is nervous; Alex can tell by the way practically her _entire_ body is shaking, and when it actually dawns on her that this could very well be Piper’s first, Alex feels the gears in her brain just grind to a standstill.

 _Shit,_ she thinks, pausing with her lips against Piper’s navel. “You all right?” she whispers, thumb stroking Piper’s wrist. “Piper?”

Piper is not breathing, not really; when Alex looks up at her, Piper meets hers with eyes glazed over with _want_ , and _hot damn._ Now Alex is shaking too, but still she goes lower.

“Talk to me, kid,” she says, kissing the inside of Piper’s thigh.

Piper inhales sharply at the contact. “Jesus,” she hisses out. “I can’t—what are you doing—”

 _She has no idea,_ Alex thinks, disappearing fully under the sheets. She remembers very little from that first time a girl went down on her—and for all the _good_ reasons, and just: If this is going to be the first and _only_ time she gets to do this with Piper, it better be a good one.

It better be one for the books.

*

After, Alex thinks about lighting up—in fact, she gets as far as her kitchen, one hand already rummaging through a drawer filled with ‘emergency’ cigarettes.

“Is that like, code for how horrible it was?”

Alex jumps a little in surprise. When she looks over her shoulder, she sees Piper leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, wearing nothing but a borrowed oversized shirt. _Goddamn,_ Alex thinks, shutting the drawer and retreating empty-handed. _I could get used to that._

“No, I—” Alex looks down, shaking her head. Standing there in her dark kitchen, she doesn’t feel like herself. Sure, she’s done this before – she doesn’t even remember their names anymore – but this thing they have right here, it worries her to a degree.

It worries her because _this_ feels different.

“Look,” Piper begins, holding her hands up as if in surrender. “This doesn’t – it doesn’t have to be anything, you know?”

“Piper.”

“I mean, I know, you’re worried we’d get in trouble, sure—”

“ _Piper._ ” Alex walks toward her, reaching out to touch Piper’s face. “Relax.” Alex meant it more as a message to herself, but it throws Piper anyhow; the kid’s inability to hide her feelings from her face is adorable, but then, she’s not the only one thrown here, is she? “Go back to bed.”

Piper leans into Alex’s hand, eyes closed. “But you’re not there,” she says, yawning.

 _Jesus,_ Alex thinks, swallowing hard. _Whatever happened to ‘this doesn’t have to be anything’, Piper?_ “I just—give me a sec here,” she says, rubbing Piper’s temple with her thumb lazily before planting a kiss on her forehead. “All right?”

Piper looks up at Alex, biting down on her lower lip. “All right,” she nods, pulling away very, very slowly before turning back around and heading for the bedroom.

Alex watches her disappear into the room, the door shutting softly; she exhales along with the sound. _How can this not be anything?_ Alex asks herself, cradling her face in her hands.

*

Alex waits for Piper to fall asleep before going back to bed, listening as Piper’s restless sounds quiet down. _Not creepy at all,_ Alex chastises herself, looking out her window upon the deserted streets. The diner across is almost empty, save for two people by the bar having their quiet cups of coffee.

 _Remember how nights like this used to end?_ Alex muses as she watches Piper’s sleeping form. Truth be told, Alex isn’t really of the habit of letting the other girls into her apartment, much less allowing them to stay the night. Instead, Alex usually capped trysts like this with breakfast in the diner across the street at 3 in the morning before sending them off in a cab with a kiss, never to see them again.

 _And then we have this._ Alex sits on the bed carefully, trying not to wake Piper by making a sound. She holds her breath as Piper shifts to her side to face her, hands folded under the side of her face. Alex checks to see if her eyes are still closed. In the dark, Piper looks so... _undisturbed._ Like they hadn’t just done something to potentially sabotage whatever they have going.

 _Good thinking, Vause,_ she thinks, wiping her glasses. _Way to go, being the responsible adult here. Nice supervisory instincts._ She reaches for one of her books and tries getting past the last dog-eared page, but despite all attempts at focusing she does not get very far, not with Piper reaching out in kind to wrap her fingers around Alex’s other wrist gently, like she’s reaching out for her in a dream.

Alex looks at Piper’s sleeping face before glancing toward their joined hands. _Shit,_ she thinks. _Do you remember now, Vause? This is precisely why we don’t let them sleep over. Things get too close, and messy, and maybe they’d also want to spoon, or something._

 _Hah,_ Alex finds herself chuckling at the thought. _What a ridiculously small spoon you’d make, Piper._

Piper breathes in, stirring like she’s slowly coming to. “What—were you laughing just now, Alex?” she asks sleepily, rubbing her eyes like a kid before peering at Alex with one eye barely open. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” says Alex, shaking her head, smiling at Piper’s hand that’s still wrapped around her wrist. Piper takes a small while before she catches herself at it, before finally pulling her hand toward herself.

“Sorry,” she says sheepishly, hand now curled loosely in a fist. “I must have been dreaming.”

Alex smiles wider at her. _For someone who’s spent the last handful of hours naked in my bed—really?_ Alex can’t help but think it’s actually adorable that Piper feels the need to apologize for innocently reaching out for Alex’s wrist in the middle of sleep _after everything._ “What were you dreaming about?”

“Nothing too interesting,” says Piper, her voice a bit hoarse. “I was on the beach with my brother. It was—it was this place I’ve never actually visited before, but for some reason I always find myself in it in dreams. It’s weird. Forget it.”

Alex slips into a more comfortable position, facing Piper right on the bed. “No, not weird—it’s fascinating,” she says. “Tell me about it.”

Piper licks her lower lip before continuing, and it takes all of Alex’s self-restraint to not interrupt her with a kiss. Piper says, “There’s a hotel on the mountain, lots of little rooms, then you have to hike down to get to the water. Everything’s just green and blue.”

“The beach is a hike away, huh.”

“Talk about making you work for it,” Piper says.

“Some things need work, yeah,” Alex says. It’s out unbelievably tender, and Alex suddenly feels so _exposed,_ like her chest had just been cut open. Piper’s now looking back at her with eyes wide awake, like she’s seeing Alex for the _first time._ Piper breathes in as she puts a warm hand on Alex’s face _._

“I meant that,” she says softly, eyes on Alex’s lips. “When I said this doesn’t have to be anything.”

Alex sighs. “Piper. You know the drill, right?”

“My father will kill you. Or fire you. Or both, not necessarily in that order.” Piper tries to smile, but the effort comes off as a weak one. “I don’t want to get you into trouble, but.”

Alex waits for the rest of Piper’s sentence. “But what?”

“But—I don’t know. I can’t stop this,” Piper says, closing her eyes. “It’s unstoppable. _Inevitable,_ even.”

 _Inevitable._ Alex considers the word. _Like a disaster you see coming from a mile away, isn’t it? “_ What do we do then?”

“You’re asking me?” Piper asks back, smiling as she inches closer.

 _This girl,_ Alex thinks, staring as Piper’s lips. “You’re the one who brought it up,” says Alex. “I was just about to sleep.”

“All right,” Piper says, closing the space between. The kiss is slow and soft and lazy. _Do people fall asleep like this,_ Alex wonders idly, eyes closed. When she breathes in, _everything_ is Piper. _What do you do with a thing like that?_ “Forget I brought it up, then.”

“How about,” Alex begins, opening her eyes. “We stop thinking for a while?”

Piper looks at her, brows knit like her head’s full of questions. “Are you kidding?”

Alex clears her throat. “You’re not my intern on weekends,” she says instead. “If you’re going to be technical about it.” Deep inside, Alex knows this is not the most appropriate response, and she knows she’ll likely pay for this later, but _fuck_ it, really, because _right now_ there’s a burning deep in her gut that’s just swirling and swirling and.

“ _Technically_ , huh?” Piper smiles, hand tracing its way down the side of Alex’s face toward the crook of her neck and Alex feels goose bumps break out all over her skin. “So you want to be technical about this?”

“I think you have a fairly good idea what I want,” Alex just says, leaning back in.

*

Piper wakes ahead. On Sundays, Alex makes it a point to sleep in, because it’s the only time she could afford to, and that Sunday is no different. Save for the part where Piper makes inconvenient noises in the kitchen at 9 in the morning.

Alex hears some soft cursing before opening one eye. “Piper?” she calls out from bed. “Everything okay?”

More muffled cursing before Piper shuffles back into the room, looking like a guilty school girl. “Yes,” she says immediately as she approaches the bed and sits upon the edge. “Everything is fine.”

Alex fumbles with her glasses briefly before managing to put them on, squinting at Piper. “What did you _do_?” she asks, trying to keep her laugh in.

“Promise not to hate me?”

“When you put it that way you only make it more impossible.”

“I’m _serious_ ,” says Piper. “Do you promise not to hate me?”

Alex rolls her eyes, sitting up against the headboard. “You have my word,” she says solemnly. “Now, do I have assurance that you haven’t burned my kitchen down yet, or do I have to get out there at the soonest possible time?”

“I think I broke your toaster,” Piper says quickly. “I’m sorry, maybe I should replace it. I _will_ replace it. God, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be operating kitchen equipment while half-awake.”

Alex’s laugh makes its way out of her chest anyway, despite Alex’s efforts. “Jesus, Pipes,” she says. “My what?”

“Toaster, Alex,” Piper repeats. “The red one.”

“You’re _not_ replacing any toasters, okay,” says Alex. “That one’s really broken.”

“It’s really _what_?”

Off Piper’s glare, Alex just shrugs. “Not like I put tags on my broken appliances, I just know which ones are not working,” she says. “I hadn’t—I wasn’t really preparing for a _roommate_ , you know.”

“I almost tried to _fix_ it,” Piper says, her glare softening.

“With what, a glue gun?” Alex teases. To which Piper only responds with a pout. “Come on, Pipes. Let’s get you some breakfast.” She pushes out of bed and gets into her jeans.

Piper blinks. “Where are we going? We’re not breakfasting at the diner, are we, because I swear—”

“It’s a Sunday, Piper,” Alex says, shrugging on a shirt. “Let me show you how I do breakfast on a Sunday.”

*

There’s a small park two blocks from Alex’s apartment that she likes going to on Sunday mornings, because that’s when the small neighbourhood shops set-up for a Sunday brunch market. All of it’s so ridiculously quaint and indie, but the food is _good_ and cheap, and she’s profiled about every one of these small entrepreneurs so they actually like her around here – or at least, enough to get her a free ice cream every other Sunday.

“Your area is so strange,” Piper says, eyes lighting up at the sight of the brunch market stalls. Alex gives the shop owner by the entrance a small wave as they enter.

“I prefer quirky,” Alex says, hands in pockets. “You should try that woman’s nasi goreng over there – best I’ve tasted.”

“I didn’t know you were also a food critic.”

“Just a fan,” Alex says, tugging at Piper’s elbow and showing her around the stores. “It’s the closest I can get to actually travelling.”

Alex knows this market like the back of her hand – it’s the same every Sunday, yet always somewhat refreshing. She’s usually gone alone—flirting with the lady who sells keema or staying for a bit to chat with the woman who makes the best paneers this side of the city—but today, here now with Piper, Alex can’t help but marvel at how _new_ this whole thing is, watching Piper as she chats up most of the store owners for a change, turning the charm on and getting free samples.

 _Watch the girl go,_ Alex thinks.

When Piper starts chatting up the Spanish guy at the churros stand, Alex has to look away. _What the fuck is this,_ Alex wonders, the feeling tugging unpleasantly at her. Standing off to the side, she absently scrolls through her phone book just to make herself seem occupied.

“Hey,” Piper says when she comes back around, offering her churros to Alex. “Want some? These are _good_.”

“That’s just _flour,_ ” Alex replies drily, not looking up.

“He says he fries it in olive oil,” Piper says. “The chocolate dip’s also fantastic.”

“Probably his grandmother’s recipe.”

“ _Alex_.” Piper’s tone is completely new, yet completely recognizable; Alex tries not to flinch as it bounces off her. “Is there a problem?”

Alex shakes her head. _Come on, Vause,_ she tells herself. Still she can’t bring herself to look at Piper. _This is different,_ she thinks. _This is--_ “Nothing,” she says out loud, pocketing her phone. “I’m hungry. You coming?”

Piper goes for the curry, while Alex settles for a gyro. They eat in silence on one of the tables set out on the grass right under the trees.  It’s a beautiful day with the sun out but the breeze cool, yet Alex’s chest still aches; she knows something is _wrong,_ and she knows Piper feels it too.

“Is this about last night?” Piper asks quietly.

 _Everything’s about last night,_ Alex thinks. “What is about last night?”

“Come on, Alex. You’ve been acting weird since Churros Guy.” And then: “Wait. This is about Churros Guy?”

“What are you even talking about, Piper?” Alex asks, focusing on her lunch.

“Were you _jealous_ of Churros Guy?” There’s a small laugh lining Piper’s question, and for some reason it only _infuriates_ Alex more. “Because the thing with Churros Guy was harmless. I did it for the free Churros.”

“So that’s it then? What else do you do for favors?” Alex finds herself asking. _Shit, that was uncalled for._

Piper takes a moment before pushing her chair away from the table. It makes a soft grating sound against the grass. “Fuck you, Alex.”

When Alex looks up, Piper’s chair is empty. _Fucking hell Vause,_ she thinks, finishing her gyro and cleaning up their table. _You truly are a master of handling things wrong._

*

Alex gives Piper a ten-minute head start before getting up and going after her. _It’s a small place,_ she thinks, throwing their leftovers in the trash and dusting her hands. _She can’t get very far._

True enough, she finds Piper across the park, sitting under a tree eating ice cream off a cone. Alex approaches her slowly, like she’s trying to corner a small bird.

“Hey,” Alex says softly. Piper looks up at her, brows still knit. “That seat taken?” Piper takes a cursory look at the empty chair across her before shrugging. Alex helps herself, sitting awkwardly with her hands on her knees, for the lack of anywhere else to put them. “Piper.”

“Hmm?” Piper does not even look at her, choosing to focus on her ice cream instead.

“Look at me kid.” It’s out like an order, and Alex does not really mean it to come across that way – okay, maybe a little, but when Piper meets her eye, she’s looking at her like she’s _challenging_ her, and Alex raises her hands in clarification. “All right – stand down,” Alex says, taking the edges off her words. “Listen, I—”

“I get it, okay,” Piper says quietly, brows evening out as she relishes what remains of her ice cream. "I’m just another girl, aren’t I?”

“That’s not—that wasn’t what I was going to say.”

“For all I know, you do this _every intern round._ How many have there been before me, Alex? Countless, I assume, and this is just, what? Five months?”

“Piper.”

“I feel—this was all just incredibly _stupid,_ ” she continues. “What the fuck was I thinking? Who the hell did I think I was? Oh right – Bill’s daughter. You’re practically _required_ to be nice to me.”

“ _Hey,_ ” Alex says in protest. “That is a totally unfair thing to say.”

“What do you know about _unfair_ things to say?”

Alex pauses at that. She had that coming. “Okay, I deserved that,” she says. “And I’m sorry, okay? What I said earlier about Churros Guy _was_ unfair.” For the first time since Piper walked out, Alex sees the look on her face relax a little. “And for the record, his name is Marco, and he _is_ using his grandmother’s recipe for the dip, I interviewed them a couple of months back.”

“Just when I thought you were already apologizing, you’re still busy being an asshole.”

“I _am_ an asshole,” Alex says, letting slip a small smirk. “Here’s a thing about how it goes from here—I’m going to be difficult,” she says, leaning a bit closer, relieved that Piper doesn’t pull away. “It says a lot that my two best friends are the two biggest fuckers your father ever hired – we stick together for a reason.”

“Tell me who your friends are,” Piper says, though she’s smiling slowly now. _There we go,_ Alex says, noting the upward curl of Piper’s lips. “Go on.”

“I fuck things up. It doesn’t take a lot – I pretty much fuck things up the minute they start getting good, and it’s usually over the smallest of things.”

“Like churros.”

Alex nods, laughing. “Like churros. Precisely.”

“Well then.” Piper breathes in, wiping her ice cream-stained fingers with a napkin before tossing that into the trash. “This is going to be a problem.”

Alex feels herself nodding. “Yeah.”

“I mean—I’ve been an ordinary girl all my life. I like ordinary things. My wants have been ordinary until _you_.” Piper looks at her with a face that’s half-epiphany, half-disbelief. “And it feels fucking _ridiculous_. Because I don’t usually like assholes, but I like _you_.”

There’s a brief wordless gap before Alex’s brain kicks back in with this huge _Fuck it,_ and Alex finds herself reaching out for Piper and pulling her in for a kiss.  _There is no way this is about to end well,_ she just thinks, waiting for Piper to kiss her back. For a moment, Piper just sits there, unbelievably still and stunned. 

Piper recovers, after a while. When she pulls back from the kiss, she touches the back of her hand to her lips. “You’re lucky you’re good at that,” she just says, but she’s smiling and to Alex that is more than enough.


	10. vote of confidence

On Monday morning, Polly drives over and picks Piper up from her dorm. “Why are you _here_?” she asks as she lowers the passenger side window, peering at Piper on the sidewalk. “Why aren’t you at your parents’ or whatever?”

Piper shrugs, evading the questions with a smile and two coffees. “I got you one,” she offers as she slides into the front seat, pulling out the cup holders by the radio.

Polly adjusts her rear view mirror. Without even looking at her, Piper can tell that she’s rolling her eyes. “You have a lot of explaining to do,” Polly says, re-applying her lipstick. They’re stalled on the curb just outside Piper’s dorm, waiting for the green light. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to lie for you _on the spot_?”

Piper sighs. _Here goes._ “I’ve been apologizing since last night,” she says, reaching for her own cup of coffee. “I’m _sorry_.”

“Damn right, Piper,” says Polly, honking at the slow-moving vehicle ahead of them. It’s not exactly the first time she’s had Polly lie for her, but truth be told Piper can’t remember another time when Polly was not actually _fully_ _briefed_ about it beforehand. “Would you tell me now where you were? Were you out with Alex the _entire_ Sunday?”

“Polly—I was just out, okay?” Piper says. She’s never really felt the need to lie to Polly until today. For some reason, she wants to keep Alex to herself. _Or at least for now._

“ _Bullshit_ ,” says Polly. “What is going on? Is Alex asking you to _lie_ for her?”

“What?” Piper asks, blinking. “No, I—no Polly, that is _not_ what is happening here.”

“Then _what exactly_ is happening here?” Polly demands, stopping at every stop light to make sure Piper sits in her car for as long as humanly possible. “Why am I suddenly getting a _very_ truncated version of Saturday night?”

Piper sighs. If she were being totally honest, she’d been looking forward to telling Polly about everything, down to the last small detail, but there’s something about that brunch market fight that somewhat scared her. “It’s complicated,” she says instead.

“Like that gets you off the hook at all.”

“I know.”

Polly shakes her head, paying attention to the road for a long wordless while, as Piper hangs on to her cup of coffee. “You totally owe me for covering your ass. You know how much I hate taking surprise phone calls from your dad?”

“Come on Polly. You love my dad.”

“Not when he’s being, well, a dad.”

Piper winces; she has a fairly good idea what that’s like. “Sorry. My dad’s horrible on the phone.”

“Anybody with a missing daughter would be horrible on the phone,” Polly says. They’ve been through this, but then Piper supposes she deserves every bit of it again this morning. “I had to hang up, and _then_ I tried calling you—”

“For the nth time, I’m sorry my phone was unattended.”

“Yeah, you could have told me, hey I’m seeing Alex tonight _by the way_ I am also dropping off the face of the planet for the next twenty hours. _Jesus._ ”

“Hey, remember the time we had no mobile phones, and everybody had to settle for landlines and snail mail and telegrams.”

“And messengers on horseback,” Polly chimes in. “But these days are not days you go without texts for more than three hours, Piper. And at least pick up when your dad’s calling for crying out loud.”

Piper remembers that moment her dad’s phone call came in; it was four in the morning and they were in bed and _Christ,_ how she’d almost thrown the thing out the window. “I don’t think that would have been a good idea,” she just says.

“Figured as much,” Polly says. She’s grinning like she doesn’t really mean to but cannot help herself anyhow; Piper feels herself relax considerably. “Are you going to tell me about Saturday night, or am I left to draw my own conclusions here?”

“I will, okay,” Piper says, as Polly turns slowly into the main street where their offices are, the Monday morning rush hour in their faces. “Just give me some time to wrap my head around it.”

“All right.” Polly stops in front of Piper’s office and turns to her. “You owe me lunch.”

“And dinner, and drinks, okay?” Piper leans in to give Polly a kiss on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

“Tell me something I don’t know for a change,” Polly says, waiting for Piper to shut the door.

*

When she gets to their wing, it’s still empty; _of course,_ Piper thinks, lowering her bag onto her table. It’s too early on a Monday, and Piper takes the quiet in, drinking her coffee while staring at Alex’s empty chair.

_Alex._ The name puts an extra thud in her chest. She’s spent half the night trying to convince herself not to panic about the weekend. _Relax. Wasn’t that what she said?_ Piper tries to keep her laugh in, the sound coming out like a strained cough.

_Relax. Sure._ Piper breathes in, closing her eyes and trying to keep the image of Alex’s naked silhouette from Saturday night out of her head. _Shit. This is exactly what I expected._ Piper lets the shiver course through her—it’s something that starts from deep in her gut and radiates outward, until they feel like they’re flames licking at her fingertips.

_Licking like flames._ The phrase puts a blush on Piper’s face. _Not exactly the best place to remember_ that. Piper finds herself squirming in her seat and crossing her legs, suddenly feeling very embarrassingly warm. _Thank fuck I’m alone here then._

Piper looks at her phone and thinks about calling Alex. _Too clingy,_ Piper thinks, dropping her phone back into her bag. Besides, Alex is still technically her boss. _You can’t just call your boss to ask why she isn’t in yet, can you?_

“No,” Piper finds herself saying out loud to the empty cubicle.

“Chapman?”

Piper nearly drops her coffee in surprise, turning her face toward the cubicle’s entrance. The sound of steps in the hallway is quickly followed by Nicky’s face. “Jesus, Nicky,” Piper says, breathing out. “Sorry, you—I thought I was alone.”

“Come in at this hour and you’d really be,” Nicky says, smiling. “You’re really early.”

“ _You’re_ really early, too,” says Piper.

“Eh, I like getting a head start while it’s quiet. Closing’s upon us.”

“Right, of course.” Piper’s never been alone with Nicky before – hell, she’s never been alone with _anyone_ from here except Alex. _There goes that name again._ Piper uncrosses her legs, tugging at the hem of her blouse.

“Where’s Vause?” asks Nicky. There’s a grin on her face that Piper doesn’t quite understand. “She’s usually early.”

Piper shrugs. “I—I don’t know,” she says. “Am I supposed to know?”

“Vause _is_ kind of elusive,” Nicky says. “We never quite know where she is sometimes. But yeah, I guess you _should_ know –if she’s not coming in, then you should at least have the day off.”

“Wait a minute—there’s a chance she’s not coming in?”

“Vause rarely absents herself. It’s like a complex or something,” Nicky says, laughing. “Unless she’s sick, of course. Hey listen, Chapman. Why don’t you give her a call, just to make sure?”

 “Call her?” Piper repeats. _Sure. Like you haven’t done that before?_ “I’m not sure I’m allowed to do that.”

“If she complains, remind her who your father is.”

“ _Hey,_ ” Piper says, her tone rising just slightly. “That’s totally unfair. And I would _totally_ not.”

Nicky smiles. “I knew there’s a reason I actually kind of like you. You tickle me,” she says, pulling out a rolled up newspaper from her back pocket. “Oh, and you should see today’s paper. I think your profile’s out.”

Piper watches as Nicky tosses the paper onto the table; the thing unfurls slowly. “Thank you,” she says, feeling for her phone. _That can come later._ “I’ll call Alex now.”

The thing rings and rings, and Piper almost hangs up before Alex finally gets to it, coughing into the receiver. “Piper?” she asks, tone incredulous, like she hasn’t been talking to Piper _at all_ over the weekend.

“Hey,” says Piper softly. When she catches Nicky giving her a confused look, Piper clears her throat. “Nicky’s wondering if you’re coming in today.”

“Nicky?” Alex lets a laugh escape her briefly before coughing again. “Sorry kid. I was going to call as soon as I woke.”

“Oh,” Piper says, feeling a bit deflated. “Sorry, I—did I wake you?”

“It’s all right, Pipes,” Alex says, sniffing. _When did this happen?_ Piper wonders, remembering Alex from the day before. “And you can tell Nicky I’ll call her in a few, all right? Go take the day off or something. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

The disappointment in Piper’s chest blooms like a new bruise. _When did this happen?_ Piper knows the question isn’t just about Alex being ill anymore. “Okay,” she finds herself saying, hanging up.

“So?”

It jolts Piper to realize that Nicky has been standing there all along. “I think Alex is sick,” Piper says, not looking at Nicky. “She says she’ll call you though.”

Nicky shrugs, pushing herself off the edge of the cubicle wall. “All right,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets. “So I guess you’ll be going off now?”

Piper looks around. The cubicle feels a bit colder. When she looks at the table, the newspaper is still there, and she reaches over to pick it up. “Maybe in a bit. Maybe I’ll check in with my dad when he comes in.”

Nicky nods at her before walking away. “See you around, Chapman.”

Piper listens and waits for Nicky’s footsteps to fade down the hallway before she turns to her newspaper. The profile is not on the front-page, of course; unless specifically assigned for the Page One desk, profiles like that never do. She scans the main section briefly, her excitement growing with every page she passes.

When she gets to the Business Features section, Piper feels her fingers tingling; her heart throbs painfully in her chest. When she turns to the main spread, she marvels at how _huge_ the space is, in the first place. _Hello, big advertiser,_ she finds herself whistling, before her eyes fall on the headline, and the small section of bold text under it.

_By Alex Vause, Entrepreneur Section senior reporter._

Piper blinks, scanning the article. _This is it, right?_ She checks and checks, brows knit. Down the page she recognizes the snippets she wrote – some barely recognizable, some verbatim. Further down, she finds the quotes Alex insisted on revising, all the stutter and pauses laced in, and for a moment she remembers Vera’s voice, her careful silences and steady tone.

_She sounded like a woman who would be upset at a less-than-perfect depiction,_ Piper thinks, going further down. She spots more familiar turns of phrase. _I wrote this,_ Piper thinks, fingers tracing the print, her hand coming away ink-stained.

She finds her name at the very end of it, attached like an afterthought: _With a report from Piper Chapman, contributor._

_That’s it?_ Piper asks herself, decidedly underwhelmed. Truth be told, she’d looked forward to this moment with an extraordinary sense of hope – like she expects herself to be filled with an all-too-warm glow of _pride_ at the sight of her name finally in print.

Instead she feels kind of disappointed, actually. _Didn’t I deserve a byline?_ Before she catches herself at it, she’s already back on the phone, and Alex is already on the other end.

“Piper?”

“The profile’s out today,” Piper says, putting on a cheery tone. “Did you see?”

“Piper, look.” The way Alex’s tone shifts tells Piper she knows _exactly_ what this phone call is about.

“I think I deserved that byline, Alex. Didn’t you?”

There’s a pause on the other line before Alex goes, “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“So you _didn’t_ think I deserved a byline. Huh. And this _never_ figured in any of our conversations about the piece?”

“Look—I _don’t_ have the last say on bylines, okay?”

“Of course not,” Piper just says before hanging up. Deep inside, she knows Alex is telling the truth – she’s not _that_ naive, but then, just thinking about not having Alex’s vote of confidence sickens her to the core.

Piper’s phone vibrates on the table as Alex’s name starts flashing on the screen. She reaches in, holding it for a moment before swiping to cancel. _Fuck that._ The time on her phone says it’s just past ten, and she thinks her father should be in already.

_What good would that do?_ Piper tries to sit still for a moment; tries to clear her mind. _Eh. Why the fuck not, right?_ she thinks as she prepares to leave her cubicle, phone back in her pocket.

Besides, she thinks her dad would be happy to see her.

*

She approaches her dad’s door slowly, carefully; like she’s trying not to intrude. When she peeks into his office, she sees him playing chess on his desktop. _This nerd,_ she thinks fondly, touching her knuckles softly to the door.

“Dad?”

Bill Chapman takes his time turning around, raising his non-mouse-holding hand in the air. “Wait a sec,” he says, moving his knight before sighing. “That was a bad move.”

“Really?” Piper says, coming closer. She looks at the board on the screen, sees the knight sitting on the square as a two-way threat to a bishop and a rook. “From here it’s either rook or bishop. Definitely the rook though?”

“That was what I was thinking, but look at this.”

Piper perches herself upon the edge of his desk and watches the computer make its move. _Oh no. Checkmate in two._ Away from the knight-bishop-rook action, the computer has managed to corner her father’s King by capturing a pawn.

“I always fall for that bishop-rook thing,” her father says, laughing as he turns to her. “It’s too irresistible.”

Piper bites her lip, her mind wandering briefly upon hearing the word. “You’ve seen that before?”

“The computer’s predictable that way,” he says, reaching for the day’s paper, sitting perfectly folded on the other end of his desk. “Yet somehow, the match still manages to end this way.”

“What, do you just forget how it goes?” Piper asks, laughing a little.

“Sometimes,” her father admits. “Other times, I’m just wondering if it’s going to do things differently.”

“And does it ever?” Piper considers for a moment if her father knows something before she even tells him. _Stop being paranoid, Piper._

Her father shakes his head. “Never,” he says. “You know what it means, when you do something the same way repeatedly yet expect different results?”

“Optimism?” Piper offers.

Bill looks her in the eye levelly, like he’s trying to really get her to listen. “Insanity, Piper,” he says, grin spreading slowly across his lips. “That’s the definition of insanity.”

When her father starts laughing, Piper finds it hard not to laugh along. It’s been a while since the last time they were alone like this.

“Your profile’s out today,” he says, changing the subject. “Vera called me this morning.”

_Vera._ Piper feels something get lodged in her throat, remembering why she came here in the first place. “Did she—what did she say?”

Shrugging, he says, “Nothing major.”And then, “Congratulations on your first tagline.”  

Piper tries to smile. She doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful or proud, but something in her is even a bit _embarrassed_ , in a way she couldn’t really explain. “I’m looking forward to my first byline now,” she says carefully, keeping the smile on. A real challenge, she soon finds. “Have you read it?”

“I read everything before they come out, remember?”

_Of course._ Piper shifts her gaze downward, staring at the wooden gleam of her father’s desk self-consciously. “Oh. Right.”

“Where were you this weekend?” he asks, shifting topics again. “I called Polly.”

Piper takes a long pause before: “Polly’s a bad liar, isn’t she?”

“You should tell her to work on that.”

“I have been,” Piper nods. “I guess she’s just out of practice.”

“Or the whole Serious Dad Phone Call just throws her, no?”

Piper looks up and smiles. “You’re getting better at that, aren’t you?” And then, “Sorry about Saturday. I just needed to get out.”

“You’re a big girl,” he says, smiling right back. “Remember those corners.”

“Yes sir.” Piper breathes out. _Now that’s out of the way._ “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“When things get to your desk, do they already have bylines?”

Her father gives her a confused look. “They do,” he says. “They usually put that on the section level. They know who deserves it. I rarely mess with that – writers are a pretty touchy bunch.”

_They know who deserves it._ Piper feels the words piercing through her like newly sharpened knives. _Alex._ “Oh,” she says, swallowing hard. “Thanks Dad.”

“Anytime, honey.”

Piper walks backwards slowly. She thinks about calling Polly. Or just getting into her car and driving around for a while. That used to work. Or maybe she could go drinking. _But not driving—there’s room for only one of these things._ When she shifts her eyes back to her dad, he’s already busy leafing through the newspaper pages.

“Hey Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you move me out of Entrep?”

Bill peeks from behind his newspaper slowly. “Say that again?”

“I think I’m done with Entrep.”

“You did _one_ feature. Off a transcript.”

“Come on Dad,” says Piper.

“Is it Vause? Because Vause is difficult, sure, but she’s—”

“Alex is brilliant, okay? I learned a lot from her.” _And by a lot, I mean._ Piper breathes in, trying to shake the flashes out of her head. _Not a good time._ “But I want to learn from other people too.”

“That’s what the interviews are for. I’ll ask Alex to take you on a real interview next.”

“ _Dad._ ” Piper takes an even deeper breath, trying not to appear so _defeated._ “Just. Do this for me, all right? Get me out of Entrep.”

Bill sighs, taking out his planner. “Jesus. I knew five days with Vause is some kind of a record already,” he says, shaking his head. “Is Entrep really _that_ boring?”

_That, or she drives her interns crazy by sleeping with them and not giving them bylines._ Piper blinks, catching herself with that horrible train of thought. _Jesus Christ, Piper. Can you even hear yourself?_

“Piper.”

“I heard Nicky needs more interns in Tech.”

“ _Tech?”_ Bill asks, incredulous. “Yes, Nicky always seems to enjoy _interns_ , but I doubt Tech’s going to be any more interesting than profiling small-to-medium enterprises.”

“Come _on,_ ” Piper says, gritting her teeth. “There must be a couple of start-up geniuses I could talk to.”

Bill shrugs, writing it down. “I suppose,” he says. He looks at Piper one last time before removing his glasses. “Final answer?”

Piper nods. “Thanks Dad.”

“You’re telling Vause?”

Piper’s hand stills around the door knob as she considers the question. _And what would I say? Thanks for your vote of non-confidence?_ “Better if it comes from you.”

“I knew it.”

Piper smiles one last time before pulling the door shut. “You’re the best, Dad.”

*

Polly picks up after two rings. “Piper?” She’s whispering into the receiver, and that’s usually not a good sign – or at least, where Piper’s concerned it isn’t, as it usually means Polly is not in the best place to talk. “Now’s not a good time.”

“This won’t take long,” Piper says, catching her own eyes in the mirror. She’s talking in the bathroom again. Also not a good sign.

“You’re in the bathroom again, aren’t you.”

“You really are truly terrifying sometimes, do you know that?” asks Piper. “Also, even if you’re not asking -- I’m free the entire day.”

“You are?” Polly asks, tone hitching. There’s a chorus of shushing in the background, to which Polly apologizes immediately. “What’s going on?”

“Do you want the long version or the short one?”

“Piper, I’m in a _meeting_.”

“Okay, the short one then,” Piper sighs. _Where do I start?_ “I think I slept with an asshole.” Polly’s end goes so silent that Piper has to check if she’s still there. “Polly?”

Quietly, Polly starts laughing, so soft that Piper would have missed it entirely if she hadn’t been listening in so closely in the first place. “Jesus, Piper,” Polly says. “I don’t know what exactly to make of this information.”

“Well,” Piper begins. “You could keep it to yourself then tell me later how you’ve seen this coming all along?”

“You know what?” says Polly. “That doesn’t sound like a half-bad idea at all.”

*


	11. integrated schemes

Alex stares at her phone and lets it ring, trying to drink her tea calmly as she moves around the house. She picks up after the sixth consecutive try, admiring Nicky’s persistence.

“Nicky,” she greets. “What part of _I’ll call you_ did you not understand?”

“Aw, come on Vause,” Nicky says. Alex can imagine her walking around the newsroom, grinning from ear to ear. “You _never_ call. What’s the deal?”

Alex sniffs, trying to keep an oncoming sneeze at bay. “Piper didn’t tell you? I’m sick, Nichols. I’m skipping work today.”

“So Piper’s said,” Nicky says, though her tone betrays a sort of disbelief. _True to form,_ Alex thinks. “Weekend too hard on you?”

“Fuck off,” says Alex, though her tone is not unkind. “Can’t a girl be under the weather from time to time?”

“What happened to you after you skipped happy hour at The Island on Saturday night?”

“ _Nicky_.”

“Come on. Can’t a girl be curious?”

Alex laughs. “I am touched by your concern,” she says, coughing lightly. “Thank you.”

“Alex, jeez. Quit going around in circles here and just tell me what is going on.”

 _Cutting right through to the center of things, aren’t we?_ Alex clears her throat and listens in as Nicky focuses on the other end. She can imagine Nicky standing still with her phone pressed hard against her ear, eyes squinted because she’s _in the zone._ Alex finds it almost funny, but she holds in her laugh. _Maybe some other time._

“Nothing is going on, Nichols,” Alex says.

“Oh please,” counters Nicky. “You’re not even really sick, are you?” Alex bites down on her lip. _Here we go._ “You’re never sick Vause, come on. Something’s up, and I want in.”

Alex sighs, glancing at the newspaper she has left open on her table. The profile’s out today, as expected, and her name’s alone in the byline. _Piper will probably be pissed,_ she thinks, sliding her gaze down to Piper’s tagline at the end of it. Alex remembers how furious she was too when she got her first tag. “Profile’s out today,” she tells Nicky.

“So I’ve seen,” Nicky replies. “Surprised Chapman didn’t make it to the byline, though. I was so sure.”

“Didn’t want her to think she’d have it easy,” Alex just says.

“She’d probably hate you though.”

“Three guesses why I’m not there today.”

“Hah!” Nicky’s laugh almost sounds too near. “Fucking _called_ it,” she says. “You’re not sick. You’re _hiding._ ”

 _Hiding._ When Nicky puts it that way, it sounds a lot more ridiculous than it actually is. “I like my version of my situation better.”

“Whatever gets you through the day,” Nicky says. “So. How long are you planning to wait it out?”

“You say that like it’s a storm or something,” Alex says. “But if you’re asking when you’re going to see my face again, my answer is _tomorrow_. God, Nicky. Are you secretly HR now?”

Nicky laughs. “You think Jenna would have me if I begged?”

“Not if she’s in her right mind.”

“Fine, be that way,” Nicky says. “Do get better soon Vause. Your cubicle’s empty.”

“See you tomorrow, weirdo.” Alex hangs up, letting her phone fall onto the couch.  _Hiding, huh?_ Alex tries the word out in her head, marvelling at its juvenile appeal.

_So what? It’s only for the meantime._

*

Alex tries not to think about the weekend, losing herself in books instead. She looks through her shelves -- she’s had some of these on her reading list since _forever_ , and truth be told, she even recognizes some of the books as borrowed.

 _Shit,_ she says lifting an old Murakami off the shelf. _You’re still here?_ She recognizes it as an old girlfriend’s copy of _South of the Border, West of the Sun._ It’s from two or three lifetimes ago, or so it _feels_ – touching the spine, Alex is taken back to her former cubicle, the one she had prior to moving floors, and she remembers how that corner used to smell of some old office air freshener.

The girl she was seeing at the time was an old friend from university – it was one of those in-betweens, and Alex remembers being young and _needing_ someone. In the end, it was all a very unattractive sort of desperation.

 _And now, I even have a book to remember it by,_ she just thinks, a small laugh escaping her lips as she puts it back. _An old book for an old time._

 _How many were there before me?_ Piper’s question hits her out of nowhere, like a brief flash of light. _This is why I hate being idle._ Alex tries not to think about _those_ Pipers – the one that sat in the Serbian restaurant drinking too much tequila, or that one that sat in the diner across, waiting.

 _Nope._ Alex tries to shake the weekend off her shoulders. Instead, she tries to focus on the Piper that would probably be pissed at the tag for Vera’s profile. _That one,_ she thinks, feeling something click in her head. _Stubborn, headstrong Piper. Wouldn’t-lose-an-argument-if-she-could-help-it Piper._

 _Like that’s any less attractive._ Alex screws her eyes shut.

_This is going to be one hell of a fucker._

*

Alex approaches Bill’s door slowly. She doesn’t want to do this – been putting it off, actually, but Bill _likes_ these post-mortems too much that there’s really no use trying to escape them. Besides, it’s not like this is her first post-mortem – she’s been sitting here for these post-mortems since her promotion to senior, and really, can anything be worse than that time she had to sit through Bill’s hour-long lecture about writing profiles that won’t make construction magnates want to pull out all their advertising for the next three months?

 _I guess not,_ Alex just thinks, hand on the door knob. _Or maybe we’re about to find out._

“Vause.” Bill looks up from his newspaper and adjusts his glasses. “Good to see you, have a seat.”

“Bill,” Alex nods curtly, lowering herself slowly in front of Bill’s desk. “How are you?”

“I’m great—thank you for asking,” he says, leaning closer to Alex. “You look pale. I haven’t seen you these past couple of days. Everything all right?”

Alex clears her throat. “Just a bug,” she says, coughing for emphasis. “Nothing that wouldn’t clear out over the next few days.”

“Good, good.” Bill nods thoughtfully before settling his eyes on her. Like this, he feels like he’s about to scold Alex for something, and Alex almost flinches at the imaginary words. “The feedback to Vera’s profile has been great so far.”

Alex looks at him, brows knit. “Really?”

“You don’t seem convinced.”

Truth be told, she’s had better interviews. Vera was... an _interesting_ conversationalist, but so _guarded_. “I think I could have done it better.”

“Did having Piper write a portion of it cramp your style?”

Alex sighs. _Now, for the really hard part._ “That’s not what I meant.”

“Part of this post-mortem is an intern update, as you must have figured out. And it’s not just because Piper’s my daughter--I’d really like to know how everyone’s doing.”

“Piper’s fine,” Alex says, almost choking on the words. “It’s just—I _wanted_ to put her on the byline, I really did, but—”

“Vause,” Bill interrupts, his tone steady. “I _know_ why she wasn’t bylined to begin with – I understand why you put her as a tag, and I support it. I could have just easily put her as a byline beside your name, right? But I didn’t – because I trusted your judgment. I still do.”

Alex blinks. She’s never heard any of this before. “You do?”

“I do,” Bill nods, looking at her like _he’s_ surprised she doesn’t know this for a fact. “Besides, she’ll get over it; bylines are earned, and they’re not by transcripts. Do you remember your first byline, Vause?”

Every writer remembers the first time she sees her name in print under a headline. For Alex, she was already eight months and five major articles in. “It was an explanatory piece on subprime mortgages,” Alex says. She remembers the horrible legwork for that—the analysts she had to interview and all those computations she had to double-check with various sources. It was this huge, exciting challenge, but she’ll _never_ do that again. “That was a lot of work.”

“I heard Piper was trawling through your early work, but she never mentioned that – she must have missed your break-out piece,” Bill says. He’s smiling now as he leans back into his chair, hands clasped together.

Alex looks down, a bit embarrassed. “She’s into the profiles more.”

“Ah,” says Bill, chair creaking under him. When Alex looks back up, he’s turning back to his computer. “Let’s hope then she gets profile assignments where she’s moving.”

 _Wait. What?_ Alex feels the blood freeze in her veins. “She’s _moving_?”

“Oh, right. About that,” Bill sighs, possibly trying to ignore how nearly translucent Alex’s skin must already be by now. Alex feels the air around her grow colder. “Piper’s moving to Tech.”

“ _Tech?_ ” Alex asks, incredulous. _She doesn’t even like Nicky._ “Why would Piper even want to be transferred to Tech?”

Bill shrugs. “I don’t always agree with Piper’s life decisions,” he admits. “Though I’ve never stopped her from making any of her mistakes.” _Fair enough._ Alex is still speechless when Bill dismisses her.  “Well, I wouldn’t keep you any longer. I suppose you’ve got things to finish. You can go now Vause. ”

Alex pushes herself to her feet slowly. Suddenly, she feels so _weightless,_ her knees feeling conspicuously missing. _Absence of weight is not always a bad thing,_ she reminds herself, trying to think about it as a weight lifted off her shoulders. _Besides. Lone wolf, right? Alone again, naturally._

 _Naturally._ When Alex reaches the door after what feels like _eons_ , Bill calls out to her. “Alex?” She looks over her shoulder so quickly she feels a strain on her neck. Bill almost _never_ calls her Alex.

“Sir?”

“Can you keep an eye on Piper? I have a fair idea what Boo and Nicky are up to with the _interns_ this time around, and while I think we’re all already adults here – I want Piper to have none of that. Clear?”

Alex hopes the dread she suddenly feels doesn’t make it to her eyes. She adjusts her glasses and clears her throat, the room suddenly feeling devoid of air. “Piper’s a big girl, you know,” she finds herself saying.

“I know,” Bill says. “Sometimes, that’s the frightening part.” When Alex catches his eye, he just nods and waves at her, like he’s shooing her away. “Leave me with my sentimental dad crap,” he says, smiling. “I expect your story line-up for next week’s issue in my email tonight.”

Alex stands there, for a moment confused. “But I already sent you my line-up for this coming issue last week.”

“Send a new one—I don’t like it.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Alex feels her voice hitch. _Here’s where I almost forget that this man actually actively hates me._ “But we already have materials for that issue.”

“We can always use those for a slower week. Here,” Bill says, offering Alex a folder off his desk. “Trawl through these and put together a new line-up – and do it like you mean it.”

Alex sighs as she walks back over to retrieve the folder. “All right,” she says, studying the stack of papers briefly. “You’ll get your line-up tomorrow.”

“I said tonight.”

Alex turns around to hide her eye roll. “Best effort,” she just says, marching toward the door.

*

“Hey Vause.”

Alex looks up from her phone and scans the room for the direction of the sound—which she eventually traces from the right-most corner of her row, some seven empty seats away. Alex pockets her phone as she moves quietly, transferring from the middle of the room to the space beside Nicky and Boo. Around them, the room starts filling slowly as people start coming in for Bill’s multiplatform planning meeting, the first for the quarter – and, if tradition holds, probably the only one of its sort for the entire year.

“Hey,” Alex says, nodding at at the two. “Any advancers on what this one’s about?”

Boo looks around before lowering her voice. “Heard there’s going to be a big event two months from now – like a summit of sorts? I think like a road show, but bigger. Bill summoned me to his office last week.”

“ _Everybody_ was in Bill’s office last week,” Nicky whines. “Were _you_ called in, Vause?”

Alex shrugs. She hasn’t talked to Nicky since finding out about Piper’s move to Tech—a part of her didn’t want to _acknowledge_ it, to a degree _._ “I was,” she says instead, nodding. “He had me re-do my line-up then and there.”

“What?” Boo asks, incredulous. “Did you do something to Piper to piss him off?”

“Man, you should have given her that byline,” Nicky adds.

Alex clears her throat. “ _Hey_ ,” she says, trying to temper her tone. “It had nothing to do with the byline, Christ. Bill had some profiles he wanted to feature sooner, is all.”

“Whew,” Nicky says, exaggerating an exhale of relief. “Hope springs eternal then.”

Alex scoffs. _That damned bet again._ “I won’t be so sure about that.”

“Oooh,” Boo says, whistling low. “Where did that come from?”

“Yeah—haven’t seen your girl for _days_ ,” says Nicky. “Something up?”

 Alex turns her head, shooting Nicky a confused look. “Isn’t she supposed to be reporting to you?”

“What?” Nicky asks back. “No, she hasn’t—I haven’t seen her either. What is going on?”

“Piper asked to be moved out of Entrep,” says Alex, trying not to sound so betrayed. _Fucking get over it, Vause. Not like she’s yours._ “Bill told me when he called me in. He said Piper asked to be moved to Tech.”

Boo laughs, looking away and shaking her head—like she’s just been told that she’s losing the grand bet by _at least fifty points._ Nicky laughs herself, but with a muted sort of disbelief.

“What the fuck did you do, Alex?” Nicky asks. “And I thought you two were getting along just fine.”

“Vause _always_ gets along with her interns. Remember?”

Alex shoves Boo lightly. “Fuck off. We _were_ getting along just fine – and not in the way you probably mean,” she says, coughing lightly as the lie chafes her throat. “But Nicky – you _haven’t_ seen her?”

“Bill hasn’t even mentioned anything to me.”

“Strange,” Alex says, feeling for her phone in her pocket. _Where the fuck is she?_ she thinks. She can’t decide if she’s more furious or worried. _You don’t skip out like that—you tell someone._

 _Yeah_ , Alex sighs. _Because you’re so good at that, aren’t you Vause?_ She shifts her gaze back to the front, where Bill is already taking his place behind his podium. He turns the microphone on and clears his throat, effectively silencing the room of about twenty of his staff, now simultaneously pocketing their phones and pulling out pens and notebooks.

“Thanks for making time for this meeting,” Bill says, motioning for his assistant sitting near the projector to remove the lens cover, revealing the first slide.

There’s a chorus of _Ooohs_ and _Wows_ from the crowd—Bill starts his presentation like he does his articles: With a really efficient lead slide, one that hooks everyone in for the entire ride.

“A trade, motor _and_ tech expo rolled into one?” Nicky mutters under her breath, her face flushed with excitement. “How does Bill even score these gigs?”

Alex leans back into her seat and crosses her legs, removing her glasses briefly. Bill looks at her like he’s checking for her reaction; Alex just arches her brow right at him, like she’s saying, _Bring it on._

“Jesus,” Boo sighs. “I mean, sure he said something about a huge Motoring event, but I didn’t expect it to be _this_ huge.”

“Well. Not like Samsung and Hyundai have suddenly announced they’re now making cars _together_ ,” Alex says, putting her glasses back on to read the next slide. “But damn, this looks _pretty_ close.”

“So, what do you think?” Bill says on the microphone. “I’m thinking we’re going to set it up like we’re covering an electoral convention.” The room fills with the sound of people scribbling furiously and turning pages of notebooks, as Bill’s next slide features the timeline: Teasers by the end of the month, short advancers a week after that, and a nine-day special series on related issues for Page One.

“Nine days?” Nicky says in disbelief. “Even if we split it evenly three-way, that’s still _three_ Tech articles I have to write for Page One editors.” Alex laughs; Nicky _hates_ Page One with the fury of a hundred suns. As expected, her hand shoots up in the air, and Bill recognizes her with a nod.

“Glad you’re onboard, Nicky,” he says, smiling.

“This series on your timeline,” says Nicky, glancing down at her notebook and tapping against the corner of it with her pen. “When’s your target?”

“It’s a run-up thing,” says Bill. “We end the series on the day of the event itself.”

“That gives us roughly a month and a half,” says Boo.

“More than enough time, I think,” Bill says confidently. “We’ll have a separate editorial meeting just to discuss that, and of course, our coverage angles. But that’s details,” he says, checking his notes. “Right now, we have people from Corporate and Marketing joining us, then a couple from the web and social media – I think it’s a good time to test our integrated schemes.”

 _Integrated schemes._ Alex chuckles softly to herself upon hearing Bill’s new favorite buzzword. _He’s always about integrated this and that._

“Three guesses what the next word’s going to be,” Nicky says under her breath.

“ _Synergies,_ ” says Bill up front, and beside Nicky, Boo cannot stop herself from laughing out loud. “Something funny, Boo?”

Boo shakes her head. “Nothing, sir,” she says. “This is all nerves.” Now everybody in the room is laughing, albeit a bit nervously, too.

“Look,” says Bill. “I know I’m basically asking you to launch this huge thing with barely two months lead time—but this is precisely why we have to work together, okay?” Murmurs of assent fill the room, and Alex just exhales, nodding along. _Like we have a choice on the matter?_

“My assistant will send you this presentation and set up smaller group meetings within the week, so keep your nights open. You must have already met my daughter, Piper?”

Alex looks up slowly, feeling all the air go out of her lungs. Piper looks around the room, smiling and waving. She deliberately does not look in their direction.

“Man, that's cold—even for you,” says Nicky, leaning closer. “She must be _really_ pissed with that tag.”

“Jesus, these entitled children,” says Boo.

Alex shakes her head. "Whatever," she just says, shrugging. She follows Piper around the room with her eyes, watching as Piper shakes hands with the people her father introduces to her, mostly executives from Marketing and Corporate who are now handing her their cards.

Alex remembers the day she gave Piper hers; the memory of it makes her fingertips itch.

"You're staring Vause," Nicky says, nudging her with an elbow.

"This meeting is done, by the way," Bill says, reclaiming the microphone. "Corporate, Marketing and Web -- please stay, I rarely see you." And then, turning to _their_ corner: "The three of you -- in my office within the week. Bring ideas."

"Gotcha," Nicky and Boo chorus, flipping their notebooks shut and pocketing their pens. Alex just nods, finally meeting Piper's eyes. The blank look on her face throws Alex, but just a little. _Maybe I should have paid better attention,_ she finds herself thinking, finally admitting that perhaps she'd indeed underestimated the effect of that tagline on Piper.

"Look Vause," says Nicky, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder. "We got places to be, but you -- I think your work here is still undone." Nicky glances over at Piper before giving Alex a meaningful shove. "Good luck with _that_."

Alex smiles. "Fuck off, the two of you."

"Good luck Alex," Boo says, patting her other shoulder in kind.

Alex shoos them away with a flick of her wrist. _God,_ she thinks, watching them go out the door. _If that wasn't just the most depressing, least assuring pep talk EVER._

The crowd in the room thins slowly as people exit the meeting one by one, passing by Bill and Piper to hand in their emails. Piper shakes all of their hands, all these people standing in line, like she were standing beside a coffin at a wake. Alex hangs around at the back, leaning against the back wall, watching the scene with a small smile on her face.

“Vause,” Bill calls out as the last person goes through the door. “You in charge of cleaning up?” He looks at her like he’s saying, _I know why you’re still here._

Alex nods. “Sure,” she says, pushing herself off the wall and walking toward the podium. Piper looks at her like she’s alarmed, one hand on the keyboard of her laptop, presumably to shut it down.

Bill looks at her before looking at Piper. “Okay then,” he says, shrugging. “I’ll leave you two at it. See you back at the office, Piper.”

Piper takes a moment before replying with a soft, “Sure, dad.” Alex waits for him to disappear into the lobby before helping with the LCD.

“Let me,” Alex says, hand meeting Piper’s around the cords. Piper jerks her hand away in surprise, pulling back like she’d just been scalded. “Kid. _Relax_.”

Piper lets out a small, shaky laugh. “Sorry,” she says. “You surprised me.”

Alex nods, quietly gathering the cord. “Speaking of surprises,” she begins, securing the cord with Velcro before putting it away. “Your dad told me you wanted to be moved from Entrep.”

Piper shrugs. “Figured I’d do the whole tour-the-newsroom thing,” she just says, taking the main LCD and pushing it into the bag. “See what I can learn from different parts of the whole.”

“Hmm,” Alex just says, turning away to gather the microphones. “Nothing to do with your tagline?”

Piper pauses at that as Alex holds her breath. After a while, Piper laughs out loud – too loud to be convincing, actually. “What? Of course not,” she says, moving to the far end of the room to switch the lights off. With the windows partly open, the room’s lit just enough for Alex to see where Piper’s standing.

“Really?” asks Alex, moving across the room slowly.

“I know bylines are hard-earned, Alex.”

“So... you’re not upset then?”

Piper sighs and is quiet for a while. “Fine,” she says, moments later. “Maybe I was. A little. I don’t know. After that weekend, I had... _expectations._ ”

Alex takes another step closer in the dark, gently taking Piper’s shoulders in her hands. “Look, Pipes. The weekend had nothing to do with the tagline. You know that right?”

“I do, it’s just that—well. This confuses me, you know?” Piper says, breathing in. “ _You_ confuse me.”

 _That makes two of us._ Alex proceeds to rub Piper’s shoulders slowly, trying to soothe her.

“Maybe we _are_ better apart.” Piper says, her shoulders deflating from under Alex’s hands.

 _She doesn’t really mean that; she just wants to know how it feels like to actually say it._ “No, we’re not,” Alex says.

Piper sighs, pulling away from Alex. “No,” she says, inhaling. “We’re not.”

Silence falls over them. “We’d make a good team, you know,” says Alex after a while. The thing feels like a confession, and it’s so horribly _true_ that Alex feels too open and raw. _This girl is going to break my heart someday,_ she thinks. _And I’m about to let her._

“We would,” Piper nods, a small smile finally making it to her lips. Alex finds herself smiling right back. “So. Would you like to schedule your next meeting, then?”

“Friday night after closing sounds good,” Alex says.

Piper smiles wider, looking at her before writing it down. “Friday night sounds great,” she says. “I’ll see you around Alex.”

Alex waits for Piper to disappear out the door as she turns into the hallway before walking out herself, shutting the door behind her. _Baby steps,_ she reminds herself, heading for her cubicle.

*


	12. warmed and alarmed

Piper takes a look at the post-it notes on her wall and thinks to herself: _What the fuck have I gotten myself into, exactly?_ When her father approached her with this offer, he laid it out for her like it was the simplest thing: _Coordinate meetings via email, call key people from concerned departments. It’s basically an events management thing, honey. And I need someone on it whom I could trust._

It’s the trust thing that gets to her the hardest; her father had been worried about the plan getting leaked before it was due. And besides – could she ever really say no? She didn’t want Tech anyway – Tech was an _option,_ more than anything else.

 _This job is still a job out of Entrep,_ she figured. She said yes before her father could tell Nicky she even considered it, and the rest, as they say, is history.

 _And that brings us to this giant wall of post-its._ It’s not even a week in yet, and she already has a to-do list that’s almost as tall as Alex.

 _Whoa,_ Piper blinks, catching herself. _Where did that come from?_

Truth be told, it’s hard to think of anything else, other than Friday night’s story conference. Their encounter after that initial meeting left Piper feeling a bit... _hopeful_. Like it’s something they could still work on and mend, and though Piper knows better than to be _careless_ all over again, she can’t help but just entertain the possibility of it.

_Maybe. Just maybe._

Piper turns to the phone and dials Corporate, greeting the secretary pleasantly before transferring the call to her dad. “Well, then,” she sighs, leaning over to take post-it number 7 off the to-do column and transferring it over to _Done._

 _Fuck major victories,_ she thinks, glancing over at post-its eight, nine and ten. _Every win counts for something._

*

Nicky arrives first for the meeting, striding into Bill’s office confidently, folder in hand and pen in pocket. She smiles at Piper and looks around the empty room.

“Where’s everybody?” she asks, taking a seat.

“Coffee?” Piper offers, glancing at her cell phone’s watch. It’s technically still four minutes to seven – Nicky is _technically_ early. “They’re on their way,” she says.

Nicky nods, sliding back into her seat like a school kid, looking at Piper so curiously that it makes Piper fidget uneasily.

“What?” she asks Nicky, smiling as she looks away.

“Vause thought you were transferring to Tech,” she says, playful lilt to her voice. “What happened between the two of you?”

Piper turns away fully, pretending to retrieve some files from the metal cabinet behind her. “I thought I’d take a look at the other sections,” she says, pulling one random shelf open, wincing at the sound of the grating metal. “But then, my dad needed my help here, so.”

“Hmm.” Nicky just says. _Of course she isn’t convinced,_ Piper thinks, staring into the metal shelf. “Well, considering the magnitude of this event—I’m sure it’s miles more challenging than any of the other sections, eh?”

 _Thank God she doesn’t press on._ Piper turns around, shutting the shelf behind her. “Definitely,” she says. Right on cue, Boo walks in, followed by Bill. They’re in the middle of a conversation that Piper couldn’t quite follow. _Please repeat all of this for the record later,_ she just thinks.

“Hey Bill,” Nicky says, getting to her feet. Boo turns to her and gives her a high-five in greeting. “Where’s the party?”

Bill smiles. “Over here,” he says, walking toward the couches in the corner of the room. As is customary for most meetings, Piper ordered dinner—tonight, it’s Japanese. “Dinner arrangements courtesy of Piper, of course.”

Boo whistles, rubbing her hands together. “Thanks, Piper,” she says as she sits down, grinning as she moves for the sushi first.

“Where’s Alex?” asks Bill.

“She’s not picking up,” Piper says, phone in ear. _Where is she? Did she forget about this meeting?_

“Could you check if she’s in her cubicle? Start early to end early.”

Piper nods. “Right,” she says, turning for the door with her phone still in her ear. She’s already walking down the hall toward the editorial wing when Alex picks up. “Alex, where are you?”

“I’m on my way,” Alex replies, and Piper can hear just the faintest undertone of impatience in her low voice. Piper cannot decide whether to feel annoyed or turned on, but the shiver runs through her anyway.

“My father’s waiting,” she says, trying to walk the shiver off.

When she turns the corner, she bumps into Alex, who lets out a semi-loud _What the fuck_ at the contact, her other hand coming up to keep her glasses from falling off. Alex looks up blinking, her brows slowly un-knitting upon seeing Piper. “ _Jesus,_ kid,” Alex says, stepping back and breathing in. “ _You’re_ in a hurry.”

Piper smiles and Alex starts laughing softly, shoulder jerking and Piper tries not to stare at the tattoo that’s peeking from under the sleeve of her V-neck. _Oh,_ she thinks, tongue darting out to lick at her lower lip before she could even stop herself.

 _Stop this, Piper._ “My _father_ is in a hurry,” she says instead.

Alex lets out a throaty laugh, and before Piper realizes what she’s doing, Alex is pulling her by the wrist into an empty cubicle and _kissing_ her. Piper does not know how long it lasts – a millisecond or forever, whatever – but when it ends, she finds herself gasping for air, pushing against Alex’s chest.

“What. The. Fuck,” she asks, lips still hovering over Alex’s. “Was that for?”

“Sorry,” Alex says. She realizes Alex is also _heaving,_ and _fuck_ why is this the most ill-timed kiss to ever happen _ever_? “We’re in a hurry, right?”

 _Jesus fucking Christ, this woman right here._ Piper pushes against Alex weakly, hands splayed against her chest. “Yeah,” she says, leaning back in anyhow. _Just a quick one,_ she thinks, letting herself be backed against the nearby desk. “ _Alex._ ”

“What?” In the dark, Alex’s eyes shine with mischief, the corner of her lips curled into a smirk.

“I still hate you for putting me as a tagline.”

Alex takes a step forward, closing the space between them, and Piper feels all the air get out of her lungs at the feel of Alex’s hand against her stomach; her lips against Piper’s throat. “How do you want me to apologize?” she murmurs against the skin under Piper’s ear.

Piper collapses slightly against the edge of the table, her knees going weak. _Fucking hell._ “ _Alex._ ” It’s out like a small, soft whine. “Alex, we have to—we’re _late_.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Piper pushes Alex away firmly, trying to get the sensation back in her knees. “Once someone realizes how long I’m actually taking—”

Alex laughs, easing herself off Piper slowly, leaving goose bumps everywhere as their skins finally part. “All right,” she says, reaching over to fix Piper’s hair. “Let’s go.”

 _Just like that?_ Piper finds herself letting out a shaky laugh. “Come on.”

Alex walks in first, apologizing loudly. “I’m sorry I’m late – last-minute closing glitch.” Alex takes a seat beside Nicky on the couch, not bothering to wait for anyone to answer. Bill just looks at her, lips pursed in obvious disapproval of her tardiness, but they seem to be so _engrossed_ in their current conversation that he just lets it go.

Piper counts down from five before saying something. “Anybody thirsty?”

Her father turns his head briefly. “Water would be fine,” he says, and Piper disappears into the office’s small kitchen, thankful to be out of sight.

 _Pull yourself together._ Piper shakes the nerves off her shoulders and re-emerges with a glass of water in each hand.

When Piper leans closer to lower the glasses on the table, she overhears Boo talking: “So a car sales situationer plus sales forecast for the next six months, then something more consumer-friendly – maybe a tips thing? For new owners -- first car buyers I mean? We can totally do that.”

“For tech we can—I don’t know, we can always go for up and coming tech? Smartphones, phablets, laptops. Easy.”

“What about wearables?” asks Bill.

“What _about_ wearables?” Nicky asks back. And then, off the serious look on Bill’s face: “Okay, fine. Maybe wearables, too.”

“And maybe something about apps? We could also push ours alongside,” says Bill. “The paper is setting up its own booth in the event to launch our augmented reality advertising.”

Nicky nods. “Of course. We can do a sidebar with the smartphones feature,” she says, scribbling in her notepad. “I also have a couple of start-up founders I could refer to Vause.”

Alex leans closer to the table, shifting forward, and Piper finds herself sliding in right next to her, trying to make the move look like she’s trying to catch snippets of their conversation for the minutes of the meeting. Beside her, Alex is warm and all too _inviting._

“I could do three big ones,” Alex offers, turning to Bill. “One for each major sponsor. Can we offer it as a value of sorts?”

“We could,” Bill nods. “Don’t tell Page One, though.”

“I’m not talking to Page One,” Nicky says, laughing.

“Then we could do small sidebar profiles for Boo and Nicky’s pieces, if space permits – a thousand to two thousand characters? That would fit,” Alex adds.

“And how do you plan to multiply yourself for these tasks?” asks Boo.

“I’ll split the legwork with Piper,” Alex says.

“Excuse me?” Piper looks up from her notes upon hearing Alex’s suggestion. _How did I get wheedled into that?_

“Come on – you wanted to write profiles,” Alex says, turning to her and nudging her with her elbow, and what’s short-circuiting her right now is how _comfortable_ this feels, just sitting next to her. “They’d be really short, and we’d totally be drafting the questions together, and I’d help edit.” Then, looking at Bill: “And I promise: Bylines for every piece.”

Before Piper can stop herself, she’s already swatting Alex’s nearer arm, as Boo and Nicky start laughing.

“Too soon?” Alex says, tone taking _that_ turn, and Piper tries not to gasp too audibly as her insides somersault.

 _Calm down,_ Piper tells herself as she clears her throat. “I just think it’s going to be very... _challenging._ Time-management-wise.”

“What do you think, Bill?” Alex asks.

He pauses to scratch his chin. “Well. As much as I would want Piper to focus on overseeing this thing, I’d love to read more of her writing,” he says, and Piper is simultaneously warmed and alarmed. “What do you think, honey? Stretch goals are good.”

Piper looks around and realizes all eyes are on her. _Talk about backing yourself into a corner._ “Fine,” she sighs, and she feels Alex casually putting a hand on her knee, like she’s saying _I got you, kid._ “Maybe I could try doing one.”

“Girl, we’ll do all three,” Alex says, grip tightening around Piper’s thigh, and _Jesus,_ what Piper would give for this meeting to already end.

Nicky’s still grinning when she jumps in with the names of potential interviewees for Tech, scribbling their details down furiously and tearing the page off her notebook to hand to Alex, while Boo just gives Alex three pieces of calling cards she’d taken out of her wallet.

“Oh, and by the way -- this Bloom guy,” says Boo, handing Piper the card. “He’s handling PR for one of the sports racers I’m looking to feature. Maybe you and Vause could get in touch with him.”

Piper takes a look at the card before stashing it into her organizer. _Larry Bloom. Probably a middle-aged man who has two former wives._ “Thanks,” she says, turning to Alex. “So?”

Alex looks at her like she’s trying not to smile too widely, but her eyes glint with _something_ Piper prefers to ignore at the moment. “So. Let me run a quick scan on all these people Nicky and Boo have given us, then we’ll sit down and talk strategy all right? Maybe _Monday._ ”

The way Alex says _Monday_ though – it’s like she’s not really talking to her, per se. _What are you even doing, Alex?_ she wants to ask, the words wanting to pound their way out of her chest.

“Right,” says Piper, glancing over at her dad, who’s quietly jotting down things in his notebook as well. It prompts Piper to look down at her own notes. _This is going to make a shitty minutes report,_ she just thinks.

“That’s settled then,” says Bill, looking up and glancing at the clock. “Wow – that took close to two hours?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” says Nicky. “I’ll send in my notes from this meeting to Piper – just to make sure we made note of the same things?”

“Good idea,” says Bill. “You too, Boo?”

Boo shrugs. “Monday still ok?”

Piper nods. She welcomes the thought of not having to consolidate minutes over the weekend. “Monday is fine.” And then, just to complete the trio: “Alex?”

Alex looks up from her phone, distracted. “What? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Piper was asking if you could send in your notes from this meeting,” Bill says.

Alex nods. “Oh. Right, of course. I will. Maybe tonight.”

“Tonight?” Nicky laughs. “We’re sending in on Monday. _Tonight_ we’re going drinking.”

Alex laughs in kind. “Sending it over on Monday means I’ll work on it this weekend – no, _thank you_.” Alex stands, dusting her hands against her pants. “I’m going to get these notes sorted tonight.”

“Come on, Alex,” says Boo. “Just two rounds.”

Alex just smiles at them. “Nah, you guys go. Great meeting, Bill,” she says, coming over to shake Bill’s hand. Piper feels her stomach plummet, the strange sort of disappointment pooling in her gut.  

“Thanks for making time,” Bill says. “And for staying a bit longer to get your notes in order. Much appreciated. Right, Piper?”

Piper nods, gathering the empty plates on the table. “Of course,” she says absently, smiling as she takes the first batch to the kitchen. She listens in as Boo and Nicky say their goodbyes, a round of laughter filling the room as they rib Alex one more time before finally leaving.

When she emerges from the kitchen, Alex has done some tidying herself. She turns to Piper, smiling as she asks where to put them, and Piper cannot help but _blush._ “Back there,” she says. “Where’s dad?”

“He just went out, said he’d be back in a bit,” Alex says. “Are we supposed to do the dishes or—”

“Oh no— _no_ ,” Piper says, laughing as she takes the dirty plates from Alex’s hands. “I just put them away. One of the cleaners is in charge.”

“Thank God,” says Alex, laughing in kind. “I have notes to finish—as you may have heard.”

“So I have,” Piper says. For a moment they just stand there, holding on to dirty plates in the middle of the room. It’s all so hilariously _domestic_ that Piper cannot help but giggle lightly. “You’re right. We _do_ make a good team.”

“A good clean-up team, at least,” Alex says, fixing her glasses. “I should get back to my notes. We should sit down and talk strategy sometime.”

“You should,” Piper nods. “We should. I mean – strategy.”

“Right.” Alex breathes in, fingers inching a bit closer to Piper’s under the plates, just enough to _touch_. Piper stands there, trying to still her shaky hands; trying not to drop _anything._

 _Jesus,_ Piper thinks, looking away. _Strange how normal this feels._

Her father chooses that moment to walk back in, and Piper takes a step back in surprise, bringing the plates with her and making her way to the kitchen quickly, listening in to their conversation.

“Bill,” Alex says. “I was just leaving.”

“Thanks for helping Piper clean up,” he says in reply. “Good to see Piper’s making friends around here.”

 _Shit._ Piper moves closer to the hallway, careful to keep herself hidden behind the wall.

“Didn’t want to leave her with the dishes,” Alex says. “Piper’s a very talented kid. I’m glad she’s with us during her internship.”

“Talking like a mentor – I like that,” says Bill. “She says she learned a lot from you.”

“She did?”

“And I’m glad she’s working with you again – I think you work well together. I mean – don’t you?”

 _Oh dad._ Piper clears her throat as she gets out of the kitchen, and she smiles as her dad and Alex turn their heads at exactly the same time. “I’m calling the cleaners about the dishes,” she says. “Are you heading home, dad?”

Bill looks at his watch. “In a few,” he says. “You can ride with me if you want.”

Piper shakes her head, casually looking at her phone before glancing over at Alex. “I’m meeting Polly for drinks tonight.”

“And you were planning to tell me about this when?” There’s the slightest hint of reproach in her dad’s tone, but then he smiles at her anyway as he moves closer to plant a kiss on her forehead. “Never mind. You’re a big girl.”

“I see you need the occasional reminder,” Piper says. “I’ll probably spend the night at Polly’s so.”

“Don’t forget our 11 a.m. with Arts and Marketing tomorrow though?”

“For an old man, you remember your schedule pretty well.” And then, off the look her father gives her: “Dad, I’ll be here, okay? Like, an hour ahead of everybody else, just to prepare brunch and coffee.”

Bill just flashes a thumbs-up sign at her before retrieving his things from behind his desk and heading out the door. “Lock the office when you leave, right?” he says, before turning to Alex. “You’re still here?”

“I don’t know why either,” Alex just says, watching Bill go, waiting a while before turning back to Piper. “What was that about?”

“Not sure either,” Piper says. _There is no plan with Polly,_ she wants to say. _You know how I want to spend this Friday night? You know, right?_

_Right?_

“Well,” Alex says, clearing her throat. “I should probably go.”

 _Wrong._ Piper tries not to look so ruffled. “Notes to fix, I remember.”

“Yeah.” And then, “You’re working tomorrow?”

Piper nods. “It sucks, but do I have a choice?”

Alex shrugs. “Tough luck.” She walks backward slowly, keeping her eyes on Piper. “I’ll—I’ll text you, all right? Strategy?”

“Sure thing,” Piper says. Despite herself, her hand comes up in a small wave. “See you Monday?”

Alex pauses by the doorway, hand on the knob. “Yeah,” she says, smiling at her. “See you.”

When the door closes behind her, Piper shuts her eyes as well, letting herself breathe out. _This has been a day, hasn’t it been, Piper?_

 _Yes,_ she thinks, allowing herself to sit in her father’s big chair. _Yes, it definitely has been._

*

Sitting in her car, Piper thinks about calling Polly – sure, the whole _Drinks with Polly_ thing was mostly an on-the-spot fabrication, but surely, it could still be executable? She slides her phone out of her pocket, but she ends up staring at the screen, her hands idle.

Truth be told, this night has been reduced to one thing: Alex kissing her in that cubicle. _How do you want me to apologize?_ The memory of Alex’s voice, the warmth of her breath against Piper’s neck – all of it sends shivers down Piper’s spine.  

 _Look what you’ve done,_ she wants to tell her. In the end, she finds herself calling Alex, who picks up after the third ring.

“Piper?”

“Listen Alex,” she begins, breathing in. “I want to tell you something about tonight’s main disappointment: I expected to be asked out tonight.”

There’s a pause on Alex’s end. “Piper.”

“Instead I was condemned to have this absolutely boring Friday night.”

“I thought you were having drinks with Polly?”

“Plans collapsed,” Piper says. “Now my Friday night’s wide open.”

“Not that my Friday night’s any better,” Alex says, laughing lightly now.

“You still get to spend it in your nice flat,” Piper counters.

“Still alone though.”

Piper tries not to think about how that phrase puts _that_ image of Alex in her head again:  Alex curled up with her book on the couch, glass of wine in hand. _Oh fuck._ “You’re not the one spending Friday night with my dad,” she says, trying to calm down.

Alex pauses before: “I’m still not spending it with you.”

Hearing Alex say that stuns Piper, to say the least; the air in her car now feels exquisitely warm.

“Where are you?” Piper asks quietly, a long while after.

“You know where I am,” Alex says.

*

Piper does not remember much about knocking on Alex’s door the first time around, so this feels definitely like the first time. She spends forever standing in front of her door, fiddling with the hem of her top as she musters some courage. _Come on, Piper. We got this far._

She gives the door a tentative rap at first, before bringing her knuckles slightly more forcefully against it to give it two more solid ones.

When Alex comes to the door, her face lights up at the sight of her so quickly that Piper feels the lump lodged in her throat grow even larger, her chest feeling like a vast, airless expanse.  

Alex watches her, relaxing from her initial surprise as she leans against her doorway. “What are you doing here?” she asks, but the way she does – it sounds like she already _knows_ , perhaps even better than Piper.

Piper swallows hard, keeping her eyes on Alex’s, who just smiles at her with her brow ever so gently arched. “I believe you owe me an apology,” Piper just says.

*


	13. eyes on the prize

One day, Alex wakes to the sound of Piper in the kitchen, and that’s when the thought hits her: They’ve fallen into a rhythm. It usually begins on Friday night, when Piper tells her dad she’s _spending the night at Polly’s._

That was usually Alex's cue.

In the interest of being discreet, she’d meet Piper in the basement, right where she’s parked. There’s usually a waiting time of three to five minutes, which Alex spends seated on the hood of Piper’s car, waiting for the elevator doors to open.

It’s the way that Piper smiles that gets to her, really; the way her face turns from an exhausted frown to that big bright grin in three seconds _flat._ Alex could not pinpoint exactly when it began feeling _this way_ , but soon it was pretty much the only thing she ever looked forward to all week.

Truth be told, Alex doesn’t even remember anymore the last time she ever let anyone be _that_ point, at all, nor does she remember what it felt like to have one, to begin with.

 _The problem with having something,_ Alex just thinks, hauling herself out of bed to watch Piper walking around in _her_ kitchen making coffee for the nth straight weekend. _Is now you have something to lose._

It is actually very terrifying, when it comes down to it. _No use being so grim so early in the morning,_ Alex tells herself.

“Hey,” she calls from the doorway to the kitchen, clearing her throat and adjusting her glasses. Piper turns around with two mugs in her hand, wearing that _just-woke-up_ smile on her face as she approaches Alex, kissing her cheek, softly.

“Hey,” Piper greets. “Morning.”

Alex smiles. “You’re getting better at this,” she just says.

“Practice makes perfect,” Piper replies.

*

One good thing about this routine is that it pushes Piper to eventually cancel Saturday morning meetings. _Hallelujah,_ Boo and Nicky had said; even Bill seemed relieved with the new arrangement, though he was not as obvious about it.

Alex remembers the morning after Piper first turned up knocking at her apartment door—they’d spent all night awake for reasons perfectly expected and _reasonable_ , and Piper ended up being an hour late to their breakfast meeting. Good thing everybody had late Saturday nights themselves, and they ended up drawing out the meeting until 3 p.m., way past their initial end target.

“That’s it, no more Saturday meetings,” Piper had said, crawling back into Alex’s bed with a pout that same evening.

They spend Saturdays reading in bed instead. Sometimes, Piper trawls through Alex’s shelves for random records she could pop into her stereo, perhaps the only source of entertainment around, in the absence of a television set.

“Really, Alex,” Piper asks, at some point. “How do you live without television?”

“Very quietly,” Alex just replies, laughing.

*

That it is all so easy surprises Alex. She’d expected Piper to be as difficult on weekends as she is during weekdays, but it seems that she sheds _that_ Piper when she walks into Alex’s door at the end of the week.

In the office, she’s the one person you barely want to bump into in the hallways – she always has _one more thing_ to ask, and it’s usually totally not connected to the last thing she asked to be done. It drives Alex crazy, and not in the way she wants.

Piper has only weeknights to get her profiles sorted, and that’s all right – it’s an excuse to spend time with her when she’s not in events management mode, and surprisingly, this Piper sounds more energized, despite having spent the last ten hours on the phone trying to get people who don’t want to talk to one another to communicate.

“And they say we’re in the business of communication,” Piper had said once, seated in Alex’s cubicle one night while slaving away at the transcript of their first interview.

Alex smirks, focusing on the game she’s playing in her phone while waiting for Piper to finish. “Careful, the walls have ears,” she says. “And they don’t care whose daughter you are.”

“Right,” Piper sighs, swivelling around to face Alex before kicking her chair. “Why did you even rope me into this?”

Alex laughs a little before putting her phone away, looking at Piper. “Because you’re a _natural_ ,” Alex says. “And you’re efficient, yes, but I think it’d be such a waste to just keep you behind the scenes, know what I mean?”

Piper just kicks at her chair again, but weaker this time. “Fine. I now only sort of hate you for putting this on me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Pipes,” Alex says, wheeling herself closer to Piper. “You don’t hate me.”

Piper bites her lip as she looks at her so, _so_ fondly, it takes all of Alex’s will power not to jump her right there and then, because _Oh, Jesus._ To have someone who could look at you _like that._

“No,” says Piper softly. “I don’t.”

*

Some nights, if they’re still unfinished by the time the newspaper is put to bed, they go back to Alex’s just to tie loose ends -- even if it means going against Piper's strictly-no-sleepover-on-weeknights rule.

"Honestly, Pipes," Alex would say, trying to read through one of Piper's drafts while lying on the bed, one eye already closed, as Piper has an ill-advised cup of coffee by the window, looking just as worn out and ready to drop. "What did I tell you about having one too many coffees?"

"I'm fine," Piper would say, her sigh so heavy Alex feels it sinking into the bed right beside her.

"There's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix." By this point, Alex would already be rubbing at her eyes. "We've been awake too long, kid."

On those nights, they would be too exhausted to argue, so Alex would make some haphazard notes on the margins just to get it done with; anyway, what's a few shifting tenses and missing articles, right? Piper confuses her in's, on's and at's -- so what? Nobody cares about prepositions when they're _this_ tired.

The revisions will be there in the morning, but Piper would be gone, a hastily scribbled _See you in the office_ taped to Alex's laptop monitor.

*

Before they know it, they have less than a month to go, and Alex just gets more frustrated as setting up interviews with her main subjects just gets progressively more difficult. "Like they have all the time in the fucking world," Alex finds herself whining once, as Piper transcribes for her second profile. “Self-important pricks.”

“Alex,” Piper says, not even looking away from her screen. “Would you like me to do the follow ups on that?”

“What?” Alex blinks. Piper’s plate is already full enough as it is – it would be of great help, no denying that, but it also would border on being sadistic. “No, I – I think I can still manage,” Alex says. “Don’t you have, like, a gazillion of meetings to set up as it is?”

“Yep,” Piper nods, turning from her screen briefly to glance at Alex. “What’s one more right?” Alex can’t help but laugh at the logic of that. _Indeed._ “Besides – I get to help you. That way,” Piper continues, coming closer and dropping her voice. “You wouldn’t be so grumpy this weekend.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Alex says, laughing even louder before whispering back: “I am _not_ grumpy.”

“Have you seen yourself?”

“I believe I have been managing my stress rather well – thank you for asking.”

“At the rate this week’s going, you’ll be snapping at me _all weekend_ ,” says Piper. “Come on. Let me help.”

Alex looks at her calendar. _Well, I do need a miracle already._ “You offered,” she just says, handing Piper her list.

*

Alex does not see Piper all of Thursday morning that she actually worries about her. _Are you around today?_ she texts Piper at lunch, to which Piper only replies with a curt, _Yep y?_

 _Fine._ So Piper’s busy, and that’s partly because of her – Alex almost feels guilty, but then again, she sees all the things she has to read and edit and just like that, the guilt that’s rearing its head just around the corner disappears.

“How are your interviews coming along Vause?” Nicky asks, passing by her cubicle briefly.

“Your referrals are fucking pricks,” Alex replies, and Nicky (being Nicky) just laughs at her, shaking her head as she walks away.

*

All told, it’s a fairly more productive Thursday – without having to go to the phone every fifteen minutes to catch somebody’s secretary, Alex actually manages to plow through a significant chunk of press releases for the scheduled supplement _and_ give Piper’s first two mini-profiles a second run-through. Alex leans back in her seat, fingers threaded behind her head. For the first time in so many days, she actually feels a semblance of _control_. It’s Alex’s favorite feeling in the world.

Remembering her phone, she tries to get Piper, who finally picks up after several rings. “Not now, Al.”

 _What?_ “Hey kid,” she says, ears still ringing with _that_ nickname. “You hungry?”

“What?” Piper says, sounding distracted. In the background, Alex can hear the noise of ruffled papers, like Piper’s searching for _something_ while on the phone with her. “Can I call you back?”

Piper hangs up before Alex could reply, but it doesn’t matter to Alex, not really. _Al, huh?_ she thinks instead, tossing her phone onto her desk, a stupid grin on her face.

*

Piper doesn’t call all day, and Alex is almost out the door when she finally hears from her.

“Alex!”

Alex turns around slowly, eyes wide as she stares at Piper standing at the other end of the dimly lit corridor. “Wow,” she just says, laughing. “If you could say that louder, because I don’t think the people in the printing presses heard you.”

“Asshole,” Piper says, smiling as she approaches. When she gets within an arm’s length, Piper hands her a piece of paper. Alex finds it familiar – it’s the same paper she used to list down the contact numbers of her interviewees. “Anyway, here – you’re all set.”

“All set?” Alex asks, taking the piece of paper from her hands. “All set how?”

“I hope you could clear your sched tomorrow – you’ve got a 9 a.m., a lunch interview, and a 4 p.m.”

“Jesus, Piper,” Alex says. “You mean to say you booked _all three_ in the same day? Are you trying to kill me?”

Piper blinks. “A thank you would have sufficed,” she says, tone flat. _Shit,_ Alex thinks. _Here we go again._ “Besides,” Piper continues. “Their next earliest time available is _next month._ Would you have that instead?”

Alex breathes in. “No,” she says, slowly. And then: “Thank you, Piper.”

“And, because I _really_ wanted to help, I also got you a schedule with Photo. Your photographer will meet you at the lobby with your driver at 8.”

 _A photographer and a driver._ “God, the things I want to do to you right now,” Alex drawls, dropping her voice, watching as Piper leans in closer to the sound. “Thank you.”

“You need to work on your gratitude,” Piper whispers in her ear. “You’ve already got your apologies down pat.”

Oh, how Alex _shivers –_ she doesn’t see this Piper often, but when she _does,_ it’s all kinds of glorious. It takes a couple of moments before Alex can actually move, leaning back against a nearby cubicle wall just so she could look at Piper’s face.

Piper’s eyes are already heavy with a sort of want, her hand resting lightly on Alex’s hip, but when she _looks_ at Alex, it’s like she’s saying, _Not now._

_Not now, Al._

Alex holds her breath as a smile slowly spreads on Piper's lips. "Friday night," Piper just says, pushing herself off Alex and heading for the door, as Alex waits for her to disappear behind it. Piper pauses by the doorway, hand already on the knob, to take one last look at Alex.

Alex blinks once, twice.  Piper mouths, "See you," silently at her before finally turning to go.

 _Hot damn,_ Alex thinks, letting her head fall back against the cubicle wall behind her. _Focus, Vause._ She tries thinking about what lies between this moment and tomorrow night -- three interviews, to be exact -- but not even the prospect of nosebleed-inducing transcription work is enough to dampen her mood.

 _Eyes on the prize,_ she just tells herself, shaking the shiver out.

*

“Ms Vause?”

Alex looks up from her coffee, almost ready to throw a punch. _Too fucking early to be Ms Vause,_ she just thinks, trying not to snap at whoever it is first thing in the morning. It’s ten to eight, and she’s sitting in the lobby, reviewing her notes and drinking her coffee when the voice interrupts.

“Yeah?” she says, standing up and pocketing her pen. “All set?”

The girl smiles at her, extending a hand. “My name’s Lily,” she says. “I’m the rep from photo.”

Alex looks her over and smiles. _Where did you come from?_ “I’m Alex,” she says instead. “You’re... _new.” Finally. Someone from Photo who is not a scruffy-looking teenage boy._

Lily smiles back, adjusting the straps of her camera bag on her shoulder. “Well, technically,” she says. “But this is my second newspaper job. You have a shot list you’d like me to work with?”

“Hallelujah,” Alex says, walking toward the elevators. “A photographer who would work with a _shot list._ ”

Lily blinks, giving her a look of disbelief. “What, the others don’t do that?”

“The boys are either too lazy or too proud,” Alex says. She doesn’t take it against them, of course—compared to News or Sports, taking profile pictures for Entrep is a walk in the park. “I mean—it’s basically a photo shoot. Maybe you could do it with your eyes closed or something.”

Lily laughs softly, the sound filling the elevator. “I used to freelance for a small fashion magazine my friends used to run as a _hobby—_ yeah, I know, who dabbles in print for _kicks,_ right? Anyway, my point is – shooting people in interview settings is its own challenge.”

“Really,” Alex just says, stepping out of the elevator when they hit the second basement, which is where the company vehicles are parked. When they get there, one of the cars is already waiting by the exit. Alex glances at her watch. _Let’s thank all these prompt people later,_ she thinks, opening the door for Lily.

“Oh,” Lily says, amused by the gesture. “Right. They told me about you.”

 _What does that mean?_ Alex lifts a brow, smiling. “They tell all sorts of lies about me,” she just says, getting into the front seat.

“In which case—never mind then,” Lily replies, closing her door.

They spend the drive quiet. If there’s anything Alex has learned through the years, it’s the fact that the company’s biggest gossips are the drivers – no exceptions.  Friday morning traffic is thankfully manageable, and they reach their first interviewee with ten minutes to spare.

Her first interview, as it turns out, is actually for Boo—it comes as no surprise to Alex that the Grand Old Dame of automobile distributors in the city wishes to be interviewed so early in the morning. Alex smiles at the girl behind the front desk, who greets her with a fond, familiar tone.

“You’re early,” says the girl. Alex glances at her ID. _Jane. Right, of course._ “She’s expecting you.”

“She’s in already?” Alex feigns disappointment. “I was hoping we’d arrive ahead of her.”

Jane just looks at her, still smiling. “Nobody arrives ahead of the Dame. You know this.”

And Alex does. She nods as she follows Jane in, Lily trailing her closely as they go down a long, narrow hallway that leads to a big door.

“Well?” asks Jane. “Time’s running.”

Alex pushes the door open, breathing in as Maggie Jones, chairwoman of the City Chamber of Automotive Dealers, smiles at her from behind her desk. “Maggie,” Alex greets, extending her hand. “Long time.”

“Alex Vause,” she replies, her handshake still as firm as ever. “It’s good to see your face.”

“Interesting” Lily just murmurs from behind Alex, clicking away.

*

Alex interviews eager start-up whiz Allan Davis – who’s barely 25 – over lunch. This one’s for Nicky’s segment. The talk is breezy and decidedly _young_ , and some points of it make Alex go, _Well fuck me, what had I been doing at 25?_ Davis’s clean-shaven act is also a welcome change for Alex, who has long been used to the casual get-up of the newspaper’s under-25s. _Wouldn’t hurt to play dress up once in a while,_ she just thinks, letting him talk.

Lily sits right beside her, but it’s easy to forget she’s even there – she hasn’t said anything since the small comment she made earlier in the day about Maggie Jones, and she’s barely even touched her food. Alex finds it odd but definitely welcome – to say that this kid is _worlds apart_ from the other photographers is an understatement.

The conversation turns into a lengthy one and Alex almost forgets about her 4 p.m., if not for Lily’s reminder. “I believe if we want to make it before 4 we have to go now,” Lily says, leaning in closer to whisper discreetly. “Road construction along the way’s expected to be a bit of a bottle neck.”

“Shit,” Alex just says, turning apologetically to Allan. “Sorry man—great interview, by the way. I don’t easily lose track of time.” Allan just shrugs, smiling sheepishly as Alex settles the tab. “Feel free to stay – thanks for squeezing us in today. We’ll be in touch.”

Absently, Alex reaches for Lily’s arm, tugging her out of the restaurant by the wrist hurriedly. Lily says nothing and just lets her be pulled along, trying to keep up with Alex’s long strides. Alex doesn’t even catch herself holding onto her until much later, when she’s already opening the door for her. _Shit._ Alex lets her hand go like she’s just been holding a scalding thing.

“Sorry,” Alex offers awkwardly. Lily just responds with a small laugh, shrugging it off.

Their 4 p.m. lasts no more than thirty minutes, as their interviewee – the CEO of the city’s biggest telco, no less – has elsewhere to be at 5 p.m. _Fuck this,_ Alex thinks, reviewing her notes. _How is this even going to breach 4,000 characters?_

When they get back to the office, Alex is still feeling a bit sulky about _that_. “Does that always happen?” Lily asks in the elevator.

“What always happens?” Alex asks, distracted.

“Bad interviews.”

Alex pauses before laughing. “Hazards of the job,” she says before glancing over at Lily’s camera. “How did your shots go?”

“Not bad,” Lily shrugs. “Loved shooting Maggie Jones. So photogenic.”

Alex leans in closer as Lily shows her the shots. “Decades of practice, I guess,” she says, adjusting her glasses for a clearer look. “Man, that looks stunning.”

“Thanks,” says Lily, stepping out as the elevator doors open. “If you want, you could point out the ones you want so I could already have them processed for you.”

“That would be great,” Alex says, turning to follow her toward the Photo department.

“ _What_ would be great?”

Alex stops walking, blood freezing in her veins. _Piper._ She turns around slowly, trying not to look as guilty as she _feels_. “Hey Pipes,” she says, clearing her throat. “You’ve met Lily from Photo?”

Piper turns to her and smiles, and Alex watches as they shake hands. “So you’re Alex’s photographer today, hm?”

Lily nods. “My name’s Lily,” she offers, and Alex feels the air around them grow _tense_. “This has been a long day. I suppose I’ll just send thumbnail contacts tomorrow morning? That alright, Alex?”

“Sure,” Alex replies almost instantly. “I’ll check your shots out tomorrow. Thank you for today.”

“You’re welcome.” Lily looks at the two of them like she’s piecing things together, and _Christ,_ if this isn’t the _tensest_ three minutes of Alex’s life.

They stand there quietly for a while before Piper breaks in with, “Lily looks like a nice girl,” walking away without waiting for Alex’s answer.

 _Oh shit,_ Alex just thinks, walking after her.

*

“At some point, you will have to talk to me,” Alex says, eye on the clock. It’s been a thoroughly tiring day, and here Piper is, giving her the coldest of shoulders and for what? A conversation she never even heard the full version of?

“I am not _not_ talking to you,” Piper says, typing more furiously than usual. _Sure you’re not,_ Alex almost says, but she bites down on her tongue. “Can’t you see I’m busy with all your _third wave_ revisions?”

“ _Piper_ ,” Alex sighs. “You know there’s more going on here than that.”

“I mean—how hard is it to ever get anything right, _right_? Maybe I’ll have an easier time if, instead of writing, I just took _pictures_.”

 _There it is._ “Oh come on, Pipes.”

“Don’t,” Piper says, tone flat.

None of it sounds like it’s going to get better. _Who’s snapping at who all weekend now?_ Alex thinks idly. “Look,” she says, walking over and leaning against the desk nearest Piper. “Let me take you out to dinner, all right? My gesture of thanks.”

Piper shakes her head, still frowning at her computer screen. “Whatever Alex,” she just says. “Let me finish this.”

Alex raises her hands, as if in surrender. “All right,” she says, moving away slowly. “As you wish.” She sits back down on the far end of their cubicle, staring at the back of Piper’s head, trying to figure out the actual gravity of this situation. _Is she actually jealous?_

 _She’s jealous._ Alex does not know whether to be amused or worried. Piper types through the better part of the hour, occasionally grumbling at something written on the paper as if Alex isn’t sitting in the same room with her.

 _Gotta rage before you move on,_ Alex figures.

She can wait.

*

“You’re still not talking to me,” Alex notes, walking into the elevator after Piper. Piper breathes in looking up and watching the floors go by. “Piper.”

“What?”

“Are you having dinner with me or what?”

“Alex, I’m tired.”

 _What?_ “What does that mean?”

Piper sighs. “It means I’m not in the mood for any of this.”

“Jesus Christ, Pipes,” Alex says, unable to keep her exasperation out of her voice. “I’ve had a _fucking_ long day.”

“And so have I,” Piper says sharply. “I’m not the one who spent it running around with a pretty girl.”

“Seriously?” Alex asks, laughing at the strangeness of it all. “It was an _assignment,_ Piper. Lily and I were just working together.”

“But that’s what we’re doing too, right?” Piper says, tone quieter but still venom-laced. “We’re _working_ together, aren’t we?”

 _Oh._ Alex feels like she’d just been decked in the chest. “That’s not fair,” Alex finds herself saying.

Piper says nothing as she waits for the elevator to reach the basement before stepping out without looking back.

*

Alex finds herself staying in the elevator, unable to move as the doors close, watching as Piper walks away from her in the dimly lit basement. _Fine,_ Alex thinks, stepping out on the ground floor. _Be that way._

She’s checking her pockets for her keys when someone calls out her name.

“Hey Alex?”

When Alex turns around, she finds Lily approaching, brown envelope in hand. _Speaking of the devil._

“I thought you might want to look these over tonight,” she says, handing the envelope over. “You could just write over these and hand them back tomorrow. I guess that would be the most convenient way, wouldn’t it?”

“Thanks kid,” says Alex, smiling wanly at her. “Good job today.”

“Just doing as I’m told,” she says. She stands there like she’s waiting for something else – something Alex quickly picks up on.

“Is there anything else?”

 Lily laughs, this small awkward sound. “Listen,” she begins, inhaling. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already are,” says Alex, grinning.

“No, I mean— _fuck,_ this is going to be weird, but about that girl Piper—” It’s Alex’s turn to breathe in deeply. _Here we go._ “She’s Bill Chapman’s daughter, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex replies cautiously. “Why?”

“And you’re—I mean. _Christ._ ”

“Just ask, Lily.”

“Right,” Lily nods. “Are you guys dating, or—”

“Jesus, kid,” Alex laughs loudly, looking around to check who might have overheard that. _These children are going to be the death of my career._ “Of _course_ not.” Alex puts a hand idly on her chest, like she’s checking if there’s a twinge there – some sort of expected _ache_. If there’s anything, it must be too light to be noticed.

Lily breathes out. “Wow,” she says. “Well. At least I’m not going to piss off the managing editor’s daughter when I ask you out to drinks, right?”

Alex blinks. _What the hell is going on here?_ “Choosing your battles carefully, huh?” she just says, letting herself _look_ at Lily like she’s a _person_ , and not her job. _Still,_ Alex thinks, _This girl is not Piper._

“You do realize I _am_ asking you out to drinks—like, for real?”

Alex smiles. At any other time in her life, this would have been an easy yes. _Not tonight, Al_. “Not tonight kid,” she says, tucking the envelope under her arm. “You’ll get my shortlist tomorrow.”

Lily breathes out shakily. “No hard feelings,” she says, hands in her pockets. “Tomorrow then?”

Alex nods before turning around and heading for the door. She thinks about her empty apartment and the lonely Friday night ahead. _Shit._ She slides her phone out of her pocket and makes a call just as she steps out.

Piper picks up after three rings. “Alex.” The way she says her name now – noticeably calmer and softer.

“You’re right, okay?” Alex says, leaning against the building, arms folded in front of her chest. “Maybe I was flirting a little. And I’m _sorry_ , okay?”

The pause Piper gives her lasts forever and half, and Alex just keeps holding her breath, waiting. “I overreacted,” Piper says finally. “But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t pissed. Because I really was.”

“Okay,” Alex says carefully, starting her long walk home. “For the record, I was looking forward to ending this week with you.”

“So was I,” Piper says. “But I’m at uni right now. One of my roommates is having a party tonight.”

Alex feels herself slowing to a stop, disappointment weighing her down. “Oh,” she says. “Right. Of course.”

“Sorry,” Piper offers. “Maybe I’ll come by tomorrow morning?”

“Breakfast sounds nice,” says Alex. “I’ll see you then.”

“Gotta run,” says Piper before hanging up.

 _So that’s that._ Alex breathes in the night, wondering if she should have said yes to Lily and drinks instead. She looks behind her and sees their office building’s door as a small point in the horizon. _No use going back now,_ she thinks, shoving her hands back into her pockets and walking on home.

*

Time passes criminally slowly.

Alex sits down by her window and looks over Lily’s photos, trying to come up with a shortlist, half-expecting the effort to lull her to sleep. It doesn’t – not even after going over the prints thrice and coming up with fifteen shortlisted photos after three runs.

Sleep just doesn’t come.

 _Fuck,_ Alex thinks, breaking out the vodka and pouring herself a shot – something she almost never does anymore, at least not with Piper around. _Piper._ Alex tries not to think about Piper and her uni friends making a night of this – who are these people? Why does Piper never talk about them at length? Is there a secret she’s keeping from her?

 _Fuck,_ she just thinks again, downing her second shot. Slowly, her brain starts feeling like it is being wrapped in a damp, warm cloth as a comfortable buzz fills her.

She’s staring at the near-empty street so intently that she almost doesn’t notice the knock on the door. _Jesus, if this is the doorman with my bills—_ Alex gets to her feet and shakily makes her way to the front door, pulling it open with an unsteady hand.

Alex finds Piper standing outside. _My eyes are fucking with me, aren’t they?_ “Piper?” Alex says, breathless and confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Party’s a bust,” she says, shrugging. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Alex smirks. “I live here.”

“Thought you’d be out drinking. With someone.”

Alex shakes her head. “No, I’m not.” She steps aside as she pushes the door open wider, beckoning Piper to come in. There’s a brief flash of hesitation on Piper’s face before she steps in carefully, moving to shrug off her coat.

“Let me,” says Alex, closing the door. “Is it cold out?” she asks, pulling Piper’s coat off her shoulders and down her arms, deliberately slow. Piper breathes in, shivering lightly. Alex tries not to gasp too audibly.

Once the coat’s fully off, Piper turns around in Alex’s arms, hands resting upon Alex’s shoulder. “I know I said I’d be here in the morning,” she says, leaning in to whisper in Alex’s ear. “But damn, I just wanted to be here tonight.”

Alex breathes her in. “ _Jesus_ , kid. You’re giving me whiplash here.”

“Yeah, about that,” says Piper. “I’m here to apologize, okay?” She holds Alex’s eye, a lazy smile on her lips. “We’re good at that, aren’t we?”

 _Oh God._ Alex caves first, pulling Piper in for a kiss. The phrase in her head is _drawing first blood._ Piper wraps her arms around Alex’s waist in kind, steadying herself and her weakening knees, as Alex tries to hold the both of them up while making her way blindly back into the living room, eyes closed and feeling for the couch.

When her leg brushes against it, Alex thinks _there you are;_ she shifts around to lower Piper carefully on it, breaking the kiss to catch her breath. “So,” says Alex, nipping at the skin just under Piper’s ear. “I believe I owed you an apology first.”

Piper’s chest heaves as Alex slides down Piper’s body and starts apologizing on her knees.


	14. floor plan

Piper stares as her to-do list expands and contracts hourly as D-Day approaches. “Jesus,” she comments to Alex once. “This feels like an _actual_ pregnancy, and I’m the one giving birth.”

“What, and we’re all the fathers or something?” says Alex, smirking.

“ _Not_ funny,” Piper says.

Alex just winks at her. These days, Alex is more relaxed – she’s already got all of the profiles out of the way, having already sent them to Page One for editing and layout several days ahead of deadline. With her hands now practically empty, Alex is now hanging out at Piper’s desk, asking her about ways she could help.

 _Well, you could stop being so attractive and distracting,_ Piper wants to tell her, but she holds her tongue.

*

Bill convenes the last deployment meeting two nights before D-Day. Piper stands on stage with him, whiteboard marker in hand.

“I would like to start this meeting by thanking everyone who’s pulled through so far – we’ve been getting good feedback so far on the run-up series,” he begins, gesturing over to Nicky, Boo and Alex, who are sitting off the side, smug grins on their faces. Piper looks away, trying to keep a serious face.

“Look at how smug these idiots look,” says Bill, and the crowd erupts in applause. Nicky and Boo both stand to bow. “So we’re having two more parts to that special coming out tomorrow and on the event day itself.” The crowd hushes at the word _event._ Piper looks around to survey the faces in the room. _I’m surrounded by veteran journalists who look like they’re all scared of this._

“Well, don’t go all pale on me now,” Bill says, shattering the silence. Nervous laughter fills the room. “We’ve pooled together a powerhouse. We _got_ this.” And then, turning to Piper, “I’m sure at one point you’ve all talked to Piper.” The room breaks out in slow, tentative applause. From her corner, Alex lets out a whistle, and Nicky and Boo follow suit, turning the otherwise polite clapping to semi-raucous hooting.

“Seriously?” Piper asks as the room quiets down. She glances at Alex, who just _beams_ at her, like she’s proud of her or something. Piper feels something flutter inside her chest. “Anyway,” she says, turning to the rest of the room and clearing her throat. “Let’s run through the program, shall we?”

*

On the eve of the event, Piper paces around Alex’s living room, glass of wine in hand as she looks out the window. “I can’t sleep,” she says, the jitters in her chest making it hard for her to quiet down.

Alex is on the couch, reading. “Piper,” she says calmly, patting the space beside her. “Relax.”

Piper shakes her head, taking a sip. “You’re one to say,” she just says, eyeing the spot that Alex is smoothing absently. “You’re not the one floor directing tomorrow.”

Alex sighs, finally looking up from her book. “Piper. You’ll be _fine_.” She puts the book back on the table and reaches for Piper, pulling her closer and forcing her to sit. Piper surrenders easily, letting herself be dragged, a small pout on her face. “You should have seen yourself during the levelling off meeting the other day.”

Piper makes a face upon being reminded. “Oh please,” she just says, downing the rest of her wine. “I must have looked like a dork.”

“A dork who knew her shit pretty well, if that’s the case,” Alex grins, reaching for Piper’s empty glass. “More wine?”

“Yes please,” says Piper, watching Alex disappear into the kitchen. _I shouldn’t be here,_ she thinks, sinking further into the couch. _I should be at home, getting some sleep—not here, getting drunk._ Alex comes back with a glass in each hand, handing Piper hers with a steady smile.

“Look. What’s the worst that could happen?” Alex asks, facing Piper on the couch, her free hand idly playing with the hem of Piper’s shirt.

“Well, the venue could burn down.”

“ _Piper._ ”

“Okay, okay, I know,” sighs Piper, drinking from her glass. “You’re right. What _is_ the worst that could happen?” Alex just looks at her as she drinks, elbow resting upon the back of the couch, hand now fiddling with Piper’s collar. The way she brushes against Piper so lightly makes the hair on the back of Piper’s neck stand on one end, and everywhere else, it’s just _goose bumps._ In this light, Alex looks as if she’s saying, _Nothing’s gonna go wrong, babe. We got this._

“Right,” Alex says, that tell-tale rasp at the end of it as she finishes her glass. The move pushes Piper to down the rest of her wine in one damn go, because _Jesus,_ now Alex is inching closer and nuzzling her neck, whispering things against her skin. “Run those plans by me again?” she asks, putting away both their glasses before placing a hand on Piper’s thigh.

Piper gasps, drawing in a sharp breath, trying to get some air in her lungs as Alex digs her fingernails in lightly. “Where do you want to start?”

“Call time, of course,” says Alex, tracing soft kisses along Piper’s jaw. Piper feels her _smiling_ , and _Christ_ , how hard is it to remember what their call time is, again? “Piper?” says Alex. “What time do you need us to _come_?”

 _This woman._ Piper lets her eyes flutter closed for a moment. _Play along, Piper._ “Seven-thirty,” she finds herself saying, throat dry. “For the final briefing.”

“Mm-hmm,” says Alex, both hands now skimming the skin of Piper’s waist right under her shirt, pausing for a moment at the small of her back before tugging Piper’s top upward and off. _Oh,_ Piper thinks. _Fuck._ “And where do we go after that?” Alex pulls back a little, like she’s marvelling at her latest handiwork.

“There’s—there’s a war room at the second floor,” says Piper, eyes closing as Alex leans back in to kiss her, open-mouthed and _needy_ , and Piper finds herself blindly clawing at Alex’s shirt in kind, like she’s saying _Off off – off._

“Off,” says Piper finally, in a voice she doesn’t even recognize immediately as her own. When she opens her eyes, she realizes that she’s gone from the couch to Alex’s lap in a _split-second,_ and Alex just looks up at her, hands fastened on her hips, keeping her down. “Come _on,_ ” Piper’s saying, voice hoarse now with want, and Alex mutters an equally soft _Fuck_ as Piper’s hand makes it way down.

“ _Piper_.” All Piper wants to do is curl up with the sound Alex is making; right here, as she arches into Piper, hissing as their skins touch. “Fuck, we better have some alone time in this war room of yours, because _Jesus_ —”

 _Oh God, she’s totally going there, isn’t she?_ Piper gasps against her lips as Alex starts tugging at her shorts. “Tell me more about that room,” Alex is saying, hand finding its way under and _Christ,_ how does she expect Piper to think coherently with her hand now warm against her? Piper takes a moment to brace her hands against the back of the couch, rolling her hips into Alex, biting down on her lip to keep from crying out.

“Paint me a picture,” Alex says, nipping at Piper’s earlobe as she curls her fingers into her, and Piper slips on her shaky, sweaty knees, driving her further in and _Christ –_ right now, all she needs is for Alex to _keep talking._ “Map out all those corners for me. I need to know— _fuck_ —” Piper opens her eyes as Alex’s voice hitches, and in that moment Piper sees that everything here is simply _ruinous_. “I need to know,” Alex tries again, keeping her eyes on Piper. “About all these spaces I could fuck you against.”

 _Fuck._ When Piper comes it feels like her whole body is curling inward, starting from the tips of her toes. She feels Alex place her other hand on her hip, holding her steady, like she’s ready for Piper if Piper ever feels like coming apart at the seams, so Piper just lets it go, throwing her head back and just letting herself _sink_ into her.

A forever later, she finds herself slumped against Alex, utterly boneless, as Alex lazily kisses her neck, laughing softly.

“You all right kid?” asks Alex finally, as Piper gathers enough strength to push herself upright. “That was something else, wasn’t it?”

Piper still feels warm. “Jesus, Alex,” she just says, trying to wrap her head around what just happened. “You do realize I will spend the entire day _inside_ that room, right?”

“Wasn’t that the point?” asks Alex, unable to keep her serious face on for too long.

Piper swats Alex by the shoulder. “Asshole,” she just says fondly, leaning in for another kiss.

*

Piper listens in as her dad delivers the on the day briefing to the early birds at 7:45. She hasn’t slept at all, yet she feels extraordinarily awake, carrying around her second coffee for the day.

Nicky and Boo arrive at the same time, while Alex strolls in around 8, deliberately spacing her arrival with that of Piper’s. Nicky and Boo give her barely awake high-fives as she takes her place within the circle of Bill’s briefing.

“So we have two holding areas – there’s an ante room behind the stage, which is where we’re doing the post-speech interviews, and there’s one near the entrance over here, which is where we’ll hold them before they’re due. Up to you where you’d want to set-up camp -- web and social have reps in both areas, and they’re doing behind the scene live tweets,” says Bill. “Page One expects a generic wrap-up of the event – remember, you’re the lead here Vause. I need you to watch the whole thing.”

“Got that,” Alex says, wiping her glasses.

“Nicky and Boo – focus on your specific speakers,” Bill continues, turning to the two. “I suggest you pay more attention to the mini-press con. We already have their speeches, don’t we, Piper?”

Piper takes a look at her list. “For checking against delivery, but more or less,” she nods. “We printed sets the other night.”

“Excellent,” says Nicky. “Where can we get these copies?”

“Command Central is upstairs,” says Bill, nodding over to Piper. “That’s where Piper’s going to run this show from.”

“ _Dad._ ” Piper is blushing, of course, but for all the _wrong_ reasons. When she looks at Alex, she looks back at her and holds her eye briefly with that naughty sparkle, and Piper coughs out loud to cover the sound she just might make.

“I like calling it the War Room, just because it sounds cool,” Bill offers. “But basically it’s just this soundproofed room where Piper can scream as things don’t go the way they’re supposed to. Am I right, honey?”

 _Oh god,_ Piper thinks, feeling her cheeks burn up as Alex lets out a little laugh. “Don’t say that, we have to _visualize_ the shit out of today.”

“I was _kidding_ ,” says Bill, pulling Piper into a one-armed hug. “We _got_ this, okay?” And then, to the rest of them: “I’ll need Piper to stay put in command central while I go around the event – if you need her, get a radio.”

“Or I could just knock, basically,” says Alex. “A second floor view of the entire thing should be a good one.”

“As long as you’re not easily distracted by sidelights,” says Boo, winking at her. Piper watches the exchange and thinks briefly, _What does that mean?_ Eventually, she decides to shrug it off for later. The day is too big for _distractions_.

“I think a bird’s eye view of the entire event floor would be helpful,” Bill agrees. “But if I need you to come down, I will need you to rush.”

Piper looks away, biting her tongue, as she overhears Alex let out a giggle. It feels like they’re stuck with in the principal’s office, trying to keep up best appearances.

“These two here are up to no good,” Nicky says, wagging a playful, accusing finger at them. Boo laughs along, this time directing her wink at Piper. _Bet there are two other people here who are up to no good,_ she just thinks.

“All right, children,” Bill claps. “You’re dismissed. Disperse.” And then, to Piper, “Let’s go upstairs.”

Piper looks at Alex, who just raises her eyebrow lightly before turning around, _that_ smile on her face. _Christ,_ Piper thinks, feeling her stomach somersault at the sight. _How am I ever going to get through this day without thinking about that?_

*

“Is he there yet?”

“Piper, this is the third time you asked that in the last thirty seconds.”

“ _Alex_ ,” Piper says into her radio, nervously watching the timer on her desk. It’s still five minutes to opening, but when your _where are you_ texts to your opening speaker are not getting any replies, you tend to worry about delays.

“Relax, Piper. I told parking security to phone in as soon as the car gets into parking.” Alex is in the holding room to the entrance, taking charge of the other end of the radio, trying to calm her down. _Easy for her to relax,_ Piper thinks. _She doesn’t have panicking emcees on the other intercom._  

From where Piper’s standing, she can see the whole length of the event floor, including the backstage, where the emcees are pacing, the two of them hunched over their note cards. Piper’s about to lean over to talk to them on the intercom when something buzzes in her pocket: _Phone!_ Piper slides it out quickly, if only to read a single-word reply.

“Alex!” Piper says into her radio. “He’s _parking_!”

“Copy that,” Alex says back. “We need someone from audio to hook him up to his wireless when he gets here.”

“I already sent one over—”

“Never mind, I got him.”

“Him the audio guy or him the CEO who’s opening today’s event—”

“Him the audio guy,” Alex laughs. “Adorable dumbass.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Piper says, smiling as the sound of Alex’s laughter sits warmly in her ear. “Careful what you say over somewhat public broadcast.”

“Yeah, check your language, Vause. Good thing I’m holding Bill’s radio for him.”

 _Nicky._ “Hah. How’s the setup back there Nicky?” Piper asks, recovering her professional voice.

“Eh,” Nicky begins, yawning into the radio. “Microphones, wires, speakers, wires, tables, even more wires...”

“Glad to hear you so excited,” Alex cuts in. “Cherish your downtime because your CEO has landed, Piper.”

Piper looks at the clock. _One minute thirty._ “This feels like a fucking ballgame,” Piper says. “Hook him up, Alex. Nicky, go tell dad.” Piper turns the radio off and leans over to the emcee’s intercom to ask how they’re doing.

“Nervous,” says one of the hosts, a guy named John. Pleasant-looking but just generally jittery, in Piper’s opinion. “We’re on in sixty.”

“Make that fifty,” his co-host Daya chimes in, relatively more confident and charming.  Piper hadn’t been the one who cast them, but she could see their tandem working well, if the chemistry’s any indication.

“The first speaker’s in, so we’re starting on time. Breathe in,” says Piper. When she looks at her counter, they’re down to thirty-five. “Pull yourselves together and good luck.”

 _This is it,_ Piper inhales, touching her headset absently. She’s got one hand braced against the desk, her programme notes open all over. She’s watching the timer on the dashboard. _Twenty._ “Lights,” she says into her radio. The venue dims as the sound of a distant drum roll slowly gets louder.

In her ear, Alex goes, softly: “You ready kid?”

Piper nods, forgetting for a moment that Alex cannot see her. Instead, she tries to look for Alex in the crowd. She finds Alex standing just outside the door to the holding room, looking in Piper’s general direction, and all Piper can think about is _Get here._

When the lights are turned back on, Piper has to shield her eyes in surprise. She hears Daya greet the crowd first, before John falls in step right beside her, slipping into easy banter and Piper just thinks: _Yes._ They take the preliminary spiels out of the way – anthem and sponsors and necessary acknowledgements – before introducing the first speaker.

The crowd erupts in applause, and for the first time in so many days Piper feels herself relax, finally. She lets herself sink into her plastic chair, for a moment just _breathing_. She’s just about to close her eyes when she’s interrupted by a knock on the door, and Piper nearly falls off her seat at the sound.

“Shit,” Piper says, tugging her earpiece off in her surprise. The door knob turns and in comes Alex,  grinning from ear-to-ear. "What the _fuck_ , Alex." Piper steadies herself, two feet now planted on the floor. "Can I help you?"

Alex laughs. " _Easy,_ " she says, stepping in with her hands up. "Just wanted to check in on you."

"Didn't have to be so _stealthy_ ," Piper says, pouting at Alex, as the tense moment dissipates and is replaced by something more... Comfortable. _Familiar._

 _Dangerous,_ Piper thinks, as the feeling pools deep in her gut, darkly. Alex approaches her slowly, pushing her glasses up above her head, like she could see Piper better this way in the dark.

"So," Alex says, perching herself on the table -- close, but not close _enough,_ and Piper finds herself _leaning_ into her, suddenly craving her warmth. Alex picks up one of Piper's papers off the table, idly flipping through it. "War room, huh?"

 _There's that rasp again,_ Piper notes. " _Alex_." It comes out too softly, almost like she's pleading for _something._ She watches as Alex touches the table's edge lightly, running her fingertips across it. When Piper looks up, she sees Alex looking at her intently, glasses still off and just _smiling._

"Just how _soundproof_ is this room?"

" _Jesus Christ._ You are not--we are not--"

"I was _kidding,_ " Alex says, and Piper lets out a breath she doesn't even remember holding in the first place. Alex goes ahead and holds Piper's wrist, taking it off Piper's lap. "Okay, maybe just a little."

" _Alex._ " Piper makes sure of her tone this time -- as firm and _decisive_ as she could manage. Not that this deters Alex in any way noticeable - if anything, she inches even closer to Piper, tucking stray hair behind Piper's ear.

Piper stands and breathes in, looking back on the event floor -- the talk's in full swing, and when she looks for her dad, she sees him on the stage, seated beside the two hosts, listening intently.

"Shouldn't you be checking against delivery or anything?" Piper asks. She tries keeping her eyes on the stage, but the room is so full of _Alex_ that she's all Piper really sees anyway. Piper feels her walk over and stand behind her, now _terribly_ close.

Alex places her hands beside Piper's on the table. "For events like these, transcripts are already pretty much very close to delivery," she says, pressing against Piper lightly. Piper feels the warmth spread like a fire from her spine outward, radiating through all her nerve endings.

 _Shit._ Piper closes her eyes for a second, trying to let the moment pass; instead, she just feels herself gripping the table edge tighter, as elsewhere the heat keeps building.

On the floor, she hears the faintest sounds of laughter. Probably something the CEO said. Right. She sees her father clapping and nodding, his smile wide, like he's thinking _Yes, yes to all of it._

In her ear, someone's going, _Piper, time check. We're halfway through._

 _Wow,_ she just thinks, straightening her back slightly. _Thirty minutes gone already?_ Right then, Alex closes in around her, an almost hug. And then she plants a kiss on Piper's nape.

"Alex." Piper tries a little warning this time around -- something Alex does not heed, at all.  "My father could see us."

"No, he can't," Alex says into Piper's other ear, the one without the headset. "I checked."

 _Oh._ Piper turns around in her arms, letting herself touch Alex back now for the first time in this room. "You did?" _Of course, she did, Piper,_ she thinks. _This is Alex._ "Whatever for?"

Alex laughs, that familiar low rumble in her throat, just like all the other times she's had evil in her head. Piper feels herself squirm lightly, her jeans feeling tighter by the minute. "For science. Of course," Alex says. "I also know that, aside from your soundproofed walls and tinted window, it also takes approximately ten minutes to get from the other end of the floor to _this_ door. Stairs included."

 _Oh._ Piper feels her cheeks burn. _God, I don't think even the dark can hide this blush._ "And what are you trying to say here, Ms Vause?"

In her other ear, someone's saying, _Fifteen minutes, Piper. It doesn't look like we're going overtime._

"Have you any idea what we could do in ten minutes?" Alex's hands starts roaming under Piper's top, while her lips on Piper's neck, light and careful.

 _Fuck._ Piper lets her head fall back a little as she urges Alex to come, _come_ closer, pulling her in by both arms. "Fuck it," Piper says. "We got fifteen." Alex leans in and kisses her, slow and tender, because _they have time._ Her fingers thread into her hair, locking Piper into place, like she's looking to take out all the air from Piper's lungs.

_Ten minutes, Piper._

The sound of shuffling papers fills the room as Alex pushes them off the table and urges Piper on it. _We're going to make an awful lot of mess,_ Piper thinks, but all of it feels so faraway as her world is reduced to one thing.

_Seven minutes, Piper. We're wrapping up, lights ready._

Piper's good as lost as Alex leans into her closer. Piper wraps her legs around Alex's waist out of instinct, hips rolling against _whatever_ of Alex is nearest and _fuck_ none of it is good enough or close enough or warm enough--

_Three minutes. Sound on standby. Is the next speaker ready?_

_What?_ Piper pushes up against Alex, suddenly all too sober. _Fuck._ "Alex--shit--we should have checked on the next--is it Randolph Porto of Avi?"

Alex peels herself off Piper, flushed and confused. " _What?_ " she's asking, re-doing her buttons. "Isn't Porto for this afternoon?"

 _Shit._ "No, he--" Piper searches frantically for the rest of her programme notes. "He's on before lunch, because he says he has something-- _motherfucker._ "

_Piper, he's wrapping up. Where is Porto?_

Piper goes to her radio. "Get me audio," she says. "Is Porto getting hooked up in the holding room?"

"Tall guy with glasses, right?" a voice says in return. "He's just about to walk in." _Thank fucking Christ._ "We're getting him wired now."

"Good." Piper tugs at her earpiece, tossing it on her desk as the first event of the day wraps up in a flurry of applause and anthemic music. She sees her father shaking hands with the speaker on-stage, photographers flocking to the front. Piper lets out a shaky breath.

"Hey."

" _Don't._ " Piper shrugs Alex's hand off, feeling some sort of chilly dread wrap around her stomach. _What if Porto had been late? What if he had needed reminding?_ "God, that was _seriously_ fucked, Alex."

"Well, _technically_ not yet, not really--"

"Do _not_ make jokes," says Piper, shoving Alex's shoulder. "I'm _serious._ "

"Okay," says Alex, sighing as she fixes Piper's collar. "I'm sorry, okay. That was careless."

“And _stupid,_ you do know how long we’ve worked on this, right? We can’t fuck it up now.” Outside, the lights are dimming again, signalling the shift to the next segment. There’s a five-minute restroom break for the participants, which they can also use to visit the sponsor booths lining the main entrance.

“Okay,” Alex says, straightening her collar. “I better check what the web guys are breaking about that, no?”

“Yeah,” says Piper weakly. “Just—I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Right.” Alex heads for the door, pausing to look back briefly at Piper before opening it. “Take it easy kid. We got this.”

Piper smiles at her, watching her shut the door. _Right,_ Piper just thinks. _But for a moment there, though, we almost lost it._

 _Piper, we’re back on in sixty._ Squaring her shoulders, Piper tries to focus on her programme. “Yes,” she says into her radio, waiting for the music. “Let’s get through this so we could already get to lunch.”


	15. tiny vessels

“Bill’s been asking for you all morning,” Nicky tells Alex when they see each other in the mini-presscon room. Porto’s already onstage and Boo’s out there, taking notes. “Where have you been?”

“Isn’t Porto _your_ speaker?” Alex asks back instead, evading the question. “What are you doing back here?”

“I handle the mini-press, Boo handles check against delivery,” Nicky shrugs. “We’ll switch later. By the way -- we’re sending all our notes from the speeches over to you later. How’s your coverage going?”

Alex shrugs, looking around. “Fine, I guess.” If she were to be totally honest, the event’s still a bit overwhelming, but by her own estimates, she expects to get a better grip on things after lunch. Alex listens as her stomach grumbles lightly, hunger slowly creeping in.

“What, Chapman didn’t feed you?” Nicky smirks. “I actually thought you were upstairs sneaking in a snack or something.”

“Nicky,” says Alex, shaking her head. “Just—no, all right?”

“Hey. I’m too busy writing ten thousand characters today,” says Nicky, laughing. “But think about it Vause. We’re closing the bet in, what, a couple of weeks?”

“What?” _A couple of weeks. Fourteen days._ Alex blinks, trying to shrug it off as a casual thing _she already knew_. “I--I wasn’t even thinking about that,” she says instead. “How’s that thing going?”

“Eh, it’s a tight race,” Nicky shrugs. “Boo is up by five points, but _I’m_ going out with Lorna tonight, so.”

“Really? _Finally,_ ” Alex says. Right on cue, the crowd outside applauds, and the timing’s really spot-on that they have to laugh out loud. “Christ. How long did the asking take you?”

“A couple of days.” Nicky fiddles with her binder, leaning in to show Alex the current tally: A pretty detailed diagram of who’s boned who, basically, complete with 1x1 photos and point values. It’s all pretty sickening, come to think about it, but this is Nicky and Boo – this one’s par for the course.

“I am deeply disturbed that you’re actually carrying that binder around on a daily basis,” says Alex, moving to quickly close it as a random production person walks past them.

Nicky tucks it under her arm. “Well, you’ll never know when you’re going to need it.” And then, “You and Piper seem to be inseparable these days.”

“Nicky.”

“And don’t even give me that _She’s my intern_ line because she _hasn’t_ been your intern for a couple of months now, am I right?”

Alex tries to piece together how it all must have looked like to Nicky, who, to her credit, hasn’t been on her case over those two months, despite that observation. “I guess you’re right,” Alex just says.

“That you’re inseparable, or that she’s not your intern?”

Alex finds herself laughing. “Does any of it still matter?” It’s more a question to herself than to Nicky, all things considered. “You said it yourself: This is all ending in a couple of weeks.” Alex counts the months back in her head. “This season’s ending early, huh?”

“I don’t make the calls,” Nicky shrugs, nodding her head toward the general direction of the stage, where Bill’s seated. “So. Do I expect my $100 already or...”

“ _Jesus,_ Nicky, what the _fuck_?” Alex is laughing, but she’s not entirely sure she still finds the humor in that. _Shit, Vause,_ she just thinks to herself. _Two weeks._ She wonders if Piper would have at least said anything about that. _Surely she knew?_

“I’m just saying – I have a list of things to do with my _winnings_.”

“Whatever Nicky,” Alex says. “Plan away.”

Nicky’s eyes widen the way they do when something clicks in her brain. “You,” she says, pointing an accusing finger playfully at Alex. “You’ve totally done it.”

Alex blinks, adjusting her glasses. “Done what?”

_"You’ve_ been holding back on us.”

“I have been _busy,_ ” Alex counters. “But yeah, plan away. At least you could do that with your winnings.” It’s out unbelievably _bitter_ that it takes Alex aback. Nicky just gives her a confused look. She opens her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by the sound of static coming from somewhere behind her.

_You little shit._ Alex feels her eyes go wide as she steps closer to Nicky. “Where’s your goddamn radio, Nichols?” she demands, whispering.

“Fuck if I know—”

Alex reaches behind her to snatch the radio that Nicky must have haphazardly tucked there. _Fuck._

“Holy _shit_ ,” says Nicky. “Was that—was somebody listening in on us?”

“I don’t _know_ , fuck,” Alex holds the unit closer to her face and listens in as Piper voice breaks into the white noise, calling for _Audio_ somewhere.

_Piper._ Applause breaks out in the audience as Porto’s segment ends. _Shit._ She takes Nicky’s radio and speaks into it. “Piper.”

There’s a lull before Piper replies with, “Nicky, standby, Porto’s heading to mini-press in a bit. You ready?”

Shaking her head, Nicky takes the radio from Alex, and says, “Copy that.” And then, turning it off for Alex to see, she adds, “Well. I guess I’ll see you at lunch.” She gives Alex a small salute before turning around, pen now in hand and notebook open.

Alex touches her stomach absently at the mention of the word. Somehow though, she doesn’t feel as hungry anymore.

*

Alex uses lunch to work. She mingles with the speakers and their staff, asking around about their expo experience so far, pretending to jot things down for The Story. _Pretending._ Truth is, Alex already has 70 percent of the story finished, thanks to the advance copies, but even then she's here now, _circulating_.

It's all good distraction. Sometimes, Alex loves being around people--the way a crowd like this affords her the opportunity to watch and observe. Alex weaves in and out of circles, shaking hands and kissing cheeks of random executives, all these faces and names in close succession -- all of it just a big jumbled mess in her head.

Plus: It's a completely legit reason to drink wine in the middle of the day.

"Hey." When Alex spins around, there's a camera in her face--a click followed by an unceremonious flash of light.

" _Jesus,_ kid," Alex says, taking off her glasses and wiping them. "Careful where you point that thing."

"Sorry." Lily peeks out from behind the camera, smiling at her. "I couldn't resist."

Alex feels herself smiling right back. _No need to be awkward,_ she tells herself. _We’re all just here for The Job._ "You're covering?"

"Can you believe there are actually _four_ of us deployed here?" says Lily.  "Your event is big and crazy. Congrats by the way."

Alex tries not to notice how Lily looks when she smiles. _Like she’s powering a small town,_ she thinks anyway. "Four?" Alex says, taking a sip from her wine glass. "I didn't even know we had _that_ many photographers."

"I know right?" Lily says. "Imagine _my_ surprise." Alex has to laugh.  _Some humor this girl has._ "Where did you score all this wine?"

Alex shakes her head. "Nuh-uh, you kids should stay away from alcohol."

" _Kids_ ," says Lily, laughing. "Please. I'm twenty-six."

"Really?"

"So I've been told." Lily flips her hair playfully at Alex, who lets out a laugh. "Keep your flattery to yourself. I need my wine.” And then off the look Alex gives her: “Come _on_ , Alex. It's no fun being sober around here."

Alex sighs. "Fine." She signals to one of the waiters, pointing to her glass. "Wait here." Alex moves toward the makeshift bar, staffed by one of the old caterers whom Alex knows from a couple of previous events, and comes back to Lily with two glasses.

Lily lights up like a child with a new toy. "Yay," she says, taking the glass from Alex. "Thank _you._ "

"Drink slowly," says Alex. "I don't want to get blamed for all the blurry photos of the next couple of segments."

"Oh, like _you_ don't write drunk."

"That's _different._ "

"Different _how_?"

Alex lets the laugh trickle out of her in short bursts this time, unable as she was to hold it in. "Jesus -- you do know you're completely misunderstanding Hemingway here, right?"

Lily downs the rest of her wine, setting the empty glass on a nearby table before taking another photo of Alex's totally un-ready face. "And for all the good reasons," she just says. "Thanks for the drink. See you around."

Alex watches her go, thinking, _Twenty-six huh?_ And then, _Also probably staying longer than two weeks._

_Christ, Alex. Why are you even thinking about this?_

_*_

"Vause? Hello?"

Alex blinks, registering Boo's voice finally. "Oh. Hey yourself, Boo." Overhead, a voice announces that they're fifteen minutes away from resumption of the program, and by then the humdrum at the lunch area has already quieted down.

"I've been trying to get a working conversation with you here. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry," says Alex, still distracted. "You were saying?"

"I was asking if you've seen Nicky. We're switching for the next segment." Boo's still waving her hand in front of Alex's face, like she can confirm _comprehension_ this way. "By the way, we'll be sending--"

"--Summaries and highlights of the speeches, Nicky told me," Alex nods. "I ran into her in the mini-press room, but I haven't seen her since." And then, nodding over to the radio hanging on Boo's belt loop, "Use your radio."

"I _have_ been radioing her," says Boo. "Either she's got her radio off or she's getting laid in a store room somewhere in this venue." Boo looks away with that tense look of _competition_ on her face that Alex finds altogether ridiculous. "Hot _damn_ if that woman is getting laid right now."

" _Jesus,_ the two of you."

"Oh, don't play the _innocent_ card on me now, Vause -- I see through you."

Alex lifts her brow. "Really now."

"As I've said, I'm more than willing to lose this bet to Nichols if it means you get what you want."

_Well, if that wasn't surprisingly tender._ "Well," says Alex. "I appreciate your concern about my _wants_ , Boo, I really do, but right now I just really need to reiterate that you have to leave me the _fuck_ out of this bet, Christ."

Boo looks at her, confused for a brief moment before laughing softly. "God, what happened to you Vause?" she asks, chuckling. "Nichols is right. Chapman _got_ to you."

Alex opens her mouth to say something, but _nothing_ comes out. _Now's a good time for one of your easy lies,_ she tells herself, but still, her mind is all _Piper_ and no words.

Boo just looks at her like she's challenging her. _Where's the comeback, wise-ass?_ "Oh well," says Boo, checking her watch. "I better get going, because there's no way I'm doing check against delivery two segments in a row." She moves past Alex, patting her squarely on her shoulder. "I guess I better get my hundred bucks ready."

"Fuck off," says Alex, forcing a laugh out as she shoves Boo by the shoulder, making her way toward the main event floor.

When Alex gets there, people are already returning to their seats, and she chooses to stand in a spot at the far back, somewhere near the audio booth. She tries not to look at the war room's second floor window -- heavily tinted, as before, and even if she squints, there's no way to tell how Piper's doing inside.

Alex thinks about it. _Piper needs to focus,_ she tells herself, turning her eyes back toward the stage. The lights have begun dimming, signalling the start of the next portion.

Beside her, she hears Piper's voice on the tech booth radio. _Two minutes, guys,_ Piper's saying.

Alex looks at her watch -- it's barely 1 in the afternoon. _That’s not two minutes,_ she just thinks. _That’s eight more hours._

*

Whenever she feels like paying Piper a visit, Alex tries to remember her voice as she said, _We can’t fuck this up now_ , and immediately, the urge fades away. Instead, Alex focuses on coaching the web guys about what to break on the site, and collating Nicky and Boo’s notes as they come in. After all, perhaps it’s worth trying to clear out the rest of her evening, to make way for _plans._

_Plans._ The word puts a smirk on Alex’s face.  

“Not even 5 p.m. and already you’re smiling to yourself.”

“You again,” Alex greets, looking up from her screen to acknowledge Lily’s presence in the room. She gives the web guys high fives before smiling at Alex fully. “You done with your coverage?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Lily says, sitting on the empty seat beside Alex’s makeshift station. “Thank God. I was getting nauseous from all the appreciative clapping.”

“What kind of horrible person are you?” Alex asks, grinning wider. “Who _hates_ appreciative clapping?”

Lily sighs, stretching her legs. “Someone who’s been on her feet for too long,” she says. She takes her camera off her neck, puts it on the table next to Alex’s laptop. “Wanna see my shots? I could use some help with the names and captions.”

Alex shrugs. “Sure thing.” She takes Lily’s camera in her hand and flips through the first few shots. “How do you want the captions?”

“Oh. You want to do them right now?” Lily blinks, rummaging into her bag. “I thought you’d be a little _busier_.”

“Fuck off,” Alex laughs. She’s not Piper, of course – but there's something about Lily that just _tickles_ her, and Alex can’t help herself from at least noting that. “You want those captions or not?”

“ _Chill_ , lady,” Lily says, leaning over to hand Alex her notebook and a pen, fingers brushing against Alex’s forearm along the way – something Alex has to actively ignore, as she goes ahead and proceeds to write down the names.

“So,” Lily says, watching as Alex writes in her notebook, so close now that she’s almost pushing up against Alex. “What are your plans tonight?”

Alex smiles. _Not this again._ “Tonight I plan to sleep without waking in the middle of the night thinking of _this_ event,” she says, keeping her eyes on the paper. “Haven’t had those in a while, and now that we are _done_ , I think I’d like to try sleeping. See if I could do it till morning”

“Right,” Lily says, resting her face on her forearm. “Grandma.”

Alex laughs. “When you get to my age, you’d understand.”

“And the night after that? Or, fine, the night after?”

_Persistence,_ Alex notes. _Haven’t had those in a while, either._ Alex keeps writing, determined to finish the first ten shots before finally turning to Lily to address her questions, eye to eye. “Listen, kid.”

“Here we go,” Lily breathes in, pushing herself up off the table and leaning back into her seat. “Gently now, Alex.”

Alex looks at her, shaking her head as she laughs softly. “Do not get me wrong, you seem like a nice girl--”

“But you _are_ dating Piper, aren’t you?” Lily says, smiling as she drops her voice to a whisper. “Damn. I should have seen through that lie the first time around.”

Alex looks away, the word _lie_ ringing in her ear. _I did not want to have to lie to you,_ she thinks, before catching herself. _Come on, Vause. You’ve been lying to everyone – why spare this one?_

“Really, Lily,” Alex begins, clearing her throat. “Had this been some other time, I would have said yes in a heartbeat.” _Well, that one’s a lie, too, isn’t it Vause?_

_Isn’t it?_

“Christ,” Lily sighs. “Does Piper know? She does no?” Alex just shrugs, saying nothing. " _Fuck_ , I’m getting blacklisted, aren’t I?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it doesn’t work that way,” says Alex.

“I’m going to get banned from all these nice events because the managing editor’s daughter _hates_ me.”

“Piper doesn’t _hate_ you.” _Okay, maybe just a little,_ Alex thinks. _Somewhere my soul is slowly being frayed. “_ Tell you what. Let’s resched, all right? Just not tonight.” _What did you just do here, Vause? What are you trying to do?_ She caps Lily’s pen and hands her notebook back over. “Your captions, miss.”

“Well,” Lily says, touching Alex’s hand briefly as she takes back her things. “At least I have my captions.” Lily’s smiling like she means it – like she’s _hopeful_ about something, and Alex does not know whether to pull away first or shift her eyes. “Thanks for your help.” 

And then she leans over and gives Alex a quick kiss on the cheek, the gesture taking no more than two seconds before Lily pushes past her and makes her way toward the door. Alex doesn’t hear her running, but when she turns around she’s no longer there.

_Goddamn,_ Alex just thinks, feeling the spot on her face tingle.

“Hey Vause.” Alex whips her head back around, sees Nicky hanging by the fire exit in the far corner, smiling at her. “What was that about?”

Alex bites her lip. “I’m not entirely sure,” she tells her – the first _true_ thing she’s said right here, come to think about it.

Nicky shrugs, pointing at her watch. “Two weeks,” she just says, before getting out.

Alex does not know what to make of that, either.

*

The after-party kicks off around 7, thirty minutes after the programme wraps up, and Alex spends the first few minutes of it looking for Piper. She eyes the radios lying around, only to decide against them in the end.  _That would be no good,_ she just thinks, as she keeps scanning the event floor. _All that awkward explaining I have to do if Bill happens to be holding his._

One would think someone as tall as Alex would have an easier time locating a person, but after a fifteen-minute fruitless search Alex just decides to make her way to the war room, in the end.

She finds Piper still inside, drinking from a bottle while scanning the floor, an open folder in her hand.  

Alex knocks at the open door before stepping in. “Is this a bad time?” Alex asks softly. Piper turns to her, smiling wearily in the dark.

“Hey,” Piper greets her, the exhaustion in her voice undeniable. Alex closes the door behind her gently. “Congratulations.”

“You too,” says Alex. “Why aren’t you at the party downstairs? I’ve been looking for you.” Alex takes a few steps closer to stand beside Piper by the table, just close enough so she could look out the window herself. From up here Alex could see more clearly how the setup has changed – less seats, more cocktail tables, and from this high up, Alex marvels at how she could actually tell that people are now more relaxed.

_Celebration,_ Alex just thinks, sneaking a glance at Piper, who just keeps staring at all these people, beer bottle in hand now more than halfway done.

“Piper?”

“Really, Alex?” Piper says, briefly before drinking from her beer again. “You were looking for me?”

The way she asks the question feels like she’s skewering Alex with a hot knife. _I do not like that tone,_ Alex thinks. “I was. What’s that supposed to mean?”

Piper shrugs. “Nothing. Thought you’d be... somewhat preoccupied.”

“Piper.” Alex watches Piper turn off a monitor she has not noticed until now, and in that moment, Alex just _knows,_ the pit in her stomach just _growing_ like it’s threatening to burst inside of her.

_Piper knows_. Alex has to swallow hard, staring at Piper’s CCTV monitor, now dark and blank. Piper finishes her drink quietly, sliding the folder in her hand toward Alex.

“My father came by earlier to hand me this,” she says, breathing in, touching the underside of her wrist to her temple. _Fuck, is she crying?_ Alex holds her breath as she opens it – the folder contains Piper’s internship evaluation papers. The one on top is a chart that Alex is familiar with, stamped with her name at the bottom. _This needs my signature,_ Alex thinks stupidly.

_Fuck._ “So it’s true, then?” Alex says, trying to keep the shake out of her voice. “We’re letting you kids go a few months early?” Piper nods, sniffing lightly. “Well, _fuck._ I thought Nicky was kidding.”

“Like she was kidding about the $100?” It’s out so _quietly_ that Alex has to take a moment to absorb all its sharp, jagged edges. _Shit._ “Her radio was on. Not like I could do anything about that.”

“Kid, listen--”

“Is there, like, a scenario here where _you_ win some money? Because we could totally go for that, split the winnings between the two of us—”

“ _Pipes_ ,” Alex says, trying to inch closer.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Piper says, inching away. “You don’t get to call me that.”

“I swear to God—”

“Everything’s just a game to you,” Piper continues. “Well, it has been _fun_ , hasn’t it?”

“I’m not even in on this,” Alex says. “It’s a game, it’s been on for years, but I swear I’m not on it. Not this time.”

“Not _this_ time,” Piper says, laughing softly now. To Alex, the sound’s all _knives._ “You mean to tell me they’re doing this without your cooperation?” Alex just nods. _Please, please -- just._ “So the whole deal with the photographer – what’s her _face_ – none of that was for _points_? Huh.”

_Fuck._

“Hmm. How was any of this supposed to make me feel better, again?”

Alex has to look away before she says, “Lily’s a friend.” _Fuck._ Why does this all feel like she’d just been caught with a gun in her hand?

“I’m sure she was,” Piper just says, before correcting herself: “ _Is._ ” And then: “What I wouldn’t give, to _not_ have turned to the CCTV at that exact moment you were being _very_ exceptional friends, no?”

“Piper.” Alex moves closer, despite Piper’s initial protestations, and fastens a hand around her wrist. “ _Look_ at me.”

When Piper turns to her, she finds that the hurt behind her eyes is too much to look at. _There’s too many things going on,_ Alex reminds herself. _This is not just about us._ And then, like a faraway cry in the back of her head, she hears Piper saying, _We can’t fuck this up now._

“When I told you—I told you I was going to be difficult,” she begins, reaching up to touch Piper’s face, only to have to pull her hand back as Piper flinches at the gesture. “I’m a fuck-up. I’m the master, actually.”

Piper can’t even afford a small smile.

“But I really do—”

“Save it,” Piper says, softly. “In two weeks, I’ll be out of here. Yes, I love you – but so what?”

_I love you. So what._ “Piper.”

“How long have we known each other? A couple of months? Is that enough?” Piper reaches over to a corner to retrieve two more bottles of beer, now lukewarm. Alex takes one, anyhow. “Not like we travelled the world together or anything like that.”

“We still could,” Alex says, drinking from her beer. It tastes more bitter when it’s not cold, but it should be good enough. “Come on, kid.”

“God, I feel like a stupid little girl,” Piper sighs. “Why did I ever think this had a shot?”

_It does,_ Alex wants to say, but deep inside she knows she’s done lying for the night. “I’m sorry, okay?” she offers instead. “Let me make it up to you.”

Piper smiles at her, but when Alex gets a glimpse of it, she knows there’s something still off about it, like it all still feels like an _ending._

_Fuck,_ she thinks, trying to empty her bottle in one go. _How did we get here?_

“No more apologies,” Piper says. And then, “Please get these forms to my dad. I’m almost done.”

Alex’s throat is dry despite having finished as much beer. _Almost._ “All right,” she just says. “Anything else?”

Piper breathes in, looking at her. “Please leave,” she says, just as quietly. “I want to be alone.”

_But you love me,_ Alex thinks, searching Piper’s face for a sign that she doesn’t mean that, only to see that she completely does. Alex just nods, taking the folder with her as she walks toward the door, closing it behind her softly.

Alex does not return to the party and heads straight for home, turning her phone off.

*

By midnight, Alex takes a look at her now-finished bottle of vodka and thinks, _Sleep is for the weak._ All night long, she’s stared at her door, waiting for Piper to knock.

It doesn’t come. Sometime around eleven, she even turned her phone back on, but all the messages that streamed right in were either from Nicky or Boo, each one sounding progressively more drunk than the last. _Let them have this night,_ Alex just thought, knocking back another shot.

Still, her door remained quiet.

By one in the morning, her eyes are already heavy, but her mind’s so alive with _what ifs: If Nicky’s radio had been off. If Piper had not been watching her CCTV._

_If Lily had not kissed her so carelessly._

_If she had just tried to keep Piper at a distance. If she had not started this mess at all._

“The fuck happened, Vause,” she finds herself saying out loud to her empty room. Her voice sounds so strange she doesn’t even think it’s her own. She finds herself laughing. _Now I’m just doomed to talk to myself, aren't I?_

And then, _I should be sleeping._

Right then, her phone goes off, and despite her exhaustion, Alex reaches over anyway, expecting another unintelligible message from Nicky.

The name flashes on her screen -- and it's not Nicky.

“I bet you’re not sleeping,” Lily’s text says.

_And you’re not Piper,_ Alex thinks, before dialing Lily’s number.

“I guess I’ll have that drink.”


	16. building for dismantling

Piper shuts her eyes at the sound of the door closing. _No more apologies._ Piper stares at her shaky hands, wondering how she managed to be strong enough for _that_.

*

She holes herself up inside the war room until the party dies down, sometime around midnight, watching from her window as the crowd thins with every hour that passes. Once, she remembers Alex. _Had she gone back down to join the others at the party?_ But then, when Piper scans the room, she finds no trace of her.

It aches; of course, it does.

Piper tries to block out the memory of that radio conversation; tries to drown Nicky’s _Do I expect my $100 already?_ underneath all that white noise. _Stop it, Piper,_ she tells herself. _What do you do now?_

A part of her wishes they talked more. _And that would have led to what, exactly?_ Against better advice, she even starts looking for Lily, thinking about the _worst_ possibilities, and when Piper finds her in one corner talking with a couple of boys whom she doesn’t even recognize, she lets out a shaky breath, followed by a small laugh. The sound echoes all over the dark, empty room.

Then, she starts crying – a long, quiet exhale that rocks her so _violently_ that she cannot breathe. It hits her like a punch in the gut that doubles her over and has her heaving, the sight of the floor below blurring as her eyes get more progressively teary. _Shit,_ she thinks, wiping at them with the undersides of her wrists. _Why the fuck am I even still here?_

_Two weeks._ Her dad had talked about getting her into an internship in a media company abroad, after. Maybe Brazil. Or Sweden. Or Amsterdam.

_I heard they’re doing great readership engagement programs in Norway,_ she remembers her father saying. _Would you like to try something in that vein? I have a couple of friends looking for interns._

_Maybe a month in Geneva?_

_How does Paris sound?_

Piper breathes in. _Not like we travelled the world together._

_Fuck you, Alex._ Piper grips the edge of the table tighter, trying to calm herself. _Slow and steady now, Piper. We got this._

There’s a soft knock on the door. “You all right?” When she turns her head, she finds her dad by the doorway, peeking in.

“Yeah,” says Piper, swallowing as she wipes at her face. “God, this day has been _exhausting._ ”

Smiling, her father just says, “I could imagine.” And then, “We’re packing up in ten. You coming?”

Piper shakes her head. She’s in no condition to sit in her father’s car for the long drive. “No, I—there’s this thing with Polly.” _Here we go again._

“All right,” her father says, nodding. “Have you thought about the options we discussed earlier?”

“Yeah, of course,” Piper says. “I still have two weeks, right?”

“Sleep on it, maybe?”

“Maybe.”

Her father hangs around briefly, like he _knows_ there’s something here that he doesn’t quite get yet. Piper holds her breath. “Good night, Piper,” he says instead, and Piper feels herself relax. “Congratulations on the job _extremely_ well done.”

Piper smiles. _Yeah. At least I could say with all certainty I did one thing right today._ “Thanks Dad,” she just says. Her dad gives her a small wave before disappearing behind the door, leaving it open.

*

Piper pretends she’s just handling egress as well, watching closely as the production team dismantles the stage. _All that glitter, reduced to this in a matter of seconds._ Deep in her chest, she feels the tiniest twinge.

_Not here, Piper. Not now._ She breathes in, tries to smile at the audio crew, who politely congratulate her as they make their way out of the exit with their equipment.  

_Keep it together, Piper._

The dismantling does not take long, and Piper marvels at all this steady efficiency. She hadn’t seen how they’d put this up, and standing here now, she’s just basically amazed at how everything had been built just strong enough to last for an entire day.

_How’s that for foresight,_ she thinks to herself, feeling a dry bitter laugh get stuck in her throat. _It’s all temporary._

Soon, she finds herself staring into the quiet dark, trying not to remember how it looked like just this morning.

_We are done here._

Piper stares at the empty ballroom one more time before turning around and heading for the door, feeling her pocket for her phone.

*

Piper keeps walking as she waits for Polly to pick up, wandering aimlessly through the quiet night. The streets are empty, and Piper just wraps her coat tighter around herself as the occasional chilly wind blows past her.

_Damn it, Polly._ Piper hangs up when it becomes apparent she isn’t coming to the phone. _Of all nights to fall asleep early, goddamn it._ Piper sighs, looking at her watch: It’s already past one, and she’s so _so_ tired, but her feet want to keep moving.

Piper knows where this is headed, where _her own feet_ are taking her, and fifteen minutes later she finds herself standing in front of Alex’s apartment building, looking for _her_ window. _I am going insane,_ Piper thinks, scanning the building’s facade. None of the windows have their lights still on, and Piper just feels like folding into herself, right there on the pavement.

_No._ Piper squares her shoulders and breathes in deeply before going ahead and heading for the elevators, pressing the button to Alex’s floor with trembling fingers. _And what are we hoping to do here, Piper?_ She stares at her reflection in the elevator mirrors – she looks like she needs to sleep for _days_.

_And I will,_ she promises herself as the elevator doors open to Alex’s floor. _After this one last thing._

Piper thought the worst thing would be that moment she has to bring herself to knock – that desperate _pulsing_ at the center of her chest that just _gnaws_ its way from the core outward. Piper feels that, but here’s the thing: It’s not the worst thing.

The worst thing is that she keeps knocking and there is no answer.

The worst thing is that the first word that comes to mind as she stands there on Alex’s doorstep is _Home._

Piper screws her eyes shut. Before she knows it, fifteen more minutes have passed, and still, no Alex.

*

Piper tries calling, but on the first try she gets an Out of Coverage message and she thinks, _That’s it._ She likes to imagine Alex asleep with her phone battery drained and unplugged – perhaps the _only_ thought of Alex that she could accept, and in the end, this is what powers her to pick herself off the floor and get out of Alex’s building.

Piper checks her watch: It’s almost three in the morning. _Where does time go when it does, no?_

It’s been a numbing couple of hours – Piper had spent them seated with her back against Alex’s closed door, thinking about the _could-have-beens_ with her eyes closed. _Stupid little girl,_ she keeps telling herself. _Three months in daddy’s office -- this was supposed to be the_ easiest _thing._

_Why did we have to complicate all that?_

It all goes by in a blur inside Piper’s head – being introduced to Alex on Day 1; stalking her with Polly at Queens; getting drunk with her in that Serbian restaurant; watching her pull out those cards from her kitchen drawer.

Hearing her call Piper _kid._ Making two coffees in the morning in _her_ kitchen.

Lying in _her_ bed, discovering _all_ of _her_ tattoos for the first time.

_Stop._ Piper steadies herself with a hand against the wall. She’s now on the ground floor, and even the doorman has to ask her if she’s all right.

“I’m fine,” she says, turning toward the exit.

“Piper?”

_Oh._ “You’re—you’re not asleep,” Piper just says to Alex – they’re the first words to come; not like Piper has much of a choice.

“What are you doing here?”

Piper notes the tiniest slur in the way Alex says _here._ “You’re _drunk_ ,” she says instead, leaning in closer to breathe Alex in. _I’m just checking,_ Piper thinks, trying to keep the small space between them.

Alex shrugs. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“I was just leaving.” Piper takes another step toward the door, but Alex wraps a hand around her arm and pulls her in.

“ _What_ are you doing here?” she asks again, more forcefully this time. Alex is so close now that Piper can feel the warmth of her breath against her cheek.

“I thought—” Piper begins, grasping at the words. “I could come to see you. One last time.” She watches the look on Alex’s face shift ever so lightly – a small sadness just lying on the corner of Alex’s lips, almost completely unnoticeable, had Piper not been looking at her face _this_ hard.

“One last time?” Alex repeats, confused. She grips Piper’s arm tighter, like she’s saying, _Please don’t leave._

“I’m taking an internship offer abroad,” Piper finds herself saying.

“Where?”

Piper shrugs. “My dad and I are talking about options. Just—anywhere but _here_.”

“Piper.”

“Our contract’s ending in two weeks. There is _nothing_ for me here.”

“I am _here._ ” Piper has to look away as Alex says it, shifting her eyes to look at where Alex’s hand is wrapped around her arm instead. “Don’t go.”

“What do you want from me?” Piper asks quietly. “You want me to choose you over the _rest_ of my life?”

Alex loosens her hold around Piper’s arm and slides it downward to hold Piper’s wrist gently, thumb lightly scratching at the skin. “I want you to give me a chance to explain,” Alex just says.

Piper stares at the small gesture, trying not to cry.

*

There’s a different energy inside Alex’s room, now that Piper’s looking around it and thinking, _This is probably last time I’ll be here._ Truth be told, she hasn’t fully figured it out yet, how to _feel_ about this, but she follows Alex back to the elevator anyway, and now here they are.

“Would you like something to drink?” Even this Alex is different – like she’s more _formal_ and _aloof._ She hasn’t touched Piper since letting go of her hand in the lobby, and she has made sure to keep her distance inside the elevator and in this space.

Piper looks at the clock – just around 4 a.m. “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she says, standing in the middle of Alex’s living room.

Alex smiles wearily at her. “Milk then?”

_Can you not be an adorable asshole right now?_ Piper tries not to smile, but she feels herself failing anyhow. “Only if you have nothing stronger,” she says.

“Kidding,” Alex says, turning toward her refrigerator and taking out two bottles of beer. “One for the road? I figured it’s too late for vodka.”

Piper nods; almost says, _Too late._ Instead, she bites down on the tip of her tongue and wordlessly reaches for one of the bottles, carefully avoiding Alex’s fingers. _It is what it is._ She leans back against the far wall, watching as Alex opens her bottle while leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

The space between feels ocean-wide.

“Well,” Piper begins, beer still untouched. “I’m here now. Don’t you have something to say?”

Alex leans her head against the doorway, looking at Piper with an absent smile; looking at her like she’s thinking, _I could stay like this all night._ “Can I have a minute?” Alex asks. “Just—to look.”

“ _Alex._ ”

Alex shrugs, taking a swig from her beer. “I can see _you_ looking around,” she says, pointing with her beer-holding hand toward her shelves and walls. “I can see you thinking about this as your last time.”

“Alex. Please.” _Let’s not make this harder._

“Listen, kid,” Alex says, and this time, Piper shuts up. _Maybe it’s time I let her finish this._ “When you sent me out of that room earlier, I signed your papers and took your folder to your father. Then I went home.” Piper looks away as Alex’s voice fucking _breaks_ at the word. Alex pauses to clear her throat, and then: “I sat there staring at the closed door _waiting_ for you.”

“I can’t do this,” Piper begins saying, looking down at her feet.

“Just—this won’t take two more minutes,” Alex pleads. “So I was sitting there, waiting for the knock that never really happened. And then Lily’s message came in.”

_I should have fucking known._ Piper feels the anger starting to pool hotly in the pit of her stomach. “Do I really have to be around for this—”

“Let me _finish._ ” Piper looks up at that, incensed at the tone Alex actually starts taking. _What right do you have to be angry now?_ It makes Piper want to scream, but then the way Alex just looks at her – like she’s just been wronged and wounded on various levels. “So I figured I’d go out and have drinks with someone who actually _wanted_ to be around me--”

“Bullshit,” Piper interjects. “What are we even trying to accomplish here, Alex?”

“And I _couldn’t,_ okay?” Alex takes another swig, emptying her bottle this time, her hand shaky. “Jesus, _Piper._ Do you honestly think I want to keep doing this?” On the table, Alex’s phone lights up, and from this far, Piper can read the pop-up: It’s from Lily, and she’s asking, _Where are you?_

Piper feels her insides turn cold. “Lily wants to know where you are,” she says, tone flat.

“I think she knows _exactly_ where I am,” Alex says quietly, lowering her empty bottle on the table behind her. “I’m with you.”

_With you._ Piper sighs, drinking from her bottle in kind. _Jesus, fuck. What do we do now?_ “This doesn’t change anything,” Piper says. “I’m still leaving.”

“But I love you,” Alex says. The word echoes inside her quiet room, bouncing off the walls, the sound all magnified. It hits Piper like a blow to the chest; it takes all the air out of her, and now she finds herself gasping.

Alex just stands there, waiting for her to recover, the seemingly vast expanse of her living room still between them.

“I don’t say that to just anyone,” she continues, fiddling with the hem of her top. “You’re supposed to say it back.”

Piper clears her throat. _Not like we have anywhere else to go,_ she thinks. _It all just feels inevitable._  “I love you, too.” She marvels at how that had been simultaneously easy and heavy all the same, the words echoing in her head. “But what does it matter?”

Against all expectations, Alex laughs. The sound is dry and flat, and is actually the _saddest_ thing Piper’s ever heard. _Shit._ Piper feels the familiar sting start at the corner of her eye, and she looks away as she tries to brush oncoming tears out of the way with the underside of her wrist.

“Jesus—are you crying kid?” Alex asks, and when Piper looks at her, she’s wiping at her face in kind. “Well. That makes two of us.” And then, “When are you leaving?”

Piper shrugs. “My dad says I should sleep on it. I just—I’m so _confused_ ,” she says. “Why must everything about you feel this way?”

“I’m sorry about all of it,” Alex offers quietly. “I know I’m a fuck-up – but I’m _your_ fuck-up, aren’t I?”

Now, it’s Piper turn to laugh; it’s just as ill-advised and achy, like the sound has blades for edges, and they’re digging into the underside of her chest. “I’m not sure how to feel about that,” she just says, laughing through a blur of tears.    

“Me too,” Alex says. And then: “Congratulations on your internship.”

“Yeah,” Piper just says, sniffing as she lowers her empty beer bottle on the floor beside her. “I guess that’s a wrap.”

 


	17. paris, inevitable

The night is cold when Alex steps out that night, her phone warm in her pocket. Alex knows this is a bad idea – of course it is, but lately, all she’s been having are _bad ideas_ anyway. What’s one more, right?

 _Right._ Alex remembers how Lily sounded on the phone – like she’s actually already half-asleep and totally stunned to be getting this phone call in the middle of the night.

“ _Alex_.” Lily had answered her phone in frantic whispers, and in her head, Alex almost sees her tumbling out of bed, covers now askew. “What the actual _fuck_.”

“You were right,” Alex had said, keeping her voice level. “I was _not_ sleeping.”

“ _Fuck_. Alex. I’m still not drunk enough for this.”

“You’ve been drinking.”

“Like _you_ haven’t.”

 _Touche._ “Not enough,” Alex had said. “Meet me at the Island.”

“The Island? Alex, what—”

“I’m walking.”

 _And now here we are._ Alex looks both ways before crossing, shoving her hands deeper into her pockets. _Fuck, that was careless._ She regrets all of it immediately, actually, but despite that she keeps walking – never mind the hour, or the amount of alcohol already in her system.

She considers calling Lily again and just apologizing, but despite that being the most decent thing to do, Alex cannot bring herself to do it. _This will all look horrible in the morning,_ she just keeps thinking, trying to push away the memory of Lily's lips.

 _Piper._ Alex has to slow down as the memory of Piper’s face hits her instead, like an extra cold gust of wind. _None of that was for points?_ she hears Piper asking her again, and Alex has to take a moment to shake it out.

 _It’s just a drink. Nobody’s watching. Nobody cares._ Alex checks her watch, only to find that only ten minutes have passed.

When Alex reaches the Island, it’s still in full swing, and she squints against the swivelling lights as she tries peering inside. A temporary chill grips her as she remembers Nicky and Boo. _What if they’re here?_ she thinks, looking around as she pushes the door open, letting the music wrap warmly around her as she steps in.

After midnight, the people in the Island turn to dancing. By this hour, everybody’s just drunk enough to surrender to the music, or so Alex had always assumed.

 _I’ve never seen Piper dance,_ she finds herself thinking idly, eyeing a random blonde in the middle of the dance floor.

“You’re flying solo tonight.” When Alex turns to the bar, she finds a warm, friendly face smiling at her.

“Don’t tell,” Alex just says, smiling back. _It’s easier under these dim lights._

Rosie just laughs, putting a finger on her lips, like she’s shushing herself. “Course not,” she says, leaning closer. “What are you having?”

Alex takes a moment to consider her question, noting the gentle throbbing that’s begun somewhere in the back of her head. “Just a mojito,” Alex says. “Just to end this night.”

“That kind of night, huh?” Rosie just says, before turning away to prepare her drink.

Alex lets her eyes wander as she waits; usually, she finds it enjoyable, staring at all these nameless, beautiful girls, but tonight, nothing seems to work. _They’re not Piper._

_Piper’s not here._

Alex startles lightly at the feel of cold glass brushing against her hand. Rosie’s back with her drink, and she’s smiling at her, like she’s waiting for Alex to _spill_. Alex just smiles back, saying nothing.

“You’re here to meet someone,” Rosie says – not a question, but a statement of fact. “But you’re here at the bar _hiding_. Aren’t you?”

Alex looks away, taking a sip from her glass. “You’re good at that,” she just says in acknowledgement. Truth be told, she went out of her house looking for _conversation._ Just something to drown in, other than – well. _Well, here you go._

“Years of practice,” Rosie says, smiling tiredly. Under these lights, she looks exhausted but still beautiful. “You never come here alone. Whoever she is, she must have _really_ done a number on you.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Rosie nods, shrugging. “Aren’t they always?” And then, wiping at the table space just in front of Alex, “Well, if you’re still around at 3 –”

“Come on, Rosie,” Alex says, laughing lightly into her glass. _I don’t need any more fucking distraction._ “Don’t make this harder on me.”

“Sorry,” she just says, touching Alex’s hand lightly. “Just thought you could use some company.”

 _I could._ Alex blinks, remembering Boo. “My friend likes you, you know,” she finds herself saying, watching amusedly as Rosie’s eyes go wide.

“Really,” says Rosie, her tone betraying a sort of excitement that she’s actively trying to cover. “You should tell her to come up to me sometime.”

 _Well. At least I could do something for someone._ “I will.” And then, “Thanks for this.” Rosie gives her a wink before turning around.

Alex spots Lily in the far corner just as Rosie leaves her. Alex feels a familiar dread wrap around her heart, and it prompts her to drain the rest of her drink. It traces its warm path down her throat and leaves the mint in her mouth. Alex's first instinct is to retreat into some darker corner, watching as Lily starts chatting up some guy who approaches her. Lily cranes her neck to look around, glancing at the phone in her hand every now and then.

 _Well, in the spirit of being an asshole to everyone,_ Alex just thinks to herself. _Why not push it all the way?_ She takes her jacket off the back of her stool and heads for the door, squeezing through the crowd without looking back.

*

Throughout the walk home, Alex ignores the buzzing of her phone in her pocket.

*

When she reaches her apartment, Alex thinks she is done for the night. That's when she sees Piper --eyes closed, feet unsteady, one shaky hand against the wall. Alex feels her stomach plummet at the sight.

"Piper?"

Piper turns slowly, like she's not quite hearing Alex call out to her. "You're--you're not asleep," Piper says finally, their eyes meeting. _I suppose I'm not the only one losing sleep then,_ Alex figures, studying Piper's weary face.

"What are you doing here?" Alex's tongue feels too large for her mouth; too unwieldy, too clumsy for the words she actually wants to say. _How do I even begin?_

“You’re _drunk,_ ” Piper says instead, moving closer and breathing deep. Alex holds her breath, trying not to lean in – Piper’s _so_ close, she might as well kiss her. _But that won’t help anyone, would it?_ At that moment, it surprises Alex, how for once she has managed a totally unselfish gesture – even if that meant _not_ doing anything and keeping still.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Alex says, trying to be nonchalant. Piper looks at her, a measure of what seems to be resentment flashing briefly in her eyes as she tries moving past Alex.

“I was just leaving.”

 _No, you’re not._ Despite herself, Alex feels her arm shoot out, hand wrapping around Piper’s arm and _pulling._ Piper’s skin is warm and _familiar,_ and just being this close to Piper is doing things to Alex that her weary mind does not have enough words for. “ _What_ are you doing here?” Alex tries asking again, gripping Piper tighter.

“I thought I could come see you,” says Piper, after a while. “One last time.”

 _Last._ The word cuts at her like a dagger. “One last time?”

The rest come to Alex in disjointed bursts that she can barely process: _Internship... abroad... options... ending. Two weeks._ Alex blinks. “Where?”

“Anywhere but here,” Piper says, and Alex just hears herself repeat the name: _Piper._ The sound comes out, soft as a whimper. “Our contract’s ending in two weeks. There is _nothing_ for me here.”

 _Nothing?_ Alex wants to laugh, as the dagger that has been lodged in her chest now feels like it’s being pushed even deeper; like Piper’s even _twisting_ it in.

“I am _here,_ ” Alex says, voice hoarse. When Piper looks away, Alex grips her arm tighter, like she’s saying, _Look at me, kid. “_ Don’t go.”

It’s out before Alex can stop herself. _You selfish thing._ She’s not proud of this – _needing_ Piper to stay. By now, _needing_ is already this completely alien feeling – she’s gone so long without it. _But then, here it is now – what do we do with a feeling like that?_ Alex chews on her lip, waiting for Piper to say something.

“What do you want from me?” Piper asks. It’s all so quiet Alex can almost hear the sound of her own heart slowly breaking. “You want me to choose you over the rest of my life?”

 _And so it has come to this._ Alex has seen this coming; has always been aware that one day, it will boil down to a decision like this. She feels her grip softening around Piper’s arm, tracing downward gently, until she reaches Piper’s wrist. _We are such fragile things,_ she just thinks, scratching lightly at the skin.

“I want you to give me a chance to explain,” Alex just says.

Piper does not look at her, keeping her eyes fixed on Alex’s hand instead.

*

Alex leads Piper into the elevator, all the while quiet. She keeps her eyes away throughout; like this, Piper's actually difficult to look at, and _then_ there's that insistent buzzing of her phone inside her pocket; it feels like the guilt is burning its way through the fabric of her jeans.

Alex opens the door to her apartment and ushers Piper in, the energy of the place completely different from the one she's used to, and one look at Piper tells Alex that she feels it too.

"Would you like something to drink?" Alex feels awkward and suddenly unsure. _This used to be the only place we can be sure,_ she thinks, staring at the curve of Piper's neck. _Jesus, Alex. Get a grip._  

"I'll have whatever you're having," Piper says, standing right in the middle of the living room. Alex feels her fingertips tingling, wanting to touch.

Alex figures it's safe enough to attempt a joke. "Milk, then?" She even manages a small smile.

"Only if you have nothing stronger." Piper sounds like she's holding in a laugh -- _Oh, what I wouldn't give for that,_ Alex thinks. But then, seeing the ghost of a smile -- it's enough. _Almost._

"Kidding," Alex says, opening the refrigerator, relieved to find two bottles of beer still there. "One for the road then?" she turns to Piper and offers her one. "I figured it's too late for vodka."

Piper just nods, reaching for it with shaky fingers, before retreating back toward the far wall.

Alex stares at Piper, then at the space between them. Her head is full of images of oceans and seas. _Look at us, like split coasts._  

"Well," Piper says, clearing her throat. "I'm here now. Don't you have something to say?"

Alex's throat is dry, so she makes a move for her beer first, leaning her head against the doorway. _If I tilt the world like this,_ Alex thinks. _Would it be any different?_ Her eyes fall on her own knees, and immediately her head fills with unbidden memories of previous apologies.

She keeps drinking; her cheeks feel inordinately warm, just remembering the burn of the carpet against the skin there, the salt on her lips--

"Alex."

"Can I have a minute?" Alex says, her smile faltering a bit. "Just to _look_."

" _Alex._ "

"I can see _you_ looking around," Alex points out, taking another swig from her bottle, gesturing to her walls. _If these walls could talk._ “I can see you thinking about this as your last time.”

“Alex. _Please._ ”

 _Please._ Something inside Alex snaps at the word. “Listen, kid,” she begins, breathing in deep. “When you sent me out of that room earlier, I signed your papers and took your folder to your father. Then I went home.” Alex pulls out her phone from her pocket and puts it on the table in front of them. She clears her throat before continuing: “I sat there staring at the closed door _waiting_ for you.”

Piper says, “I can’t do this,” shifting her eyes downward. She moves against the wall like she’s getting ready to bolt.

“This won’t take two minutes,” Alex says, buying herself some time. “So I was sitting there, waiting for that knock. Then Lily’s message came in.”

There’s a visible shift to Piper’s aura—like she’s immediately _angry_ and annoyed. “Do I really have to be around for this—”

“Let me _finish_ ,” Alex finds herself saying, voice sterner than intended. Piper looks up, surprised. “So I figured I’d go out and have drinks with someone who actually _wanted_ to be around me—”

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Piper spits out. “What are we even trying to accomplish here, Alex?”

Alex shakes her head. _Fuck it, what’s the point?_ “And I _couldn’t_ , okay?” she says, finishing off her beer. “Jesus, _Piper_. Do you honestly think I want to keep doing this?”

Right on cue, the phone on her table starts vibrating, lighting up with a message Alex dreads: It’s Lily.

“Lily wants to know where you are,” says Piper, tone cold.

 _What fucking timing,_ Alex just thinks. “I think she knows exactly where I am,” she says, lowering her empty bottle on the table behind her. “I’m with you.”

Alex watches as Piper finishes her drink quietly. “This doesn’t change anything,” Piper says, after. “I’m still leaving.”

 _Please don’t go._ “But I love you,” Alex says. The words slip out before she can even bite down on her tongue. Piper seems just as stunned, and for a moment Alex just stands there, waiting.

“I don’t say that to just anyone,” Alex continues, when Piper says nothing. _What if there’s nothing else to say?_ The thought makes her fidget with the hem of her top, suddenly nervous. “You’re supposed to say it back.”

Piper takes a few more moments, before clearing her throat: “I love you too.” It’s out so softly, and the word that comes to Alex’s mind is _petals._ She watches as Piper dabs at her eye with her wrist.

“Jesus—are you crying, kid?” Alex asks, and right there she feels a sting in her own eye. _Fuck._ “Well. That makes two of us.” They share a small, helpless laugh before: “When are you leaving?”

Piper shrugs, sniffing. “My dad says I should sleep on it. I just – I’m so _confused._ ” She looks at Alex with tear-stained cheeks. “Why must everything about you feel this way?”

Alex can’t decide what gets to her the most – Piper’s look of quiet ruin or the resignation and helplessness in her tone. “I’m sorry about all of it,” Alex says, softly. “I know I’m a fuck-up – but I’m _your_ fuck-up, aren’t I?”

And then, against all expectations, Piper _laughs_ – still a damned sad sound, but still a laugh, isn’t it? “I’m not sure how to feel about that,” she says, laughing and crying at the same time.

“Me too,” says Alex. And then: “Congratulations on your internship.”

Piper sniffs as she lowers her empty beer bottle to the floor. “Yeah,” she nods weakly. “I guess that’s a wrap.”

*

On the day Piper leaves, Alex is in one of the office conference rooms, trying to focus on a new transcript. _Life goes on,_ she thinks, but her concentration’s just so _shot,_ it’s frustrating.

“You’ve probably been rewinding fifteen seconds of that clip for the past two hours.”

When Alex looks up, she sees Nicky approaching. Alex tries a small smile before exchanging high-fives with her. “How do you know?” she asks as Nicky settles into the seat beside her.

Nicky just nods over to Alex’s open Word document – still uncharacteristically empty. “Look, Vause. We all have our off days. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Alex sighs, removing her glasses and tossing them on the table. She looks up at the ceiling -- now one messy, line-less blur. “I’ve been _off_ for, like, two weeks. I have had deadlines moved for me – I cannot fucking live with myself.”

Nicky just looks at her, frown forming on her face. “That girl Piper sure was something, huh.” Alex just nods. It’s over anyway – no use denying anything. “Last I heard she’s getting an internship in Paris. That true?”

Alex shrugs. She and Piper hadn’t spoken since that night in her apartment, and the last time Alex saw her, Piper was cleaning out her table in her father’s office. It was too much of a sight that Alex couldn’t watch long enough and wait for Piper to finish.

“Not sure which among the options she chose, eventually,” Alex says. “There was another one from Norway that was just as lucrative.”

“Want me to ask Bill?” Nicky says, to which Alex just shakes her head politely. “You sure?”

“Piper’s gone, okay?” Alex says. It’s the first time she hears herself say it; for so long, she had not wanted to put the situation into _actual_ words, but now here they are. “Who won your bet, by the way? Entertain me with less depressing updates, will you?”

Nicky smiles, pursing her lips like she’s remembering a long-kept secret. “Points-wise, Boo won,” she begins. “So I had to pay her $100, but _then_ I won our bet with you and Piper, so that $100 has been given back to me.”

Alex laughs lightly; her chest almost hurts from the strange sound. “Well, does somebody still win when all your results cancel out anyway?”

Nicky shrugs, reaching into her pocket to pull out $100. “I’m not sure,” she admits. And then: “I suppose you could use the $100 these days.”

Alex laughs until she cries, staining the table with tears.  

*

At first, she sees Piper in places – in empty ballrooms and park benches, and once, in her own cubicle, the ghost of her huddled in the corner with imaginary earphones on. “I’m going crazy,” she tells Boo, at some point. Boo just pats her on the shoulder, sympathetic, before hauling her back to The Island that night.

On nights like those, she drinks herself blind. No matter how brief Piper’s stay had been, her damage had been quite extraordinary. “I’ve seen lesbian drama, okay,” Nicky says. “But then, we have _your_ drama. What exactly went down between the two of you?”

Boo snickers and Alex laughs along, shaking her head as she sips from her drink. “Pretty sure we already know the answer to that,” says Boo.

“Fuck off,” Alex says, shoving her lightly.

“Come on, I’ve seen you down because of some girl, but I’ve never seen you _this_ down,” Nicky says.

“Piper’s different,” says Alex, staring at the surface of her table.

“Because you love her?”

Alex just looks at Nicky, sighing. “Because she’s different,” she just says.

There’s a long quiet moment before Boo clears her throat, raising her drink. “A toast then?” she offers, as Nicky and Alex raise their glasses in kind. “To a different sort of girl, yes?”

“Amen,” Nicky says.

Alex shrugs, downing the rest of her drink. “Amen.”

*

The next time Alex sees Lily, they’re assigned in another coverage together. The surprise is obvious in Lily’s eyes – she startles so clearly when Alex first sees her.

“Hello, Lily,” Alex says, trying to look her in the eye. _It’s the least I could do,_ she just thinks. Lily looks back like she’s trying to figure out how to be around Alex, after _everything._

In the end, Lily settles for: “Hello, Alex.” And then, “Shot list?”

Alex reaches into her pocket and hands it over. She looks at the lobby clock: _I have three hours to make this right._ When she looks back over at Lily, she’s studying her shot list earnestly. “Hey, listen.”

“Hm?”

Alex breathes in as Lily presses the elevator button. “I know I’ve been an asshole.”

“Yep,” Lily says curtly, eyes still glued on the piece of paper in her hand. The elevator doors open and she steps in first, Alex trailing closely behind her.

“Okay,” Alex says, watching the floors as they descend. “I had that coming.” Lily does not say anything more. “I just want to let you know – you met me at a very strange... _juncture._ Of my life. It’s still strange, and I don’t think I’ll ever be _not-_ strange, and--”

“Look, I get it,” Lily says, folding the paper carefully now and tucking it into her shirt pocket. Alex looks at her like she’s expecting her to _finally_ look at her, but she doesn’t. Instead, Lily takes her camera out and fiddles with its controls. “It was a weird time. We all have _that_ weird time.”

Alex opens her mouth to say something more, but the elevator doors are opening again and just like that, Lily’s rushing out, walking briskly toward their assigned vehicle.

 _Great,_ Alex sighs, half-running after her. _Maybe later._

 _Later_ is about three and a half hours later, when they’re back in the editorial corridors and Alex is quietly following Lily to the Photo Department, waiting for the right moment. The event they covered was roughly three hours long, but Lily barely looks at her throughout the entire thing, it was almost like she was covering alone.

“Can I get those photos tomorrow?” Alex ventures, as Lily pauses at the Photo Department’s door.

“Depends,” Lily says. “Editing would probably take some time.”

“You haven’t looked at me all day,” says Alex. “And I know I deserve every bit of this, but—”

“But what?” Lily turns around slowly, crossing her arms before her chest as she finally looks at Alex. “Believe it or not, Alex – it hurts to _look_ at you.”

It stuns Alex, how sincere Lily sounds. “I’m sorry,” she just says, looking away first. “I’m sorry for all of it.”

“I’m sure you are,” says Lily. And then: “You’ll have your photos tomorrow.”

 _Oh,_ Alex thinks dumbly, watching Lily disappear through the door. _What made you think this apology was going to be easy?_

*

It rains on the day of the event, and Alex rushes into the venue, umbrella-less. _Shit,_ she thinks, wiping the rain from her glasses and straightening her jacket before pushing the door open. _So much for this weather._

And this is not even counting the fact that she spent most of the morning trying to make her way through this city’s unfamiliar streets – there are days she enjoys getting lost in new places, but this morning has been _anything_ but enjoyable.

 _Ah, new cities._ Alex decides to charge it to experience, feeling for her now damp map tucked inside her jacket. _Do better later._

Once inside, Alex looks around for the registration table. She is already painfully late; the lobby’s basically deserted – registration desk included – which means everybody’s already inside. _Just my luck._ She approaches the first person she sees – a middle-aged man who doesn’t look like he’s affiliated with the event at all.

“Excuse me,” she greets, smiling. “Would you know--” She points at the registration desk, fumbling for the words. He just looks back at her, confused. _Great. He probably doesn’t know what I’m saying._ “Never mind. Thank you.”

“Alex?”

Her chest stills at the sound. _Wait._ She turns slowly – she’d know that voice _anywhere._

And she hadn’t expected to hear it again.

When Alex finally sees Piper, the first thing she notices is how her hair is longer. Of all the words she wants to say, the first thing that comes out is the softest, “Hey.”

Piper approaches slowly, like she’s actively trying not to run to her; biting down on her lip like she’s trying not to smile too widely. “Hey,” she says back. “Is it a bad time to say hi?”

Suddenly, Alex feels all too conscious of herself -- her hair’s too damp, and there’s probably water in her shoes. _I must look like shit._ She pushes both hands into her pockets, for the lack of anything better to do with them. She hopes she’s not dripping all over the floor. “Not at all,” she manages, smiling.

Piper keeps walking, stopping only when she’s about two steps away. With the way she’s looking at Alex, it’s almost easy to forget how it went, the last time they were this close.

 _Feels like a lifetime ago,_ Alex thinks idly, watching Piper here now. “But you hate me,” Alex says softly, trying to keep her tone light _._ “And now you’re here. And you’re _talking_ to me. Does this mean you don’t hate me anymore?”

Piper looks down and stares at her shoes. “Maybe,” she says, her smile almost audible. “Or maybe I’m just not keeping grudges today.”  

 _Today._ Outside, the rain has stopped, and from where they’re standing, Alex can see that the sun is now back out, sunlight bouncing off the puddles on the street.

 _Today._ “It’s good to see your face, Pipes,” Alex just says, inhaling.

Close like this, Piper smells like vanilla and rainwater and clean slates, and Alex just keeps breathing.

#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank *you* for sticking with this from start to finish. It has been such a sweet ride. Thank you. :)


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